


Hope From Afar

by Leilani5



Category: Supernatural
Genre: All families are close with one another, Alternative Ending (Who will Dean choose? Cas or Sam?), Ellen is Dean's aunt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Friendship, Love Triangle, M/M, Mary is Sam's mother, Past sexual abuse (Dean), Sacrifice, Sad Ending, Strict family, Suicidal Tendencies, Tension, Zachariah and Naomi are Castiel's parents, break ups, heartbreaks, love and romance, loving family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 02:18:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 105
Words: 85,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9945851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leilani5/pseuds/Leilani5
Summary: Castiel, Dean and Sam were best friends since their childhood years. They shared the ups and downs in life together even when they came from different family backgrounds. They made a pact to always care for one another, forever. But when love blooms their young hearts when they least expected it, the friendship they cherished was endlessly tested.Who will sacrifice their love for the sake of happiness they've sought all their lives?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another Destiel - I just can't help it! lol
> 
> Story inspired by a very beautiful and heartbreaking song. First chapter began with the lyric that I translated to English.
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading my fic!  
> Thank you!

 

 

I pray for your happiness 

That in him you will find it always

Resigned to our fate beloved as I take my leave

With all the blames we shared, you shall be reprieved

 

 

Your love will stay with me forever true

Even when our memories will soon desert you

Our true love may not last  


But my yearning for your prosperity is steadfast

 

 

From afar I will always pray

That the sadness in you will be kept at bay

And as I retreat from this want and need

I prayed to God too that my heart would heed

 

 

Remember sweetheart, I don't regret this love I sacrifice

For our fate was written before our very eyes  

Leave me beloved, you have my blessing

As reminiscence of us fill my empty being


	2. Chapter 2

Venice, Los Angeles

Summer of 1988

 

Castiel calls out to his parents when he finally sees a taxi pulls up in front of his family vacation home by the canal. His mother is still nagging at his father to hurry up and meet their guests at the door before rushing downstairs to her son. She tries to pat down Castiel's unruly dark hair but the twelve year old smacks his mother's hand off with a scowl on his face. Michael, his older brother laughs at them from the top of the stairs. Annoyed, Castiel flips his middle finger at him but the college senior only laughs harder at his insolent brother.

"Castiel! I told you countless of times not to make that horrible gesture! Please, I need you to be on your best behavior for these people. They're unfortunate and I really want them to feel comfortable living with us. Ellen's a dear old friend and she needs our help!" scolds Naomi hurriedly as she brushes an invisible lint off her younger son's jacket next. Castiel rolls his eyes impatiently at his mother's fussiness.

"Mom! I'm going! Catch ya guys later!" shouts Michael, winking playfully at his brother while making his way towards the canal at the back.

"Why is it that he can leave and I must stay? It's so not fair!" argues Castiel petulantly that his mother shakes her head in despair. She ignores him and starts yelling at his father again when the doorbell suddenly rings.

"Coming!!" Zachariah responds with a grin as he approaches his family. Naomi huffs impatiently at her husband as she opens the door. 

"Ellen!! It's so good to see you again my dear! Please come in!" chimes Naomi happily that both Zachariah and Castiel stifled their laughter at her contrast demeanor earlier. Ellen's soft voice makes Castiel peeks at her behind the door. She's not alone, there's a young boy about his age holding on to her arm like his life depends on it. 

Naomi welcomes them inside and immediately introduces her family and then Zachariah offers to take their suitcases to the guestroom across the hallway. Ellen and Dean settled in the luxurious den for a delectable afternoon tea prepared by the excited owner. Naomi loves to entertain, especially guests like Ellen and Dean. She is by no means a show off. It just makes her feel good sharing her fortune with unfortunate people. Her family thought otherwise but she insisted that she's not. 

Castiel observes Dean quietly when the women start talking. The blond is either shy or arrogant because not once he turns to look at Castiel. As if he, the young master of this mansion does not exist, thought Castiel funnily. 

"How's the weather like in New York when you left it, Dean?" asks Castiel politely to the boy who looks shock at being addressed. Dean cleared his throat fast as he struggles to reply. It's a simple question that deserves a simple answer. He doesn't remember anyone his age asking that kind of question to him. Castiel doesn't seem that much older but the kid makes Dean nervous. Maybe the suit he's wearing. Who wears suit in Summer? thought Dean curiously.

"Dean...Castiel asked you a question, sweetie." coaxes Ellen gently that Dean looks up at her and nods readily. 

"It's hot." his short reply makes Castiel smile. He likes that Dean's uncomfortable which means that the boy's shy. Castiel hate arrogance of any kind that he can't wait to be Dean's friend. His smile fades though as soon as he saw the bruises on Dean's upper arm. His eyes darted immediately to Dean's troubled face. The green eyed boy hastily pulls his short sleeve down and avoids Castiel's wide stare. The latter feels bad that he excuses himself to go to the bathroom. 

Ellen's aware what's happening between them but continues chatting away with Naomi so that the latter won't notice the bruises on her nephew's arm too. Her body is there but her mind constantly flies back to the night when she called the police to arrest John, her brother for assaulting his son, Dean again. It was a very difficult decision for her to make and her only other option is to seek Naomi's help. They were best friends and still are. Although they come from very different backgrounds, nothing could stop their friendship from blossoming all these years since Ellen's grandmother worked for Naomi's rich but strict parents in New York.  

When she calls Naomi last night, it was her housekeeper that answered. Ellen was given Naomi's vacation home number in Los Angeles and after she confided in her friend her plight, Naomi got her assistant in New York to buy one way flight tickets for her and Dean.

Castiel looks at himself in the mirror and wonders about Dean's bruises. The blonde's reaction to his discovery was what piques Castiel's interest. Dean's obviously ashamed of himself when he averted his gaze from him. Castiel's heart wrenches at the thought that the kid was abused. He chides himself quickly for his baseless assumptions and returns back to the guests. Dean's staying with them for the summer and he should be a gracious host to the boy and his mother. He will make his mother, the ever perfect Naomi proud of him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just like to warn that this story will end in a heartbreak :(
> 
> but I will think of an alternative ending if needed later! :p

Castiel watches the scene before him with interest. His mother's attempts at getting Dean to settle in a separate room from his aunt, Ellen was fruitless. He could sense she's getting frustrated but tries very hard not to show it. Ellen convinced her finally that it's okay for Dean to be close to her since the bedroom is big and has twin beds anyway. Easier to clean she adds. Naomi shakes her head in despair, smiles at Dean and said,"Alright! But the room is ready anytime if you change your mind, you hear me young man?" 

Dean nods readily and follows his aunt into their room. Naomi turns to Castiel and shrugs. Her son walks up to her and says,"Let him be, mother. He's shy and it's good to have his aunt close so they could talk to each other. But what happened to Dean? Was he abused by someone in the family? Where are his parents?"

Naomi widened her eyes and pulls her son towards the kitchen."Too many questions as usual, Castiel! There's nothing wrong with him, perhaps he fell or something!" whispers Naomi in a rush. She's afraid that their guests overhear their conversation.

"Mom! Those are dark finger bruises! There's no way they're self inflicted! Just tell me! I can keep a secret, you know that!" Castiel whispers back urgently that his mother grips his shoulder and looks at him straight in the eyes.

"Castiel James Novak. I'm not at liberty to share with you any of their secrets. I promised Ellen and one can't break their promises can they, Castiel?" reminds Naomi with forced patience that her son just shakes his head in resignation. His mother then shoos him to his room to rest till dinner time.

They're all going out to eat at a nice Italian restaurant in Venice beach, she reminds and then grumbles about Michael's whereabouts on the way to her room. His hardworking father has already settled in his study as usual and Castiel decides to give him a visit. 

He loves to read and his father inherited so many valuable books of all kinds from his grandfather. They're all stored in the library next to his study. Naomi is a fashion designer and that's why his parents bought the vacation home years ago for her to get away to be inspired. Castiel knows it's also an excuse for her to hang out with her desperate housewives buddies in Beverly Hills!

"Aunt...Cas saw my bruises. I hope he won't asks me any questions about it later..I don't want to tell him anything. He'll be disgusted with me that I don't think I can live in his house.." says Dean sadly in his bed facing his aunt, who's arranging their clothes in the wardrobe. It is a nice, airy room with their own little balcony, looking out the canal. Ellen thanked her dear friend, Naomi earlier for her generosity and thoughtfulness with tears in her eyes. Dean is still too distraught to enjoy the beauty of this place, she thought. Her mind went to that night again when she witnessed John.....abusing her nephew.

She will never understands why a father would do that to their own flesh and blood. Dean had screamed in agony at the brutal force he's suffering that Ellen had to resort to hitting her brother with the bat. Fortunately, it didn't kill him or Ellen would be charged for murder. She's still shaken whenever she thought about the horrific incident but with John unconscious, its easier to get Dean out of there and called the police. 

Ellen knows that the only way for Dean to recover is to take him far away from New York even when his father's in prison. John was released twice due to good behavior and every time he comes home, he will repeat his disgusting act on his son. Dean will die if she does nothing because the kid's withdrawn and refused to go to school because of the merciless teasing he received from bullies.

She shuts the drawer and sits next to her nephew. Holding him close while kissing his temple softly, she says,"I don't think he will, sweetheart. He's polite yet unique and I feel that you can trust him, Dean but if you don't, you're not obligated to share with him anything just because we're staying here. Anyway we're not free loaders because I'll be working for Naomi."  

Dean looks at her curiously and she laughs. "Oh, just simple cooking and gardening. You can help me too!" exclaims Ellen happily as she remembers the memories of her own grandmother working for Naomi's parents years ago. Ellen too was a victim of circumstances, her parents died in an automobile accident and that's why she ended up living with the Novaks too.

"I'd like that...please make me very busy, I want to forget these things in my head. They won't go away.." Dean cries softly in her arms that she can't help but cried along with him too.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The restaurant's busy that Naomi's glad she made the reservations earlier. Castiel notices that Dean wears long sleeves shirt this time and as usual he stays close to his aunt. Cas makes light conversation every now and then that involves everybody that eventually Dean relaxes in his amiable company.

While the adults talk to one another, Cas engages Dean in conversations about food and books and nothing personal. He's happy that the blonde shares his passion in reading and gushes about the extensive library at home. Dean can't wait to see them and Cas asks his mother if they can leave first. Naomi's ready to object but Zachariah cuts in and said,"Why not? Show him the book on our family history too, Cas. We'll see you boys later."

Naomi shot her husband a quick glare which wasn't missed by Ellen who sat next to her. Ellen disagrees with him too and worries for her nephew but Zachariah asserts that the boys will benefit from this new friendship since they've a lot in common. Like Dean, Castiel finds it hard to make friends and what's worse is he goes to a private Catholic school for boys.

The institution follows a very strict regiment and any kind of shenanigans are frown upon. Prayers starts from dawn till dusk everyday but Castiel embraces this rigid routine with a clear heart and mind and he quite enjoys theology though he refuses to be a Priest like what his mother hopes for.

Castiel treasures the knowledge he gathers from religion but he's certainly not that pious. His mother has so many plans and programs for him that he barely has time for himself. He knows that his parents are making up for the "mistake" they did to his brother Michael.

The college senior is spoiled, carefree and has no visions about his future. His parents are clearly disappointed in him especially his mother, Naomi who gives up on her first born. With Castiel, she's able to rectify their mistake by grooming him to be the son she always wanted but fails to see the price the twelve year old is paying. He didn't get to enjoy his childhood much and this results with constant arguments with her husband Zachariah, a business man who travels a lot and expects her to run their household smoothly. 

The boys walk home in silence till Castiel turns to Dean and asks,"Would you like to hang out by the canal first?"

Dean looks at him and replies quietly,"...yeah..why not..?" Castiel smile is blinding when the blonde agrees. Dean can't help but smile too seeing his enthusiasm.

"Do you fish?" he asks Dean as they walk slowly by the canal. It's a beautiful night with stars blanketed the vast sky and the full moon casts its shadow on the water surface.

"No...never...you?" asks Dean unsure. He wonders about this back and forth conversation with this blue eyed boy. Since when anyone has ever finds him interesting to talk to...let alone wants to be his friend? If only Dean hears Castiel's identical thoughts of him. The brunette's happy to have met such acquaintance, though shy, he knows that eventually Dean will warm up to him and soon they will be best friends. So sure of himself that he could feel it in his entire being.

"I do a lot. We have two boats, small and big. I used the small one to fish, sometimes with my dad but most times alone. Michael's using it right now. Perhaps we can go fishing tomorrow morning!" exclaims Castiel with excitement that Dean can't help smiling nervously at his new friend but he doesn't reply anything that Castiel quickly clears his throat and asks again,"I'm sorry...I forgot that maybe you want to sleep in..."

Dean looks at him and shakes his head lightly. "I'd like to go fishing. What time should I wake up, Cas?"

Castiel beams and hurriedly states,"Six!" Dean's eyes went wide but quickly agrees to the timing. He hates to burst the kid's happy bubble. 

After the short walk, the duo spent the rest of the night in Zachariah's library. The boys are in their element as they discuss and read the books together that Naomi has to keep reminding them to go to bed. 

"Did you guys have fun?" asks Ellen gently as Dean's settling in his bed, smiling away.

"We did, aunt, thanks. Castiel's weird...but its a good weird.. I think we can be very good friends.." he says quietly, still with a smile plastered on his face. Ellen's happy for her nephew but she doesn't know about his plans the next day. Dean's about to tell her when she says,"I'm going to the supermarket early tomorrow, Dean, will you come with me, sweetie?"

Dean's mind struggles to refuse her invitation but then he remembers her kindness and quickly responds,"Yes, aunt. Of course I will"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For these first few chapters, I will be focusing on their childhood, the tight bond that they shared that will end in a love affair as they grew up. So I hope you'll be patient with me..Sam too will appear soon enough, so please hold on!! lol

Castiel's up very early the next morning, excited to begin the day with his new friend, Dean. He even prepares breakfast sandwiches for them to take to the boat, thankfully Michael came home last night instead of staying at his friend's. The brunette's so happy that he tries to whistle but nothing came out that he chuckles at his own failure.

He looks at the clock on the wall, it shows a quarter to six, Dean will be coming out of his room anytime now, Cas thought impatiently. He then double checks the fishing gears, making sure that the worms he catches that morning are enough and still alive. Satisfied, he washes his hand again and heads towards the boat with a spring in his steps. 

The sun's almost up since it's summer and he hopes that Dean will appear soon but when the blonde still nowhere to be seen, he walks back inside the house to check on him. He knocks on Dean's door softly a few times and Ellen answered.

"Oh, good morning Castiel! Do you want your breakfast now, sweetie?" asks Ellen, smiling.

"No...thank you..but..uh..good morning to you too, Ms Harvelle. Is Dean ready?" asks Cas as he peeks curiously behind her, looking for Dean.

"He's in the shower, Cas. Are you coming with us to the supermarket too?" asks Ellen gently but the surprise look on the boy's face makes her asks him what's the matter.

"No..nothing, Ms Harvelle. I uh..I gotta go back to my boat in case my worms escape!" and with that proclamation, Cas ran towards the back, to his boat and started the engine before Ellen able to catch up with him. His breath comes in shorts as his heart stammers in his chest.

Dean forgotten about our plans to fish. That has got to be it, he didn't mean to bail out on me..assures Cas to himself over and over again.

Ellen shakes her head in wonder. Dean's right, Castiel is a little weird and told her nephew that after he steps out of the bathroom. Dean just smiles at his aunt and goes into the room to change. Ellen then heads to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for all of them. It's usual for Naomi to have her morning Yoga session with friends in the neighborhood and Zachariah to sleep in after spending half of his night working in his study.

Michael sleeps in too since he came home in the wee hours. Ellen gathers that the family will all meet during lunch and she feels sorry for Castiel suddenly. If the boy behaves strangely, its probably because of the situation in his household. Everyone does their own thing, they have no time for each other. Ellen sighs and berates herself for her prying mind. Its none of her business what they do with their lives, she should be grateful instead for what they've done for her. 

"Aunt, I'm ready." says Dean quietly after he saw that Castiel had left with the boat. He didn't even have time to apologize to his friend for breaking their plan. 

"Come have breakfast first, Dean." she offers with a smile that Dean reciprocates readily though his heart sank at the thought of missing the little fishing trip with his new friend. Castiel might not want to speak to him again and it depresses him further that he tries hard to keep it from his aunt. 

"What's the matter, sweetie? Are you unwell?" asks Ellen with worry but Dean shakes his head.

"No, aunt. I'm just hungry that's all." he lies and then feeds himself a mouthful of cornflakes.

Castiel stops the engine when he's satisfied that the boat is far from home. He reluctantly opens the sandwich wrap to eat his breakfast but finds that he has no appetite after all. He puts it away and starts preparing his fishing gear. The wriggling worm makes him smile a little that his thought goes straight to Dean. He wonders if the blonde is the squeamish type, it must be hilarious if he is that Castiel laughs harder at his own imagination.

Dean's reticent turns to awe as he takes in the hustle and bustle of the supermarket. It's so different here from New York. The shops are more vibrant and the people seem much happier than the ones back home. Both Ellen and Dean caught up in the excitement of shopping and bargaining with the grocers that soon enough his sadness left him. Ellen bought enough groceries for a week with the money that Naomi gave the night before. She hopes that they're enough to feed four adults and two teenagers. 

"Do you want to get anything for yourself or Castiel? I brought some money from your welfare, Dean." offers Ellen as she fishes the notes from her purse.

Dean's face light up at her words that he instantly agrees. Ellen gives him three ten dollar notes and he ran into a bookshop. She thought that her nephew's getting new books but instead he showed her a box of oil painting supplies for beginners. 

"Castiel likes to paint?" she asks curiously and Dean shakes his head. "I don't know... but I want this to be our hobby together, what do you think, Aunt?" he asks eagerly that she can't help but grins.

"I think its a great idea, sweetheart.."


	6. Chapter 6

Ellen and Dean head to the kitchen as soon as they got back. They found that Naomi's still out while both Zachariah and Michael are still fast asleep in their rooms. Dean excuses himself from his aunt to check on Castiel at the dock but the brunette's not there. He feels guilty but hopeful for Cas to forgive him later. He walks back dejectedly to the kitchen to help his aunt cook lunch for everyone, welcoming the distraction from worrying about his new friend. 

Castiel frowns as he stares at the wriggling bait. "Not a single fish bites you!" he grumbles to the worm or more actually to himself. The boy who prides himself for his special ability in catching at least one fish, now sulks like the whole world is against him. It's all Dean's fault..his mind speaks but he quickly berates himself for thinking such.

The grumbling in his empty stomach is louder than his thoughts at that moment that he reluctantly starts the engine and steers the boat home. He wonders if Dean's still at the market having a good time with his aunt. He regrets not going with them when Ellen asked him earlier. Cas huffs as he increases the speed of the boat to reach faster.

Dean drops the bowl of potatoes into the sink as soon as he hears the unmistakable sound of loud engine from the canal. "He's back! I'll go to him first, aunt and come back here! I promise!" he shouts while running out of the kitchen to the back of the house. 

"Cas!" he shouts louder at the boy who rushes to dock his boat upon hearing his name being called. Cas ties the rope on the dock in record time for he can't wait to be with his friend. All of his doubts about Dean's intention left him instantly when they met face to face. Their face flush with happiness as they look at each other. Both start to talk at the same time that they laugh before Cas tells Dean to go ahead.

"I'm sorry for this snafu, Cas. I totally forgot that I promised my aunt to go to the market with her this morning! I wanted to tell you but it's too early to wake you up!" explains Dean though he has to lie a little for both his aunt and Cas' sake. He's ready to take the blame for either of them that this clarity surprise him immensely. He barely knows Castiel but he refuse to hurt him too. He hates to see Cas sad.

"Oh Dean, it's okay! I was a little upset but I know you have a very good reason! It's all forgotten now. What did you buy from the markets?" asks Castiel swiftly changing the subject. Dean grins like a cat as he pulls the boy into the house. "Come! I have something to show you!"

Cas can't help but chuckles at his friend's enthusiasm and when Dean shows him the new painting supplies, his laughter stops. "You bought these for us? It's really nice of you, Dean! I can't paint for the life of me but I always wanted to try! Maybe we can do it now in my room?" asks Cas excitedly but Dean takes the sets away and says,"Not now, Da Vinci! I have to help my aunt prepare lunch for all of us, maybe you could help us too?" 

Cas beams at the invitation. He wants to learn how to cook too but never got the chance since his mother thought that it will be a waste of his time. "Count me in, Dean!" he replies but barely ten minutes he's in the kitchen, happily chopping the carrots, Naomi comes home and pulls him away by force when he protests.

"What are you doing, mom? I'm helping Dean and Aunt Ellen cook lunch!" explains Cas, baffled at his mother's behavior.

"I'm supposed to ask you that, Castiel!" retorts Naomi but her son responds,"What do you mean?!" Naomi huffs and pulls the boy upstairs to his room. Castiel tries to pry himself away from his mother's strong grip but fails. 

Naomi shut his door as soon as they entered his bedroom. With harsh whisper, she says,"You are my son. They are my guests and at the same time, my employee. I don't want you to interfere with their duties here, understood? I've already arranged for a piano tutor to come in an hour so I suggest that you wash up and ready for him!" 

Castiel's eyes widened at his mother's comment that he replies in rage,"IT'S MY SUMMER VACATION, MOTHER! HOW COULD YOU?!" 

Naomi clams his mouth shut with her palm that he began to protests some more. "Hush!!! You don't want them to hear our family's conversation, Castiel!! Keep it private!!" scolds Naomi that Cas has no choice but to bit her hand. She yelps and almost slaps her son who stares back at her, challenging her to go ahead without words but she doesn't. 

Naomi takes a deep breathe and says,"You must learn how to separate yourself from them, Castiel. I allow you to play with Dean when your schedule permits but in no way, you will both get familiar with each other, do you hear me?" 

Cas snorts."And I thought Ellen is your best friend, mother." he quips sarcastically that Naomi sighs tiredly.

"You don't know the extent of our friendship, so please don't try to lecture me on it. Without my help, those two won't have anywhere else to go. And if you insist on defying my rules, Castiel, I will send them back to New York right away. Is that you want?" she threatens and was happy to see the fear in her son's big blue eyes at what she just said.

"No, please, don't do that! Dean's my friend and I will bide by your rules, mother! Please, don't!" he almost begs that Naomi breaks into a warm smile.

"That's my boy. Listen to me and your life will be blessed. By the way, you missed your morning prayers, don't think that I didn't notice, child." 


	7. Chapter 7

"Aunt, is Cas in trouble for helping us?"asks Dean, his voice laced with concern. Ellen shrugs lightly and walks towards her nephew sitting at the island. "I don't know, Dean, but let's not talk about it now. Naomi may not appreciate it if she hears us."

Dean nods sadly and continues chopping the abandoned carrots. Cas was having so much fun with them just now that he even offered to take up the rest of Dean's simple tasks in the kitchen. Dean can't stop worrying about his friend who's obviously being punished by his mother. Ellen cards his long blonde bangs and kisses his forehead lovingly. 

"Don't worry about it too much, sweetheart. I'm sure it's nothing, talk to him later after lunch...alright?" she assures, smiling softly at him and he rewards her with a small smile. His aunt's soothing words always calm his heart and mind.

Zachariah is passing the hallway when he hears his wife's and son's voice talking in the latter's room. It's not an unusual thing for those two to argue but Zachariah doesn't like it when there're guests in the house. So he opens Cas' door and asks what's going on.

Naomi shuts the door behind him impatiently and fills him with all the details. Zachariah sighs exasperatedly before she could finish. Castiel watches his parents warily because this could either end up in a fight or more punishments for him from his mother. He doesn't want either and prays that his father could talk some sense into his mother's mind. 

"My dear, why don't you just let him be. Our son was just excited to have them here and I don't see the problem if he wants to help!" reasons Zachariah that Naomi huffs at him.

"I just don't want Cas to get too familiar with them. There're boundaries! Ellen is my friend but she's also working for us while staying in our house! My son is not made for the kitchen, Zack! He has other important things to do this summer!" protests Naomi heatedly that her husband shakes his head in disbelief.

"Naomi! I thought that we agreed to postpone his lessons? Our son had worked so hard giving us good grades in school! What more do you want from him, huh? And now that Dean's here, they could enjoy this summer vacation together! They both certainly deserved it, Naomi! Stop this stupid arrogance now!" attacks Zachariah, without bordering to control his displeasure anymore for his wife's turning into a shrewd like his late mother in law!

He still remembers the day they eloped. Naomi had begged him to marry her without the knowledge of her uptight, God fearing parents. And he did just that but as the years gone by, she ceased seeing him as her savior and becomes more tyrannical. Zack hates her incessant nagging that he buries himself with work and travel abroad on business but he worries about Castiel constantly. If not for the winsome child, Zachariah would have left Naomi a long time ago. 

Zachariah's aware of Dean's plight and he knows that the poor kid will benefit a lot from befriending Castiel. His younger son is much more mature than his twenty year old brother, Michael and Zachariah is very proud of him. 

"Well, too late. I've already arranged for his piano, language and religious tutors for all these three months, husband!" jeers Naomi with satisfaction that Zachariah raises both his hand in surrender. He looks at his son who's refraining himself from arguing with his mother. Castiel's patience in dealing with his mother sometimes, amazes him that he turns to Naomi and warns,"Whatever punishments you're giving our son, make sure that he gets to enjoy his free time in between too. If you deprive him of his happiness further, Naomi, I will send him away to a boarding school and you'll never hear from him again." 

His words frightens her. Without Castiel, her life's meaningless. She can't rely on her cheating husband or her wayward son Michael. Castiel is the Sun that brightens her soul. She wanted him be a Priest. No girlfriend, no wife, no children. Castiel will dedicate his entire life only to God and her, his mother. 

"I hear you, husband." replies Naomi quietly and then says to her son."Wash up Castiel, I believe that's your piano tutor at the door. I'll go get him." with that she walks out, leaving her family in that room.

"Are you really going to send me to boarding school, dad?" asks Castiel worriedly. He doesn't want that to happen, in fact he wants to go to school in Los Angeles, preferably with Dean too instead of going back to his private school in New York in September. He struggles for the right words to say but somehow Zachariah could read his mind.

"You want to go to school here, Cas? Like your brother?" asks his father and Cas nods eagerly with hope apparent on his innocent face.

Zachariah smiles and says,"Let me think and discuss this with your mother first, alright?" Cas grins and hugs his father tight. Zachariah chuckles as he plants a loving kiss on his son's head.  

"Thank you, daddy." 

Dean smiles as Castiel plays the piano beautifully in the recreation room. His tutor is kind and patient that Dean feels happy for his friend. Lunch is an hour away and Dean can't wait to sit next to him at the dining table. At least he knows that's the only place that Naomi can't control her family.  


	8. Chapter 8

The boys laugh hysterically when Cas shows Dean his painting. The freckles on Dean's face are so huge that they look like pork marks! "Why do you make me so ugly, Cas!! I hate my freckles and you added so many!!"

Castiel laughs and apologize to him at the same time. "Why do you hate your freckles? I think they're adorable like the cartoon kid on the Mad Magazine game!" he teases that Dean smacks his head playfully with the painting.

"OH NO!!!" exclaims Dean when some paint smeared Castiel's dark hair. "WHAT?!!" shouts Castiel, still laughing away as he pats his head and feels the wet oil paint. "ARGGGHHHH!! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, FRECKLES!!" warned Castiel as he chased Dean around with the large paint brush in his hand.

And thus began their loud crazy antics, running around the large room. Colored paints smeared everywhere but they didn't seem to care, lost in their own blissful joy and happiness.

Zachariah hears the children's happy voices and smiles to himself for Castiel's happiness is his too but not for his wife, who's seething in rage every second listening to their shenanigans.

Ellen loads the dirty dishes in the dishwasher while Naomi waits impatiently for her to finish after the rest gone to do their own things. Michael to town meeting his friends again, Zachariah in his study while Dean and Cas in the recreation room painting. Their loud laughter reverberates to the kitchen that Naomi wished she could tell them to be quiet but afraid her husband might reproach her again.

It annoys her when Castiel behaves unseemly, especially around Dean because that's all he does since the blonde came. In her opinion there're better ways for her son to express his joy, like playing the piano or reading the books or even fishing in his favorite little boat! 

"What is it, Mimi?" asks Ellen gently as she sits opposite her friend. Naomi unfolds her arms on the table and reaches out for Ellen's hand.

"Look, Ellen. I'm glad that you're here and working for me but there's something I need to address." Naomi begins cryptically. She has to choose her words carefully because Ellen isn't her family. Only they could see the real her but not her guests and she regrets her outburst that morning. Naomi promises to herself that she won't repeat such mistake again, its totally embarrassing to let someone like Ellen to watch her unravel. "It's about the boys. More my son, Castiel actually."

"Why.... are you worried about him? Is it because of his friendship with Dean?" ponders Ellen and Naomi exhales heavily.

"Yes." she replies.

"Why? What has Dean done to him?" a frowning Ellen inquires further. As far as she's concern, the boys are having a good time together and it lifts her heart to know that. Dean's suffered so much and Cas is a welcome change in his young dreadful life. Ellen could see that it works for Naomi's younger son too but it seems to be an issue now. The kids hadn't done anything wrong or cause any harm to themselves or anyone so far.

"He's done nothing wrong, Ellen, it's just that Castiel is ignorant about your nephew's ungodly predicament and I prefer it to stay that way. Please... I need you to tell Dean not to share his problems with Castiel. He's too pure." implores Naomi that Ellen's taken aback by her friend's tactlessness.

She stands up and with forced calm, she states,"Look, Naomi. I'm sure there's a temporary shelter for us here in Los Angeles so don't worry, I will not burden you with our unwanted presence anymore. Thank you for your help though, I will repay your kindness as soon as possible, I promise." And with that statement, Ellen calls out to Dean but Naomi held her fast before she leaves the kitchen.

"I'm sorry! You misunderstood me, Ellen! You're both not a burden, far from it! I am happy that you're here but I need you to understand how protective I am of Castiel. He's the only good thing in my life right now, Ellen, he's everything to me like Dean is to you. I don't mind their friendship, I don't, I'm really sorry about what I said earlier!" explains Naomi frantically.

"Forget about your son. Tell me how you feel about my nephew. Are you disgusted with him, Naomi?" demands Ellen seriously that Naomi shakes her head vehemently.

"Of course not, Ellen! I feel terrible for what he's gone through and I hope that the devil John will rot in the hottest hell for all his sins!" curses Naomi lividly. 

Ellen stares at her friend, bewildered. Naomi's different from what she remembered. Carefully, she says,"I wish that for my brother too, all the time. But don't worry, I understand your fear. Rest assured, Dean will never confide in your son, Naomi, ever."


	9. Chapter 9

Ellen dries her nephew's wet hair with a towel and sighs tiredly. "We have to be more careful, sweetie. This isn't our home so we must not do as we please. Thank God that Naomi didn't see what you boys had done because I can't imagine her anger, Dean." 

She's thankful though for Zachariah who acted fast by calling his wife to his study before she enters the messy recreation room. The couple spent a considerable amount of time together that Ellen and the kids managed to clean the place in record time.

"I'm sorry, aunt. I promise it won't happen again." mutters Dean softly. Ellen kisses his forehead and smiles. "I know it won't...but did you guys had fun?" 

Dean smiles widely at her and nods eagerly. "Cas is great! He's not afraid to try new things but his mother won't let him. She's too strict with him...but not with Michael..it's so unfair...I'm glad that you're not like her aunt.." confesses Dean genuinely.

Ellen hugs him and says,"Naomi loves her sons, Dean. She just have a different way of showing it. Come, let's get you in bed. You must be very tired helping me since morning."

"You're tired too, aunt. What shall we make for their breakfast tomorrow?" asks Dean innocently.

"What would You like to have?" she returns the question cheekily that Dean chuckles softly at her. 

"Pancakes with strawberries...? They're Castiel's favorite too.." he replies that Ellen nods happily while tucking him in bed.

"Then pancakes it is! Sleep well, my love..." she whispers and kisses Dean's cheeks before settling in her own bed. The blonde dozes off right away that she can't help but smile hearing his soft snores.

She forgets to tell Dean about Naomi's warning earlier and reminds herself to do so the next day but then they got so busy cooking that she totally forgot about it again. And that same day too, Dean confided with Castiel all his sufferings.

Castiel comforts his desolated friend by holding his hand in his. The brunette mutters silent prayers to himself before saying,"Dean..please don't be sad because you're here now, with me and your aunt. We care for you and we will make you very happy and forget about your pain. In time all of those horrible things become a distant memory in your head. You will make new memories here, Dean.." 

At last, Dean smiles at him amidst his tears that Cas has an idea. "Come on...let's hit town before my mom gets back from her book club meeting in Beverly Hills." bursts Castiel suddenly as he pulls Dean up. They rushes inside to ask Ellen's permission to leave.

"Dean? Are you alright sweetheart?" she worries upon seeing his red eyes but the boy hastily nods. "Smoke gets in his eyes, Aunt Ellen." Cas replies instead that they all laughed at the song quote.

The boys enjoy their little freedom immensely that afternoon. Dean buys more blank canvas for their painting and Cas treats Dean to waffles with ice cream at his favorite spot. 

"Dean...I asked my dad if I can go to school here with you. He told me that he'll talk to my mom first about it. Please pray for me that I get my wish Dean." pleads Castiel with hope laced his voice.

Dean nods eagerly but then shakes his head right after. "What's wrong? You don't want me to go school with you?" asks Cas anxiously.

"No! I want you to, Cas! You must! You're my only friend that I can trust. It's just that...uh...." Dean smacks his lips nervously, trying to find the right word to say to his friend without insulting him. 

"What is it, Dean? You can tell me anything.." Cas encourages him that Dean shyly confess that he doesn't know how to pray.

Castiel chuckles softly and says,"You silly goose! Just clasps your hand together like this.." he brings Dean's hand together to his chest,"And then shut your eyes and say,"Dear God in heaven, I pray that you'll grant my dearest friend Castiel all his wishes and make them come true. Amen." 

Dean can't help but laughs but the brunette insists that he repeats his every word. Dean did and they both said Amen in unison.

"All wishes, Cas? What are they?" Dean inquires curiously and Castiel grins at him.

"That's for me to know and You to find out!" exclaims Cas knowingly but Dean force it out of him by tackling him right there at the dessert parlor. The other patrons shake their heads in disbelief at their demeanor.

"OKAY!! I SURRENDER! I SURRENDER!!" shouts Cas, laughing hysterically as he pushes himself up to sit on the stool again. He clears his throat and slurp his chocolate shake before turning to Dean. 

With a calm voice he confesses, "I wish that everything in regards with you...will come true."  


	10. Chapter 10

That night before Zachariah leaves for his office in New York, Cas asks him again about his school transfer. Zachariah apologizes saying that he forgot and that will try again next time.

"But how can you forget, dad? You were both in there for so long?" asks Castiel, baffled. His parents spent more than two hours together for sure they at least talked about his intention? 

Zachariah turns and pours himself a glass of whiskey. How can he tell his twelve year old son that he was screwing his mother to take her attention away from the messy recreation room?

"Look, there's no hurry alright, buddy? There're still two months more, enough time for us to discuss and agree. Don't worry about that Castiel. She's not been on your case right, has she?" assures Zachariah and Cas only nods weakly.

"When will you be back, daddy?" asks Cas and Zachariah crouches before him.

"Two weeks. I will try to finish my work there and return before that. I promise, kiddo." pledges Zachariah gently and Cas nods again. The man is about to leave the room when Cas pulls his father's hand.

"Dad! Sorry! Before you go, I need to ask you something." whispers Cas urgently and Zachariah says,"Ask away, son, what is it?" he asks anxiously looking at his watch at the same time. The taxi has been waiting for him outside since ten minutes ago.

Cas clears his throat and says nervously. "Will Dean's father be released from prison again? Can you help me check his situation, dad?"

Zachariah sighs in frustration when he assumed that Naomi must have told their son about Dean's rape. He thought that they already made a pact to keep this a secret from their children for the poor blonde's sake. 

"I'm sorry if you can't! It's okay daddy!" adds Cas urgently when he sees his father's mood change. His young mind thought that his father's mad at him for stalling him about such things.

"It's not that, Cas. I will check on him, I promise." he kisses his son and bids him good bye. Cas waves at his father who scowls at his mother on his way out. Naomi turns to stare at her younger son while Michael who just got home, saunters into the office and flicks his brother's ear hard. Dean flinches as he watches them from the hallway.

"IT HURTS MORON!" shouts Cas at his brother. "You're drunk like a skunk!!" he adds that Naomi glares at her older son next. 

"Go to your room, Michael!" she seethes with rage. "Watch your back, weirdos!" Michael hisses at both Cas and Dean before running upstairs to his room.

"What were you and your father talked about in there?" asks Naomi but Cas shakes his head and says,"Nothing, mom. Just school stuffs."

Naomi looks at him skeptically."Your Bible tutor is coming at six tomorrow morning. Pray before he arrives, understood? Go to bed." she orders sternly and walks away without acknowledging Dean who looks helplessly at his friend. 

It seems that their fishing trip plan has to take a backseat again.

"I'm sorry, Dean..." he confesses sadly but Dean gives him a reassuring pat and smile.

"No worries, Cas. There're plenty of mornings for us to fish. We just have to be patient, I guess?"

Castiel smiles at his words and nods. "Good night, Dean...I'll see you in the afternoon.."


	11. Chapter 11

Dean watches his aunt loading the washed clothes in the dryer in the basement. Ellen's been doing chores since breakfast that morning and he feels bad for her. He wants to help but she had refused him kindly.

"Aunt? Are you not done yet? It's late, you should rest..." says Dean and Ellen smiles at him.

"I've a few more rounds of laundry to do sweetheart. Why don't you sleep now for your fishing trip with Cas tomorrow?" she reminds. Dean bit his lips and tells her that their plan's canceled because of his friend's religious tuition. 

Ellen feels bad for her nephew and mutters softly,"Oh..Dean..I'm so sorry sweetheart. You're both so excited about this.."

Dean shrugs and gives her a forced smile. "There are other mornings, Aunt...I can wait for Castiel. He wants to go to the public school here with me and he already asked his dad's permission. I'm praying that Mr Novak will grant his wish."

Ellen smiles wider at his statement. "You pray, baby?" she asks in amazement that Dean blushes and says yes.

"Cas taught me how. He also told me to pray whenever I have those nightmares, Aunt." Dean's confession causes his aunt to drop the basket in her hand and runs to him.

"Dean! Did you tell Cas about your problems, sweetheart?!" she asks alarmingly, while berating her forgetfulness to remind her nephew.

"...you mean...a..about the rape, Aunt?" stammers Dean upon seeing his aunt's panic state. Ellen realize the effect she has on the boy, quickly calms herself down and says,"Yes, my love. Did you?"

Dean nods lightly as he watches his Aunt covers her opened mouth with her hands and began pacing the basement floor nervously.

She worries him so much that he hastily asks what's wrong. Ellen stops and turns to him. Her hands now worrying the seams of her apron as she walks slowly to him.

"I'm so sorry Dean...I forgot to remind you not to tell Castiel about your past, Dean. It's his mother's request." she confesses and Dean's about to ask why but then realizes that it doesn't matter for he understands who he is in Naomi's eyes. The poor boy who's raped by his own father and of course her perfect son shouldn't be around someone like him. Dean should be grateful that Naomi still allows them to be friends.

So he says sadly his aunt,"I'm sorry, Aunt. I didn't mean to share with him my troubles. It won't happen anymore, I promise." 

Ellen hugs him and kisses his forehead. Tears sprang in her blue eyes but she manages a smile."I know baby...go to sleep now.."

Naomi has just steps out of her bathroom when Zachariah calls. Her husband lectures furiously at her for sharing Dean's rape with their younger son, Castiel but just when she's about to defend herself, he cuts off the line. Naomi fumes as she puts on her bathrobe and dashes downstairs to look for Ellen. 

"Ellen!!! Open up!!" she yells at the top of her lungs but it was Dean who answers the door.

"Mrs Novak?" he mutters sleepily, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand.

"Where's Ellen?" asks Naomi impatiently and the blonde informs her that his aunt is in the laundry room. Two doors open simultaneously upstairs, and out came, Castiel and Michael. They're rudely awoken by their mother's loud banging and voice in the middle of the night.

"Go back to bed, nerd. There's nothing to see here!" Michael mocks and pushes his brother back to his room. Castiel wants to protest but he's no match for his bigger older brother. He worries about Dean and Ellen as he presses his ear against the door, hoping to hear something. But there's nothing so he goes back to bed. Maybe his mother wants to gossip with Ellen about his father. But Cas knows that Dean's aunt has no time for such idle nonsense. The brunette wishes that Ellen's his mom instead because she truly cares. 

He walks back slowly to his bed and fell asleep almost immediately, dreaming about his fun day with Dean.

Michael hears the commotion downstairs in the basement and decides to eavesdrop. His mother's berating Ellen about something, their servant's voice soft trying to explain the situation.

"Mimi, please listen to me. It's not Dean's fault. I forgot to remind him because I've been too busy. Please don't hate my nephew, he cares for your son and didn't mean him any harm. He didn't ask to be rape by his own father, Mimi. He's a victim and Cas is a good friend and a good listener to Dean. You don't have to worry for your son is very mature for his age. Do you know that he taught Dean to pray too Mimi?...and I'm grateful for the both of you too." confides Ellen truthfully, even though Naomi's surly and arrogant, her son seems to turn out pretty well. 

Michael listens with deep interest. The blonde's screwed...literally! By his own father!! he almost breaks into sinister laughter at the thought. He intends to use this sinful knowledge when the opportunity arises. Michael has always been suspicious of his so called pious younger brother Castiel, wonders if Dean's predicament somehow turns him on. There's only one way to find out, he smirks and heads back to his room undetected.

Naomi doesn't know how to respond to her friend's words. She's torn because Ellen had praised her precious son highly but she's still not happy with the boys closeness.

"Just don't repeat this again next time, Ellen. My husband's losing interest in me and if not for Castiel, we've already gotten a divorce. God forbids! My son is everything to me and I won't let him live his life without his father. I'm sure you'd understand. Good night." with that, Naomi turns her heels and goes back to her room. She needs to chat on the phone with her dearest friend, Mary in Beverly Hills, who's recently divorced by her rich husband.


	12. Chapter 12

Weeks go by and Castiel still not getting any answer from his father regarding his school transfer. He's getting restless daily till one day he braves himself to ask his mother, instead.

Naomi, of course, would not entertain him. Her harsh replies were, "Don't be absurd Castiel! The prep school you went to is the most prestigious in the whole of New York. Every boy in States wants to get in and here you are, selected unanimously by the esteemed priests themselves, wanted to bail out! I won't hear any of this stupid, nonsense request again, do you hear me?!!"

Castiel tries to reason but she stops him from saying anything further. "ENOUGH CASTIEL! Public School?! With Dean?!! HUH! I will die before you even think of stepping your foot on those filthy institutions!" remarks Naomi with distaste before leaving her son in the recreation room when she hears the car honks outside. Mary's there to fetch her to lunch.

Dean hides as she passes the hallway. He has been listening to their conversation secretly behind the wall that his heart went out to his friend who truly wants to be close to him. 

"Cas? Are you okay?" asks Dean and Cas gives him a weak smile.

"Did you hear her, Dean? I'm so sorry.." Cas voices his regret but Dean slaps his shoulder lightly.

"Stop moping will you?! There's still many days for us to spend this summer together plus I'm staying here for good and you can come back every holidays too!" exclaims Dean excitedly that Cas begins to smile. 

"Yeah..you're right. You will still be here...but will you still be my friend, Dean when you make new ones later? I don't have many friends at my school.." confess Cas sadly and Dean pulls his gaze with his. 

"Cas..you're the silliest goose I've ever met, do you know that?" mocks Dean that the brunette can't help but smile at him.

"There's no one in this world like you. You're my friend till the end of time. Always remember that, okay? Now, shall we hit the beach? I've been here for two months and you have not taken me to the famous beach! How dare you Castiel James Novak!" scolds Dean as he playfully swats Cas with the towel in his hand. Cas yelps and apologizes hurriedly.

"Alright!! Alright! Sorry!! Stop it!!" laughs Cas as he adds,"Lets take the bike before my mom comes home!"

Michael watches the boys and turns to Ellen. "Doesn't it bother you that they're so close, Ellen?" he asks the woman who's busy cleaning the fridge.

"No, why, Michael?" she asks him back. 

"Nothing. It's just that Dean has a history? I mean...well...I don't mean to be mean but uh..he could turn out gay? And they might end up together? And it's disgusting?" provokes Michael with a raised eyebrow.

Ellen takes a much needed breath before responding to him. Without looking she replies him,"If they ever do, I don't see anything wrong with that Michael because it's their choice, who they date, love or marry. I will be happy for them every step of the way." 

Michael breaks into a harsh laughter and says,"Wow! If my mother ever hears that, she will kick both of you out without mercy, Ellen..ah! but don't your worry! Your dirty little wish will be safe with me. I swear!" 

Ellen shakes her head in disbelief after he left. Truth was, she's been wondering about that too. Cas and Dean are so close that they might end up falling in love with each other one day. She abruptly stop her train of thoughts because it's ridiculous to assume the minds of the young boys. They would love each other like brothers, yes..that will be the most logical thing since Castiel being groomed to become a priest. How can he go against the religion he truly believes in? 

The loud peals of laughter coming from the outside startles her that she runs to the window. There she saw the boys waving and blowing kisses at her before heading towards the beach on that single bike. Dean's cycling with Cas leaning so close from behind. 


	13. Chapter 13

The beach is packed with sunbathers so the boys rush for a spot to settle. The hot afternoon sun reflecting off the clear blue sea made it shine like diamonds that Dean who's never seen the beach in his life, is completely enthralled.

"Wow..." he admires staring at the breathtaking sight before him. Cas chuckles at him as he lay their beach towels next to each other. "I guess you've never seen a beach before, huh?" he asks with a grin. Dean shakes his head and replies,"I live in the heart of the city of New York, ..remember?" Cas laughs again and offers Dean to sit on the towel next to him. The boys remove their shirts and apply sunscreen lotion on their bodies.

"But do you know how to swim, Dean?" asks Cas worriedly because if he doesn't then its dangerous for Dean to get into the water.

"I don't but I'm a fast learner, Cas! Why don't you teach me?"asks Dean eagerly. Cas nods and says,"Yes, of course, Dean...come before it gets too crowded." He gets up and pulls Dean's hand and heads to the ocean.

They played at the edge for a bit before getting into the water. Dean's having fun but his "coach" is too tense for his liking. "Cas! Relax! I will be fine cause you're close to me!" he shouts amidst the loud laughter of other swimmers around them.

"Okay!" Cas responds but he never lets go of Dean's hand as they got deeper into the water. Dean splashes his face with his free hand, making the brunette splutters.

"Dean! Be serious, please! This isn't a game! If you wanna play, we should get back close to the shore!" scolds Cas lightly but Dean only laughs harder and keeps splashing water at his face.

"DEAN!" scolds Cas louder that the blonde pulls away. "Look! My feet could touch the sand, Cas! So don't worry, I won't drown! Not on your watch obviously!" 

His action worries Cas who quickly tries to grab hold of his hands again but Dean moves away and submerges himself in the water. When he fails to reappear Cas panics and swims underneath but then the blonde emerges back to the surface, laughing away at him.

"NOT FUNNY DEAN!!" Cas yells furiously. "I'm sorry! Cas! I was just messing with you! Lighten up!" chuckles Dean, wiping his face off the excess water.

Cas is too angry to respond, so he swims back to the shore. "HEY! Where're you going, Cas?!!" shouts Dean but the brunette keeps on going.

"FINE! I learn to swim on my own!" he yells after Castiel who turns to shake his head at him. "Come out, Dean! I will take you to the pool where there's a lifeguard. You can learn to swim there!" Cas shouts his suggestion that other people are looking at them now. Few boys laugh at Dean upon hearing his words that the blonde gets so mad, he swims further into the sea. Cas watches in horror and jumps back in to get his foolish friend. 

"DEAN!!!" Cas yells out his name every chance he gets to the surface of the water but Dean's nowhere to be seen. His fear amplifies at the thought of Dean drowning that he swims much faster.

Dean doesn't realize how far he swam but when his feet fail to touch the sand, he starts to panic and struggle to get to the surface as his whole being sucked into the water. He tries to reach the surface but the force is too strong. Dean cries into the ocean in fear and then suddenly he felt someone grabs and pulls him up fast. The unfamiliar voice tells him to stay calm as they swim back to the shore. 

Cas saw the two figures far ahead of him and hastily swims to them. "DEAN!!" he shouts but the boy who's pulling Dean signals to the shore.

Dean's revived by his savior, a tall, long haired kid named Samuel Wesson. Cas introduces himself and Dean and then thanks him before lecturing Dean as soon as he asked about his condition. Sam smiles and says,"He's lucky I was there cause I was suppose to leave an hour ago."

Cas looks at him and then turns back to Dean who's coughing away. "Did you hear that, Dean? You could've drowned, you silly goose!"

Sam laughs at his remark that the boys can't help laughing along with him though Dean's still gasping.

"Hey...are you guys gonna get back to the water? Or we could grab a burger over there?" Sam suggests merrily. The kid looks happy even when he just saves this silly soul from the sea, Cas thought. He then turns to Dean who smiles sheepishly. "I'm hungry, Cas." 

Cas smiles and ruffles his hair playfully before saying okay to Sam. He then grabs the bike and the three of them walk across the beach to the old shack.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost drowned once so I tried to recall the incident and write it down. Hope that its convincing lol!


	14. Chapter 14

The boys are having so much fun in one another's company that they soon find out that Sammy is the son of Naomi's close friend, Mary Wesson.  

"Did you know that our moms are having lunch too right now?" asks Cas and Sam nods. 

"Yup! They're probably talking about my family situation. My parents got divorced recently and they're selling our house in Beverly Hills." informs Sam sadly that his new friends look at each other in silence.

"But my Mama told me that we're moving to your neighborhood!" he adds with a huge grin.

"We're gonna be neighbors?" exclaims Cas and Dean in unison. They're enthusiastic to hear the news for Sam is bubbly, funny and a perfect addition to their tiny circle. 

"Yes! And I can't wait cause most of the kids in Beverly Hills are snooty and pretentious. People are more relax and easy going here. My mama told me that there's a small cottage for sale right next to yours, Cas. Is that true?" Sam inquires with high hope.

"There is but old Mr Singer lives there. I didn't know that he's selling the house though...he didn't tell me ...no wonder I've not seen him around..I wonder why?" mutters Cas almost to himself that had both Dean and Sam chuckling at him.

"What so funny?" demands Cas as he throws the crumpled burger wrap at them playfully. They laugh harder when Dean adds,"Sammy, Cas here likes to talk to himself sometimes, so please don't be alarm." 

Cas grabs the ketchup bottle and squirts it's content on Dean's white shirt. The blonde screams and Sam avengers him by squirting some mayo on Cas' black shirt next. Thus began the crazy cat and mouse game in the diner that the manager chases them out with a mop.

In less than a week, Sam and his mother, Mary moves to the quaint blue cottage next door. The boys are beside themselves with happiness that at last they celebrated their friendship on Cas' small boat, fishing in the canal. Ellen likes Mary, who's a painter and a sculptor. The blonde woman works from her little studio at home where Ellen, Dean and Cas are constant visitors. Naomi's not too pleased at first, a little jealous with the attention Mary gets but she's being called back to New York to work. So there's no real time for her to sulk but give endless warnings to her younger son, Castiel to behave and reminding Ellen to watch him like a hawk.

"Zachariah is in Japan now and he'll be back in a week. Michael's going to Palm Spring tomorrow to spend the rest of his summer vacation there with his friends and I don't know how long they need me in New York. So Ellen, I'm counting on you to watch over Castiel, make sure he didn't miss any of his lessons and morning prayers. Do I have your word, friend?" asks Naomi seriously. Ellen almost laugh seeing her friend's panic face. 

"Naomi, I've been doing that for a while now, so you can trust me. Call me whenever to make your mind at peace." offers Ellen gently and Naomi sighs heavily. "Thank you! Oh! I hate to leave my son alone!" 

"Castiel is not alone, Naomi. He has me, Mary, Sam and Dean!" reminds Ellen instantly that Naomi listens to her at last. She left that evening in a cab to the airport. 

Castiel has never looked so happy in Ellen's opinion.


	15. Chapter 15

Castiel enjoys his freedom like a prisoner escapes the death penalty. He plans the activities for the following days sans his mother with his friends. Ellen advises him to take it easy, since he has to wake up very early, every morning for his prayers. 

"You will get sick, sweetie...please don't tire yourself. You know you can have fun at home too....make a mess, I don't care and I will help you guys clean up." Ellen assures gently that Cas hugs her tight. She's already like a mother to all the three boys and she embraces the role wholeheartedly.

Mary's existence adds more happiness to her. The blonde is sweet and she loves to bake. So both women took the opportunity to bond with each other just like their kids. Mary told her about her friendship with Naomi. They knew each other from mutual friends but Naomi trusted her more than the rest of them.

Ellen confesses that she felt the same way growing up with Naomi in the same household. Her friend maybe popular but she chose Ellen as her confidante. The conversation opens up a kind of understanding between the new friends and they're glad that Naomi brought them together.

Mary shares the story of her bitter divorce and Ellen confides about her failed marriage years ago. They both decided to involve the children with cooking lunch the next day. The boys got so excited that they all can't wait to help their mothers.

"Hey..is it okay for me to ask the reason you guys live together in the same house?" asks Sam, watching Dean paint in the recreation room.

The blonde turns to Cas for answer which he does, immediately. "My mom invited Aunt Ellen and Dean to stay here for the summer vacation but when she saw that Aunt Ellen's been a great help, she offers them to move in for good. It works for both my parents and myself because Dean's my best friend now, aren't you, Dean?" asks Cas cheekily that Dean pokes his nose with the paint brush. 

"NOT AGAIN!!" Cas groans when he sees the red paint on the tip of the brush. Dean laughs and says,"Relax! It's only water color!" and wipes the tip of Cas' nose clean with his thumb. Sam chuckles seeing their antics but he's not done with his questions.

"But what happened to your parents? Did you leave them in New York, Dean?"queried Sam curiously. Since he moved there, no one talks about Dean's folks like they talked about his and Castiel's.

"My mom died giving birth to me and my dad's a sailor. I don't get to see him much since his life's out there..somewhere." Dean lies and prays that Sam's satisfied with the answer. The long haired kid believes him and then went on to talk about the school that they'll go to in September. Cas watches Dean pretending to be upbeat about the new topic. Only he knows how the blonde feels inside when people ask him about his life. Dean shares everything with Cas who vows to keep his secret forever. 

Dean's mom did not die, she ran off with another man as soon as Dean's weaned off her breast milk, leaving John, Dean's father devastated. Unfortunately, Dean reminds John so much of his mother in looks and character that he punished Dean for her mistake. When he's mad, he would beat Dean up and when he yearned his missing wife, he would rape his son.

Cas can't imagine what will happen to Dean if Ellen doesn't exist. His love and respect for the very patient woman amplified as he looks at Dean. The blonde shares his aunt's temper except for his silliness like getting himself drowned the other time. Cas vows to himself never let Dean repeats anything stupidly dangerous like that ever again.

"Cas?!" yells Dean close to his face. Cas jolts from his reverie that the blonde laughs. "..Yeah?" he replies eloquently. Dean grins widely at him and says, "Your music tutor's here." 

"Oh...okay.." says Cas though he's sad to be separated from his friends for two hours. Dean catches his mood and asks,"Is it okay if Sam and I l watch you play the piano? I mean...if your tutor allow of course." 

Cas beams at his suggestion and quickly approaches the tutor from the other side of the recreation room. The nice man says why not, that Cas hurriedly calls out to his dear friends.

The boys did not only watch, the kind tutor taught them to play simple tunes too and the three boys end up sitting close playing the piano together. Life is so sweet without his mother around, thought Castiel in contentment.

That afternoon, the boys help Mary and Ellen in the kitchen and after that they all went to town for ice cream. Naomi calls Castiel whenever she could from New York and apologizes to him for not being able to spend the rest of his vacation since the agency needed her designs urgently for the fall look. Castiel wants to feel affected by it but he can't lie to himself. But then guilt overwhelms him at his mother's disappointment over his lackluster respond. It's hard being her son. He loves her but he can't stand her guts. 

Zachariah comes back that weekend and the boys are overjoyed with the presents he brought from Japan. They're strange but unique and they thanked the business man. "You must be Sammy. Cas told me about you over the phone." says Zachariah as Sammy stood to shake his hand.

"Woah! You're going to be a very tall lad, Sam Wesson!" praises Zachariah and Dean adds cheekily,"A Sasquatch! He's our Sasquatch!"

Sam sticks his tongue out at him but Zachariah catches him in the act and laughs. "I see you boys having fun...and that's how it should be but I need to catch up on my sleep so I hope you guys can keep it down a little?" asks Zachariah gently and the boys nod in agreement.

"Zack, welcome home...this is Mary Wesson, Sam's mother." Ellen introduces the two who stares at each other for a second before exchanging pleasantries. Ellen watches them with mild interest before heading back to the kitchen. 

"So..you are the talented friend that my wife raves about constantly. I didn't know that you're gonna be this beautiful, Mary.." whispers Zack when they're alone in his study.


	16. Chapter 16

Weeks pass with no signs of Naomi coming back to their vacation home. She's frustrated but too busy to lament her fate though she's relieved that Ellen proves to be a reliable caretaker for both her home and her child, Castiel. The boy never misses a single lesson and all his tutors commended him in high regards. Naomi has never been proud of her son and she thanked Ellen for keeping her promise.

And she's glad that her husband chose to spend the rest of the summer with Castiel instead of traveling on business. She thought that maybe Zachariah is making up for lost time with their son. Little does she know that her husband is courting her recently single friend, Mary and the only one who notices his changes was Ellen. But Ellen tries not to interfere, for all she knows, she might be imagining things between them, especially when Mary's not giving Zachariah any mixed signals even though the man's obviously into her.

Castiel receives two important news from his father finally. One good and the other bad. The good one was that Dean's father, John will be in prison for eight years. When he shares this happy news with Dean, the blonde immediately broke into tears. Cas wonders if they're happy or sad tears but he refrains himself from asking, only subdues him with kind words and encouragements. 

The bad news was he can't leave prep school in the next four years since his tuition was already paid for in advance and there's no refund. Cas suspects that his mother is behind this arrangements. He has to wait for the right moment to tell Dean this.

"I'm sorry son, but you have to go back to New York a week before school starts. Your mother wants you there now but I told her to let you enjoy your vacation for one more week." says Zachariah, regretfully looking at his son's sad face.

"Tell you what buddy..I will take you here myself whenever there's a long weekend holiday. I kind of like this place better without your mom around.." chuckles Zachariah softly that his son smiles at his traitorous words.

"Thanks dad...I will tell Dean. Promise you'll take me here again soon?" asks Cas with hope and his father crosses his heart, smiling. Zachariah kisses the top of his head, gives him a hundred dollars and then heads to town in his convertible. Cas looks at the crisps notes in his hand and puts in his pocket before looking for Dean in his room. Ellen's there too, folding the clean laundry. She smiles warmly at him but he finds it hard to return the gesture when his heart's breaking to small pieces. He's been looking forward to join Dean in his new school especially now that Sam too is going to the same institution. Ellen looks at him worriedly but says nothing. The kid was very happy for the past weeks since his mother gone and now it seems like someone's trampled that boy's joy again. 

Ellen watches Cas sits next to Dean in bed and then says softly,"Dean, I have bad news. This will be our last weekend together.." Cas makes a mistake looking at Dean when he didn't get a reply. The hurt in Dean's eyes mirrors the shattering in his young heart. The blonde brushes his tears angrily and says,"There's still a week, Cas! You don't have to be so dramatic!" 

"Dean!!" scolds Ellen from her own bed. "That's not a nice thing to say to Castiel! Apologize to him now." she demands but Dean refuses to listen to her or look at Cas who struggles to come up with a positive things to say to him. Dean's behavior is justifiable because Cas is the one at fault since he's failed to convince his parents to let him stay in Los Angeles. 

"Aunt Ellen..its alright...I understand why Dean's mad...because I'm mad at myself too.." explains Cas sadly as he tries to meet Dean's gaze. The blonde's too distraught to even talk to him that he excuses himself to play with Sam next door.

Cas watches him go without words that Ellen gets up and sits close to him. "I'm so sorry about this, Cas. I wish I could do something but I can't. About Dean...he didn't mean to be rude to you, sweetheart..he's just sad. That's how he handles his emotions sometimes. I hope you'll forgive him..." Ellen hugs him gently and kisses his temple. "I'm going to miss you so much...you're like my own son, Castiel."

"Where's Cas?" asks Sam as he grabs the remote and turns on the tv. The boys had planned to spend the afternoon watching silly horror movies and eat lots of pizza. 

"I dunno." replies Dean curtly that Sam turns the tele off and looks at him. "What do you mean you dunno? Don't you live in the same house?" Sam chuckles but stops when Dean's not sharing his humor.

"You guys had a fight?" Sam queries and Dean rolls his eyes impatiently. He hates to explain an uncomfortable situation and Sam is unfortunately, the kind that never stops asking!

"Dean??" Sam persists that the blonde gives up and tells him everything. He barely finishes sharing when Sam springs from the couch and grabs his hand. He forcefully pulls Dean with him out of the house, heading to Cas'.

"HEY! What are you doing?!!" Dean shouts but Sam blatantly ignores him. Soon they reaches the mansion's front door and Sam yells.

"CAS!!! CAS!! Come out!!" Cas and Ellen who hear the tall kid, rush out of the room to see what's happening. 

"Samuel?" asks Ellen first follows by Castiel. "Sammy? What's wrong?" Cas asks, anxious when he saw Dean tries to break away from Sam's grip.

"You and Dean need to talk and then we're all gonna watch the horror movies as planned!" Sam commands that Dean yells at him,"I've nothing to say to him! If he wants to leave, then leave!! I don't care! Just let me go you Sasquatch!!" 

Sam stares at him menacingly and growls lowly,"I don't care what you call me Dean because all I care is that YOU talk this matter out with HIM, or I WON'T let you go!"

Ellen smiles discreetly at his words. Sam can be very persistent when he wants and right now, he's not about to let his two best friends get in the way of his happiness. Horror movies are his favorite and he'll be damned if they missed watching them!

"Dean...I'm so sorry...." Cas apologizes sincerely as he walks up to his dearest friend. His eyes red as he looks at him.

Dean groans and mutters,"Alright..let's fucking talk!" 

"Language Dean!" scolds Ellen at the door and Sam grins at her. 


	17. Chapter 17

Sam waits patiently for his friends to finish talking. He notices that at first Dean stubbornly refused to hear Castiel exasperated explanations but after a while, the older kid's patience got through the blonde's thick skull. He smiles when he saw them hug each other. 

"Cas...you'd better promise me you'll come back for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, MY birthday, Sam's birthday or I will never speak to you again! Ever" Dean threatens but Cas could see right through him. His friend is hurting inside though he tries hard not to show it. He knows Dean too well by now.

"I promise, Dean. I'll run away if I must if my mother ever tries to stop me." assures Cas that Dean laughs at him humorlessly. "Yeah right..!"

"I will Dean." he insists but the blonde just smirks and says,"Just...don't forget about us....me....okay, buddy?"

"Never Dean..." Cas utters seriously. Dean then says that the three of them should continue with their plans for the rest of the week and suggests they should join Sammy already before the tall kid starts a rampage. Cas smiles at his words and soon, the friends scream, shout and laugh raucously at the characters on the movie screen. 

The next day, Cas bought the three of them matching friendship anklets which they swear never to remove till they grow into them. They thanked him for treating them to lunch with the money his dad gave as well. The boys then head to the new bookshop at the corner. While Sam's browsing in the horror section, Cas and Dean are looking at school supplies to buy. A small leather bound diary catches Cas' fancy for it's green shade reminds him so much of Dean's eyes. 

Without hesitation, he grabs the diary and heads fast towards the cashier. It's his special gift for Dean who watches him in amusement. There's truly no one like Castiel, he thought sadly. Dean looks back at the shelf and saw the same diary but in blue, like Cas' eyes. He takes it and pays it to the cashier next to Castiel's. The blue eyed boy looks at him curiously and says,"Oh...let me get that for you instead, Dean." He's about to pay the cashier when Dean swats his hand away. 

"Dean, I wanted to get this green one for you but it's obvious that you liked the blue one better. Let me pay for it, please?" insists Cas but Dean smiles at him. 

"You keep the green, and I'll keep the blue because they'll remind us... of me and you..." 

In the background, Sam's yelling, "GAY! GAY! GAY!" 

Laughing hysterically, Cas and Dean chases him out of the store and all the way home.


	18. Chapter 18

And so the months went by and Zachariah kept his promise to his son by bringing him back to Los Angeles every holidays. Naomi can't find it in herself to protest since her husband's much nicer towards her lately. The man has been giving her so much attention whenever they're both in New York that she wished they could be that way in their vacation home too but unfortunately Zachariah chose to go on lengthy business trips till she's called back by her agency in New York. And she really can't complain much either because even though they're far apart, her husband would send her flowers and gifts baskets almost every week. She finds that her husband is slowly turning into a romantic but Ellen knows that he's only covering his guilt. 

She confronts Mary constantly about it because as much as she dislikes Naomi's character, she can't break her friend's heart. But as the years gone by, Mary's still steadfast in denying her secret relationship with the married man. Till one day a seventeen year old Sam heard their conversations and then consulted Dean who thought that perhaps he could've heard wrong. At that time too, Cas' already left for New York with his mother for one last time before continuing his college education in California. Naomi's left with no choice but to give in to her son's requests and her husband's demands. 

Zachariah said that it's time for Castiel to make his own decision and the teen had chosen to study in the same college with his best friends. Naomi reluctantly agrees but with a condition that her son must continue studying religion. It's more than Cas hopes for because he does enjoys the course and now he can be with Dean and Sam. 

Dean studies Art while Sam studies filming. The latter's ambition is to be a horror movie director and due to his interests, he makes lots of interesting friends in campus. Dean has a few too but he'd rather spends his free time with Cas and vice versa. They don't really need any other friends except Sam of course, but the tall and lanky teen now so busy that they seldom get to see him much.

"Cas? Can I ask you a question?" asks Dean one spring afternoon when they're studying together under a large oak tree. Cas gazes at him with his brilliant blue eyes and asks,"Sure, Dean...what is it?" Dean's heart skips a beat as he hesitates a little before replying,"Are you really... going to be a priest one day?" 

Cas smiles when he detects the nervousness in his voice because Dean always sounded innocent and adorable like that."I'm not sure yet Dean....why?" he asks gently and then straightens up to face his friend. For the past few years, since he turned seventeen, Cas can't stop admiring Dean's soft features. It's getting harder for him to decide whether Dean's handsome or pretty or both but one thing for sure, the blonde's breathtaking and Castiel's been questioning his own sexuality lately.

Cas never fails to pray for forgiveness to God every morning for these inappropriate thoughts of his dearest friend. Even though he knows it isn't sinful to idolize God's beautiful creation. He just can't get enough of watching Dean and for the love of God he truly can't help himself. Sam even teased him constantly about his "special" interest in their mutual friend but Cas continuously denies his accusations. And now he's not so sure anymore. Because the more he thinks of Dean's bedroom eyes and his pretty bowed lips at night, the lesser he sleeps. Whenever they're apart, his heart feels like its being ripped.

Dean blushes furiously when he finds Castiel staring at him... yet again. To be fair, he's been doing the same thing, but discreetly unlike this silly goose before him. Their childhood name calling makes him chuckles softly that Cas asks him what's wrong?

"Nothing. I just thought that....if you choose... to be.. a Priest, can you still date or marry any girls?" asks Dean carefully, afraid that he might sound offensive but at the same time curious to hear his answer. His heart stammers wild in anticipation. Only Cas can make him feel this way. The dorky, sensitive kid he knew then had grown to be such a gorgeous, confident gentleman. He can go on listing every positive things to praise Castiel. But right now, all he wants is to hear his damn answer even if it'll break his heart. He'll take the risk to know what's going on in Cas' mind! If he feels the same way he feels! Because every act of his shows that he does! And its driving Dean crazy!

"I guess I could...but to me girls make better friends though..don't you agree?" asks Cas with a knowing smile. They both have ardent admirers from the opposite sex and like Cas, Dean has never shown any interest in them. This guessing game between the two friends frustrate them but neither wants to address the issue first.

"I mean will you have sex with them, Cas?!" blurts Dean impatiently but then felt ashamed at his own audacity. Naomi would skin him alive for his insinuations towards her son! He backtracks and apologizes hastily. Cas laughs softly at him and says,"It's okay, Dean. You can ask me anything..you know that.." 

Dean smiles and apologizes again before changing the subject. "Sam's new girlfriend is having a party this weekend at her house and she's inviting us. Will you be going, Cas?" he asks and Cas throws the question back at him. "Will you?"

"...yeah...of course or I'll never hear the end of it from Sammy." chuckles Dean softly as he puts his books away. Castiel's stare unnerves him.

"Will you go with me, Dean?" asks Cas gently and Dean breaks into a loud laugh this time and says,"Of course you silly goose!"

Cas looks at him and asks seriously this time,"What I meant is, will you be my date, Dean?"


	19. Chapter 19

Dean stares at Cas, disbelieving what he just heard. Cas wants to date him?! The blonde's unable to express his exhilarated emotion, only gaping like a fool at Cas who stares back worriedly. He's done it, thought the brunette, regretfully. He's truly scared Dean this time and knows that he must rectify the awkward situation immediately.

He takes a quick breath and utters softly, "Dean.."

Dean nods slowly."Cas.." His responds mirrors his friend or date or boyfriend or whatever but one thing he knows is that he wants Cas to keep saying his name that way forever. Cas makes his heart flutters.

"Dean, I'm sorry....I didn't mean to scare you or make you uncomfortable...it's just th..." Cas' words cut short by Dean who's still in a daze.

"I'm not dreamin am I?" he whispers and Cas shakes his head in confusion. Was his request so ridiculous that Dean needs to check on his alert status. But then again Cas detects no mockery in his question.

"No, you're not Dean...just forg..." he got cuts off again by Dean, who slowly moves closer to him.

"Ask me again...please...I wanna hear it...." pleads Dean weakly, can't trust himself that very moment. Cas has uttered the words he's been yearning for all these years.

Overcome with relief, Cas gazes softly into Dean's green eyes and smiles,"Dean, will you be my date on Sam's fourth girlfriend's, I don'tknowhatshername party?" 

Dean's grin is so wide that it almost split his face in two.."Yes, Cas!! I will go with you to whatshername's party.."

They both chuckle and Cas braves himself to cradle Dean's comely face. The campus almost empty now since it's spring break but the friends decide to spend time study together. 

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to ask you that?" asks Cas, gazing into Dean's eyes. His heart is bursting with joy at Dean acceptance. He wants to shout out to the world and so he did. His voice echoes through the field. Dean laughs and shakes his head, before doing the same.

"I've been waiting all my life for you to do so too...Cas.." he confesses that Cas sighs. 

"Why don't you ask me first, Deannnn? You know how awkward I am with this sort of thing? Look at how much time we've wasted, baby..?" laments Cas and then blushes at his own endearing word.

Dean blushes too when he smiles, searching Cas' face with his green eyes. Cas thought that his heart could stop when he feels Dean's warm breath this close. He's so intoxicating that Cas can't help staring at his pretty mouth. Those bowed lips that Cas had imagined kissing forever. " ..tell me, how long...my love..?" Dean's words snaps him into reality that he almost didn't hear the question, only Dean's reciprocal of his endearment.

"So long Dean.....so long, baby.....I wanna kiss you so bad......please, Dean will you let me?" asks Cas tentatively, unable to hide his desire anymore. Dean's like a magnet, pulling him in fast and strong. Not that he wants to repel anyway. No fool would.

"...yes baby...I want you to.." replies Dean softly.

Cas kisses him chastely before pulling back to see if Dean would freak out but the blonde looks at him in confusion and asks"..why'd you stop?" 

"Is this okay, Dean? Are you okay with us like this..? I really need to know.." implores Cas, unsure that Dean smiles at him and pulls him in by the neck.

Dean kisses him instead till they surrender themselves wholly to each other. Their kisses so sweet yet reverent....that no one could take that moment away from them...no one can spoil their happiness even the Priest who's also Cas' Professor who's staring at them disapprovingly from his window pane. 


	20. Chapter 20

The new lovers professed beautiful words of promises in each other's arm. Oblivious to the surroundings as the chilly spring weather envelopes their entire beings except their burning heart. Can't get enough of each other, every words of love they utter punctuate with soft kisses. That eventually their intimacy gets more intense and Cas has to pull away reluctantly. Dean wants to protests but knows that they need to address some important issues regarding their budding relationship. Homosexuality is not common in their campus and those who engages themselves in this special affair, act in total discretion. Worse for theology majors like Castiel. Dean coaxes him to switch majors but he steadfastly refused. 

"I liked what I'm learning, Dean and I'm so sorry if it's going to be the biggest obstacle in our love affair." lament Cas sadly that Dean hurriedly rectifies.

"Cas, I'm sorry baby! I didn't mean to force you or anything, I swear! I'm glad that you enjoyed your course because I remembered so well when you used to sulk every time your bible tutor came!..." reminds Dean and they both smiled at the memories.

"I know...look how far I've came" says Cas softly and then adds," but we have to be very careful sweetheart. We can't let people see us like this together though I know it's gonna be hard because I love you so much.." His words sound pained at the end that Dean swoops in for a kiss and says,"I love you so much too.."

Dean smiles amusingly, looking at him. "What is it?" probes Cas curiously, smiling at him too.

"You remind me of that song......the old one about silent partners..something...?" asks Dean and Cas frowns as he tries to remember which one. Growing up with mostly females in their household, they got to listen to so many wonderful late eighties song.

"Is it the one sang by Laura Brannigan?" queries Cas almost seriously that Dean laughs softly at him."Yeah...I think so.." he replies unsure.

Dean hums the melody and then Cas voices the words when recognition finally hits him. 

_"So we're livin' like silent partners_  
_Sneakin' like thieves in the night_  
_Can't let it show, gotta keep it low, so no one knows_  
_We're silent partners_  
_Never come to the light"_

"Yeah! That's the one, baby!" exclaims Dean happily and then they both rack their brains to recall the rest of the song.

 _"We have to take the chances...we have to keep it down...."_ Dean began and Cas follows, _"We have to steal our kisses...when nobody's around...we have to hide.."_ Dean adds, _"...the tenderness inside.."_ then Cas.. _"to make love on the sly..."_ Dean smiles shyly at the words before singing the rest of the song with his ardent lover, _"..you say it's for the better.."_

_"We have to speak in riddles to cloak the things we say ...._  
_We have to watch our whispers not to give ourselves away ..._  
_We have to run in shadows in the dark...._  
_We have to stand apart when they see us together ...._  
  
_So we're livin' like silent partners...._  
_Sneakin' like thieves in the night...._  
_Can't let it show, gotta keep it low, so no one knows ...._  
_We're silent partners....._  
_Never come to the light ...._  
  
_It'll never be right whatever we do ....._  
_You need me too much and I'm just not givin' up on you...._

They smile as they stare at each other while comprehending the song that they just sang silently in their hearts.

They stayed that way till Castiel speaks. "I love you Dean so much... I pray that we'll be together forever..come what may.."

Dean's in tears as his being kissed by Cas, afraid of facing the obstacles that come their way.

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Sam's latest girlfriend, Jessica, is a stunning and popular blonde. She loves to party and her ambition is to become a famous actress but her rich parents told her to take up filming instead. They spoiled her but at the same time worry about her future and their social (influential) status. Sam is crazy about her even though she's a relentless flirt because he too crave others attention anyway. These similarities are what brings them together. They are the newest star couple in campus, envied as well as revered by others.

Cas attends the party with Dean in tow. The lovers refrained themselves from kissing and holding each other's hand. Even Sam didn't know about their secret relationship. It's tormenting them inside but they have no choice but to be discreet, an unwilling pledge they made a week earlier. Especially here with these rowdy crowd of cocky frat boys cat calling Dean. Cas almost wanted to take his beautiful boyfriend back to his dorm but the blonde assures him that he'll be okay. He's used to their rude treatment, he says to a seething Cas. 

"Yo, Dean! You do know that you can easily pay off your tuition fees with those lips right??!" mocks a senior rudely and his friends started laughing.

Dean ignores him as they walked pass, sending signals at an incensed Cas to do the same. The brunette's ready to retaliate when fortunately Sam intervened. "Shut up, Alastair. Your stupid opinion's not needed here. Just leave my friends alone or get out!" he warns and the senior scoffs at him,"It's the bitch's party, moose! Not yours." Sam hurls at him and knocks him out cold with one blow. The senior's friends didn't do anything to help him instead they all laughed harder at his condition. 

"Take him out of my sight!" orders Sam and two of them did as they're told. No one dares to offend Sammy because he's known to be the nicest, meanest guy in campus.

Jess saw what happened and runs towards her raging boyfriend, pulling him away,"Sammy whatcha doing?!!!!"she asks, horrified for no one gets thrown out of her party before and Sam acting like he owns it.

"He's rude and said horrible things to my friend! I won't hear of it nor I care to see his face ever again." Sam replies heatedly when he detects her displeased tone.

"Look! I don't want to make enemies alright? And I think you shouldn't too. Apologize to Alastair now before he makes another scene Sam!" she urges while trying to push him out the door. Sam pulls away and stares at her in disbelief. "FUCK THAT! I'll do no such things!" he retorts.

She huffs irritably before rushing out to attend to an unconscious Alastair. Dean watches them with interest and then approaches Sam. "You don't have to do that for me, Sammy. I'm used to those mocking, you know that. We'll leave now.." expresses Dean sincerely but Sam shakes his head vehemently and says,"Nope, you guys are staying. If anyone hurts you, they'll get it from me." Dean bit his lips and mutters a soft okay.There's no point arguing with his tall friend especially when he's mad.

"Dean's right, Sammy. Don't worry, there'll be other parties by Jess, I'm sure. Dean, we'll catch a movie or theater in town?" offers Castiel immediately but Sam decides to join them instead. He's afraid of what he would do to Alastair when he comes around.

Dean could see that his boyfriend is duly disappointed but tries very hard not to show it. Another one of their rare stolen moments robbed by circumstances.


	22. Chapter 22

That night after the movies, Sam suggests that they spend the Spring break in Venice. His friends immediately agreed with him and the very next morning, they leave for their hometown. The boys missed Ellen and Mary who've been asking them to spend the holidays together so when Dean called his aunt, she's so ecstatic that the women planned a nice welcome for them.

"Oh Mary, I missed the kids so much! It's not the same without them here. I wished they hadn't grow up so fast!" laments Ellen as she thaws the frozen steaks in the tray. 

"I know, El. Sam calls me less and less these days. Always busy with his girlfriends, I heard." chuckles Mary softly. Dean's forced to reveal her son's conquests after her relentless persuasion. Sam takes after his dad in that sense, she thought unsurprisingly. Her ex husband was an over friendly Don Juan who loves to fill women's emptiness every chance he got. But unlike her hatred for his father, Mary loves Sam to pieces and to hear him chose to spend the holidays with her and not Jessica makes her very happy. 

Ellen laughs too before saying,"Well, at least he has normal social life there, Mary. I don't know what's going on with Cas and Dean. They spent too much time together and I worry they might missed out on having fun with other people. Every time I called Dean at his dorm, Cas would be there or vice versa."

Mary looks at her in disbelief. "What??" asks Ellen curious at her friend's demeanor. 

"Ellen, can you please stop with this naivety for once? It's so obvious that they are in Love with each other." express Mary impatiently as Ellen busies herself with washing the potatoes in the sink. She's not naive like her friend thought she was because she has the same suspicions about the boys since they were much younger.

But until one of them confides in her, she wouldn't make any wild guess. It doesn't worry her in any way, far from it, it's Naomi's reaction that she's afraid of. She's aware of the uptight woman's ambition for her son to be a priest soon and Cas' unblemished path as an exemplary student in college keeps her hope in place. Cas is a natural and his professors as well as the Dean recommends him highly to the highest, prestigious seminary  in New York. 

"Let's not speculate, Mary. I want them to enjoy this short vacation together without any of your needless scrutiny." warns Ellen lightly but Mary understands her concern.

"My lips are sealed my friend." she assures. Ellen nods and throws in the tray of potatoes in the oven before turning to her friend with a sly smirk.

"Good. Let's talk about You and Zachariah instead."

Mary groans out loud and drops her head on the kitchen counter.

The boys are overjoyed when they got home. Mary and Ellen welcomes them with colorful banners and a table laden with their favorite foods.

"WOW! I'm so glad I dumped those crazy parties for these, guys!" exclaims Sam as he grabs a roasted chicken leg and bites into its flesh. 

"Samuel Aron Wesson!! Go wash your hands first!!" yells Mary that the rest laugh. Sam heeds not her words and he keeps on eating.

"Never mind him, Mary! You know how caveman he'll gets if he doesn't get his food!" mocks Dean playfully that Sam throws the chicken bone at him. The tall guy chases the blonde around the house that they all just laugh at their childish act. Cas watches them with both his hands in his pocket. He's so much different from the time he left for college a year ago. He behaves more maturely than his peers.

"Cas? Would you like to settle first and we all can start lunch soon? I've made your favorite pasta, sweetheart." says Ellen with a warm smile.

Cas nods and replies,"Thank you. I will El." Mary and Ellen watch him walks up the stairs and goes into his old room quietly.

"He's so serious that kid. I think what he learned in college somehow screwed him up. Whatdayathink, El?" asks Mary with raised eyebrows.

"Hush Mary! Don't let Naomi hear you say that!" scolds Ellen gently and then as an afterthought, she says,"I think I should call her. She should know that Cas' back." And before she reaches for the phone in the kitchen, Mary smacks her hand and shakes her head hurriedly.

"Cas would've told her if he wants to see her, Ellen. Obviously, the kid doesn't want his mother here." Mary reasons but Ellen looks at her friend and says,"Castiel or you? Because I heard the voice message from Zachariah saying that he's coming this weekend, Mary."


	23. Chapter 23

That night after dinner, Sam and Mary went back home next door. Sam assures his friends that he'll wake up early for their fishing trip. Since they're all grown up now and Cas' has a boating licence, they'll be using Zachariah's boat. It's an exciting adventure for the boys who'll be taking the bigger boat to the sea for the first time. Dean too, has learned how to swim very well since the last incident that he almost drowned.

"Leave the dirty laundry there, Cas. I will wash them for you later." offers Ellen, smiling gently. Even though he's left for college, Ellen still thinks that it's her duty to help him with some chores.

"No, El, thank you though. You did so much today so you should rest. Why don't you talk to Dean? He's just finished his bath." says Cas as he loads his clothes in the washing machine.

"Okay. Just call me out if you need anything, alright?" says Ellen and Cas nods with a smile.

Dean's busy putting away his clothes in the drawer. At last he stays in the room meant for him the first time he arrives. It's a smaller one from his aunt and no balcony. He loves the balcony but he's not complaining. Maybe he can get Cas to sneak in after midnight to make out. The bed is bigger in his room and it can fit both their frames perfectly. The butterflies in his stomach flutters at the thought of them kissing passionately while their semi naked bodies rubbing hard against each other. Cas' a great kisser and Dean can't get enough of him. His lover's seen him naked in the bathtub earlier by accident and he can't stop thinking about it.

However Cas has amazing self control because try as he might, Dean fails to lure him to go further. He wants, he needs, he yearns for Cas to be inside him already because their hot making out sessions drove him crazy! His lover requests for his patience to wait for the right moment but Dean worries that it's guilt that gets in Cas' way, every time.

Cas pious but at the same time desirous. It's conflicting and confusing his heart and mind. Even after their intense intimacy with clothes on, Cas will pray for forgiveness from God and distance himself from him momentarily. Dean tries to understand his lover who's raised to be faithful to the Almighty and the teachings of his religion but where's that leaves him then?

What's Dean supposed to do in the meantime with his lover's endless procrastination? It's not that he's sex crazed but truth be told, it's not easy Not to be sex crazed around Cas. That man exudes sexuality without even trying!

It's alright, it doesn't matter, Dean assures himself. He loves Cas. Sex can wait or not happen at all. That's what true love is about. It's not about sex! It's about romance, the love they had for each other since they were kids! He repeats those words like a mantra in his head.

"Dean?!" his aunt's voice calling out to him from the outside alerted him from his trance. He opens the door and let her in but she senses that her nephew's stressed about something.

"Are you okay?" she asks, watching him put away the last pile of clothes in the drawer.

"...yeah...thanks.." he replies and sits on the bed. Ellen pulls the velvet arm chair at the corner and places it before him.

"Are you sure, sweetheart?" she asks, unrelenting, knowing too well when Dean's in trouble.

"I wish I could tell you, aunt, but I made a promise not to say anything yet. I hope you'll understand." he says quietly, worrying the hem of his sleep shirt.

"A promise to Cas?" she asks carefully and Dean nods weakly. Ellen sighs and touches his face gently.

"Don't fret, my love. Just tell me when you're ready...alright?" she proposes gently with a warm smile. Dean gets up and hugs her tight.

"I missed you so much, aunt.." 

Cas' pumps his engorged cock furiously beneath the hot rushing water in the shower. He stifles his lustful moans, calling out Dean's name even though he knows no one can hear him in that huge bathroom. It's not the people in the house that worries him, it's God condemning his sinful action that tears him inside out. He's managed to control his desires for Dean all these times until he caught the blonde bathing by accident earlier. Dean's unfazed, even smiling invitingly at him that Cas' manhood swelled fast in his pants upon seeing his glorious tan nakedness in the tub.

"...Deannnn...." he moans helplessly as he orgasms and then slowly lets his body slid down to the wet floor. He welcomes the relentless hot water pouring over him and cries softly"....God, help me...please forgive me...for I have sinned...yet again.." 


	24. Chapter 24

Sam rushes through his breakfast, too excited to eat since his thoughts are solely on the huge boat out in the canal. Cas watches him grabs Dean's upper arm while the blonde's sipping his hot coffee. "FUCK! I burnt my tongue, dammit!"

Sam laughs and yells,"Come on! We're late. We must go before the sun comes up!" Dean grunts and looks guiltily at his lover for cursing but Cas smiles at him tenderly as if saying,"It's okay, baby, I understand. It's hard to be rational around Sam."

"Cas! You too! Come on! Hurry the hell up!" commands Sam without malice when Cas takes his sweet time clearing Dean's plate for him. He ignores his tall's friend demands and continues clearing the rest of the dirty dishes on the table.

"God! I wish that my son can be as calm as you, Castiel! Must be that prenatal diabetes I had when I was pregnant with him!" grumbles Mary. Cas and Ellen only chuckles softly at her. Ellen knows that she's not really mad at Sammy, she's stressed out because her secret lover is coming in two days!

They had a long talk finally and Ellen had advised her to do something about her love affair with Zachariah or come clean with Naomi. "You can't keep it a secret forever, Mary. It will catch up with you eventually." Mary wants to heed her advice and prepares herself for the worse. She should leave Zachariah and save her friendship with Naomi.

It's not a hard choice really but she's lonely without Zachariah's constant presence in her mundane life. She wished she could share Ellen's contentment in being alone without a lover or even a date. But she can't because she's a hopeless romantic and Zachariah has been very attentive towards her too. 

"I'm going to town to clear my head. You wanna come with me?" Mary asks Ellen while washing the dishes. "Yeah, why not? I need to get some things for Dean too." replies El and Mary grins happily. It's not easy to get the woman out of the house gallivanting. And that's exactly what she has in mind. Zachariah's been supporting her expenses monetarily and she wants to spoil her plain dear friend Ellen to the max!

"Dean be careful, sweetheart." Cas stops short the moment the word's out but luckily Sam's out of earshot. The tall guy's standing precariously at the end of the boat, peering into the deep blue ocean while Dean's trying to mirror his friend's stunt. Dean steps down and smiles at his lover. "I wanna kiss you so bad, baby" he says softly that Cas stares at him. "Can we kiss? I missed you last night. I thought that you would visit me in my room." laments Dean and Cas stops steering. He takes a quick look at Sam and pulls Dean towards the cabin downstairs. He kisses the blonde the moment the door shuts behind them.

"I miss you too, baby..." kisses Dean"..so much.." kisses again "I'm sorry I didn't kiss you good night but I will later tonight, my love.."kisses Dean ardently that the blonde moans into his mouth. "I love you" Cas utters when they finally pulls away and Dean says"This is hard...it's easier in our dorm, Cas. We can do what we want without anyone noticing."

Cas cradles his pretty face, kiss him chastely and says,"God is watching us, Dean...even when no one does. You have no idea how much I want you, take you and make you mine, sweetheart but we both know that I can't. Not when my conscience dictates my actions all the time."

"For how long, baby? I can't wait any longer. Please...I need you inside me, my love. I love you so, so much.." entreats the blonde in his needy voice that Cas almost throws caution out the window and fucks him senseless, right there on the floor board.

"Sweetheart, we'll talk about this later? Sam must be looking for us now. Come on baby." coaxes Cas before planting a kiss on Dean's forehead. Sam is standing on the steps when he opens the door.

"What the fuck are you guys doing down there?" he accuses the brunette who's at loss for words.


	25. Chapter 25

Sam's slow smirk eases the lovers' tension immediately. They're thinking that he's seriously demanding an explanation but when Cas still can't find an immediate answer, Dean steps in and replies,"We were talking, Sammy." 

Sam chuckles. "Na..uh..I don't think so. Come on now. I know what you guys were doing down there. This" Sam points to the small window on the door" isn't exactly opaque you know?" he asserts knowingly that both Dean and Cas blushed in embarrassment.

But Cas recovers fast and speaks,"Sam, I'm sorry for not telling you about us sooner. I think you already know that Dean and I are in love but we have to keep our relationship a secret. I'm to be blame solely for this situation because of my ambition to be a Priest." He looks sadly at Dean who shakes his head and says,"Don't feel bad about your ambition, Cas. It will help your future plan to open up a halfway house and give back to the community. I'm so proud of you, baby." His green eyes flicks at Sam who looks happy instead of disgust.

"I'm proud of you too, Cas." adds the tall guy and Cas expresses his thanks to both of them then walks over to the small booth of the cabin to sit, motioning them to join him. 

They began discussing about society's view in regards to the secret love affair. Cas' dilemma in joining the seminary in New York after college. Not only will he be separated from Dean for the next five years, his chosen career path later will definitely end their relationship. He can't afford to live a double life, as a Priest and a homosexual lover. 

"Then you should choose, Cas. Dean or your ambition. To be honest, I don't understand why you must but for your own happiness sake, I think you should." reasons Sam and Dean looks at both him and Cas, nervously. Afraid of Cas' reply to this obvious suggestion. Sam's a person who knows what he wants and he'll usually gets it but also unaware of the complications that comes with it. Dean understood and that's why he's also torn from loving Cas and let him live his life. He knows how important for his boyfriend to pursue his dream because he wants the same for himself. Dean often envisions himself to be a successful artist one day. 

Cas notices Dean's fear and then holds hand across the table. "Dean's not a choice. He's mine and I'm his. I need time to figure this things out but baby.." he looks at Dean and continues,"...if I must my love, I will always choose you."

Dean's fear dissipates as he smiles with tears welling rapidly in his eyes at his lover's declaration. 

"Me too, baby." he replies softly before Cas leans over to kiss him chastely on the lips.

"Wait! That's not really an answer, guys!" Sam exclaims but the lovers chuckles softly at him. "What's so funny? I'm being serious here!" asks Sam, laughing too, can't help himself.

"You won't understand until you're in love, Sammy." says Dean gently. Sam's eyes wide, staring at him. "How do you even know I've never been in love?!" he asks incredulously but still laughing away that Cas points out the obvious. "You always choose to spend your holidays with us instead of Jessica, Anna" and Dean adds quickly,"Ruby and Lilith?"

"That's not fair! But...you're right...oh well.. it takes more than beauty to capture this handsome face and heart of mine." proclaims Sam cockily but his friends know he's only kidding. Sam's the least arrogant people they ever met.

After that Sam left the lovers alone in the cabin to fish. Each, at peace with their thoughts and confessions finally. Sam's happy for his friends but wishes too that he has their love. He could see how much they meant to each other and when he recalls the love affairs he had with Jessica and his ex girlfriends, none of them even come close to what Dean and Cas have. He felt so alone suddenly but quickly shrugs off the notion. 

He will fall in love with the right person one day and they will be as much in love as the two lovebirds down there. He sighs and throws the fishing line further into the sea.


	26. Chapter 26

"I can't believe you talked me into this, Mary! I looked like an old fool!" laments Ellen frustratingly, looking at her new colored and shaggy hair.

"No, you're not! You looked young and fabulous Ellen! I swear!" Mary commends with laughter. Ellen gives her an evil eye and demands to go home. Unperturbed, Mary drives them home while assuring her dear friend that she looks great. Ellen who can't wait to put on a hairband, already worries about what the boys will think of her new hairdo. It's embarrassing to try to look like some twenty years old! She's so furious with Mary that she refuses to speak to the blonde all the way home. 

Once in the mansion, she almost ran to her bedroom and locks herself inside. Mary shakes her head in desperation at Ellen's behavior. The woman's too serious about herself that any change is an unwelcome experience..oh well, she'll come around, thought Mary as drives to her cottage next door. 

Her mood plummeted when she saw Zachariah sitting comfortably on her couch. Try as she might, she can never push the man away and his visits to her were more frequent lately that she's afraid Naomi will catch on.

"C'mere beautiful....I've been waiting for you all morning." lures the married man softly and as usual, Mary finds it hard to resist him.

"Your hair looks beautiful, aunt. The reds suits you, I promise." convinces Dean sincerely again when his aunt refuses to leave her room when she can't find her hairband.

"It isn't gaudy! The layers are highlighted nicely and they enhanced your pretty features!" Dean insists that his aunt grunts and pushes the offensive bangs away from her face. "I hate it!" she grumbles and walks out to the kitchen with Dean shaking his head in amusement from behind. His aunt's not a vain person and he understands her reservation completely though he wishes that she could see what he and the rest see. His aunt is still pretty even at fifty.

Castiel's in his room, thinking of the proper thing to say to everyone about his decision at dinner later. Dean's unaware of his intention and he wants it to be a surprise. Sam's words earlier hit him like a train. He chose Dean. Cas loves him with his entire being. 

Naomi's heart thumps erratically when the taxi finally pulls up in front of her house. She has received some disturbing news from Castiel's college professors about his sinful and compromising acts with Dean. She's advised to "talk" to her son before they take any action against him that will hurt his chance to be a preacher. 

Naomi's seething with rage inside and tries to remain poise but fails to hide her disgust as she storms into her son's room right away. 

Dean and Ellen rush out of the room to witness the commotion upstairs. The door to Cas room's slammed shut by his mother but their loud and intense arguments could be heard clearly from the outside. 

"Did you tell her, Cas home, aunt?" asks Dean curiously but Ellen denies. She sends him to the boat to be with Sam whose still trying his best to catch a fish in the canal. She then busies herself in the kitchen preparing dinner that she forgets to call Mary to warn about Naomi's unsuspected appearance. 

"I love him, mother! I know it's a sin! and that's why I'm willing to make this sacrifice, for us, for him!" asserts Cas exasperatingly in order to make his mother understands but she steadfastly refuses to hear any of his explanation. 

"You sacrifice yourself to only God, Castiel! Your faith in him that I know still lives inside of you!! And yes I know that I pushed you towards the righteous path but it has been your choice after that for so many years! Please don't throw all these for pure animal lust, Castiel!!" she yells with passion, sounding so much like her own mother once. 

Castiel drops his weight onto the edge of his bed and rubs his face tiredly. "Mother, please leave me alone. I wanna be alone, please."

Naomi looks at her son and says quietly. "You're a good person and the only thing I can say here is if you truly loves Dean... don't drag him towards hell, Castiel."


	27. Chapter 27

 "SHIT!!" curses Sam at the missing bait. "Stupid fishes!!" he adds, throwing the fishing rod onto the deck furiously. Dean's approaching him from behind startles him that he curses some more. "Damn it Dean! You scare me!" 

Normally, Dean would laugh at his reflexes but when the blonde stays quiet, Sam gets worried. "Hey, you okay?"

Dean shakes his head and replies,"Naomi's home. She's having a heated argument with Cas right now." 

"Oh...I see..sorry.. I didn't mean to swear at you.." Sam says and Dean tells him that it's alright. "What are they arguing about?" Sam queries. It's been years since the family fight with each other that to hear them going at it now seems strange. 

"I heard Cas told her that he wants to quit college and become a high school teacher instead. He said he's doing it for me. I've never felt so much in love as I am with him now, Sammy." confesses Dean tenderly.

"Fuck...I'm so jealous right now!" exclaims Sam jokingly though he can't find any humor in his own words for he sees his friend as if for the first time. Dean's bewitching, in love. He glows with it, Sam sees it in his shining green eyes when he talks about Cas and his soft smiles and pretty blush whenever his lover's name mentioned and now his heartfelt love confession that leaves Sam yearning. Yearning for a lover like Dean. Will he ever find someone who loves him like Dean loves Cas? Who misses and worries about him like Dean does? Who professes love without hesitation and so much confidence none can surpass?

He abruptly halts his thought upon realizing that he's actually attracted to Dean, his best friend, his confidante. NO. It's okay to admire the blonde because he is all that, beautiful inside and out. It's just normal to feel that way, Sam reassures himself over and over. He adores women who would put him in his place sometimes but the more he tries to convince himself, the more attractive Dean was compared to all of them. Dean's always been there, always try to make everyone feels better about themselves even when he's sad. Dean's the ideal lover for every one who deserves to be loved.

"Fuck!" he curses, forcing his crazy thoughts about Dean to stop and it's the blonde's turn to be startled. "Sammy??" 

Sam smiles sheepishly and apologizes to him. "I'm sorry, I'm just still mad at the fish I haven't caught." he jokes that Dean finally smiles at him.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm sure Cas will sort it out with his mother like he always did. Your boyfriend's a stubborn ass fucker, Dean, we all know that!" he adds that Dean chuckles softly now. His voice takes Sam's breathe away. He almost curse himself again when Dean suggests that they head back to the house. He needs to comfort his boyfriend, he says lightly. Sam fears the sharp envy that courses through his veins upon hearing his words.

 

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

Naomi knows that Cas is pondering over the words she just said to him. As a mother, she understood his weakness and also his strength. Cas is weak in love but he's strong enough to know that what he's doing is wrong in the eyes of God. She's not using his faith, on the contrary, Naomi's saving her son from impending heartbreak. Nothing good will come from that kind of unorthodox affair. It's against God and nature and she's doing the right thing. 

"Ellen. May we speak?" she asks, a little shock when she saw her friend's new hairstyle. Things sure changed at a warp's speed in my house, she thought in distaste. Castiel turning homosexual, her prudish best friend experiencing middle age crisis and wonders what comes next.

She gets her answer soon enough when her husband saunters through the opened front door, laughing with Mary in his arms. Naomi's speechless because for the first time in her life dealing with his cheating husband in the past, this one stuns her the most. She has her suspicions at the beginning but Zachariah has not shown any signs of infidelity so far. He's loving and caring, generous to a fault and their sex life only gets better since the past year. In short, it's almost felt like the time they were courting each other. So to say that she's shocked is an understatement when the similar look on her rival's face could've killed her instantly.

Mary's caught red handed and there's no way she could run or hide, she thought. Her harrowing screams as she charges at them seems foreign even to her own ears. Castiel rushes downstairs upon hearing his mother's cries and stops her from attacking both Mary and his dad. His disappointment clear when he orders them to leave the house and then comforted his mother. He reassures his mother that he did spoke to his father about this secret affair but it seems that Zachariah never needed his advice. 

Naomi cries pitifully in her son's arm, making him feel so guilty for not protecting her from this incident. Too selfishly caught up with his own world that he forgets the sin that surrounds him. His father's a sinner, just like him, he thought. His mother is right. Nothing good comes from lust and so he carries her helpless body to her room. The room, his parents used to share when they spent time together ages ago. 

Sam saw his mother crying in Zach's arm and without preamble, he runs and punches the older man's face repeatedly. Dean and Mary yells at him to stop but Sam continues to pounce on him incessantly.

"I KNEW IT!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!" he growls with rage as he kicks the fallen man hard on the ground.

Dean pulls Mary towards his aunt who come running from inside the house. "Aunt, please, take her home! I'm calling the police!" he shouts and runs into the house as Castiel dashes past him at the doorway before hitting Sam on his face.

Sam stumbles backwards and glares at his friend in disbelief! A badly injured Zachariah takes the golden opportunity to flee the scene and flags a cab that happens to pass by down the street. 

"YOUR FATHER'S A CHEATING COWARD BASTARD AND YOU'RE HITTING ME ASSHOLE?!!" yells Sam incredulously that Cas steps back a little.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Sammy. You almost killed him if I hadn't stop you. I don't want you to end up in jail." reasons Cas but Sam's not buying his excuse.

"Yeah, right, you self righteous bastard! Of course I won't kill him! I'm not that stupid! I was just teaching him a lesson for using my Mom, you asshole!" Sam curses as he rubs his sore face that Cas' hit.

"Violence not the way to solve a problem, Sam. I'm sorry that I resorted in hitting you on your face. Dean tried to stop you but he can't so I did. I'm sincerely sorry, Samuel." Cas apologizes gently but Sam spits at him and says with full contempt in his voice."FUCK you, preacher."

Dean looks at them with so much sadness that he speaks finally. "Please, don't fight over this matter. Cas' right, violence doesn't pay but I understands how you feel. Please, just calm down and lets talk this out."

Sam snorts in disbelief. The truth was he wants to listen to Dean but embarrassed and too proud to admit his own mistake. But he's not happy with Cas hitting him, that never happens in their lives, not even in jest. The nerve of him to hit him in front of everyone especially his mother!

So instead of walking away, he gives in to his hatred for Cas' reaction and says,"Dean, stop idolizing this preacher who will only make you suffer, if you know what I mean." With that he snorts again and walks back to his house.

Dean looks at him and then at Cas helplessly. His lover walks over and says,"Go talk to him, Dean. He mostly listens to you anyway. I need to check on my mom."


	29. Chapter 29

Ellen watches Sam berating his mother about the affair. Yelling at the top of his voice that Zachariah's a coward after Mary rebukes him for attacking her lover.

"I'll kill him if I ever see you two together again!" warns Sam in fury before running off to his room. Dean runs after him and after a few knocks on his door, Sam finally lets him in.

Mary turns to Ellen with tears still running down her face. "Why didn't you warn me that she and the boys are back, El?!! Now she's gonna hate me!" she reprimands that Ellen can't help but reply heatedly. "Have I not warned you many times to end this affair or admit it, MARY?! You never listen to me, once! So Don't blame me for this horrible situation both You and Zachariah created for yourselves! And what makes you think I'm off the hook here? Naomi must be thinking that I'm as traitorous as you are since we live Next to each other!"

Mary apologizes to her quickly for blaming her friend. Ellen just shakes her head and says, "I was just as surprised to see her home too, Mary. She had an argument with Cas earlier about his secret affair with Dean. I have to talk about this problem with them now. I'm afraid you have to figure out your own problem, Mary. I can't help you, it's too late."

Ellen leaves her home and went back to Naomi's. She hopes to console her other friend but the room's lock and she could hear Castiel's calm voice soothing his distraught mother. She wishes to speak to Dean, but her nephew's with Sam, calming him down as well. The phone in the den rings and she rushes downstairs for it. 

"Ellen. It's John." Ellen almost drops the phone after her brother says that he's out of prison and heading west coast towards Dean.

"I understand your anger. You're angry with the affair, not Castiel. He's our best friend and he only meant well. I know he didn't mean to hurt you but he has to or you might kill his father, Sammy." explains Dean, looking sadly at the raging man before him.

"Hey..." Dean calls out softly holding Sam's hand in his. "Say something...tell me whatever's in your mind, Sam. I'm listening.." 

Sam looks up at him finally and says,"..you're right. I'm glad he did because I intended to break his dad's face! I don't wanna talk about this, it's not entirely his fault as it's my moms' too. How they kept this secret for so long, it's beyond me. Where did they meet? I never seen them together except today, Dean or I would've demanded my mother to stop this stupid affair!"

Dean stays in his room till Sam's ready to face his mother outside. When he reaches home, his aunt immediately pulls him to her room and says urgently,"Dean. I have something important to tell you! Come!"

"What is it, aunt? Are you alright?" he asks worriedly before shutting the door behind them. Cas is still with his mother in her room upstairs.

"Your father's out of prison and he called here just now! I wonder how he knows where we live, Dean! I don't want him to hurt you ever again! I will kill him sweetheart!" Ellen expresses emotionally that Dean pulls her into a hug.

He assures her gently that they'll be alright and that he's old enough now to confront or defend them from his father. "Don't worry, it's my turn to protect you aunt...I love you so much.." He kisses Ellen's forehead and cheeks, telling her how much he loves her before settling them at the edge of the bed.

"I have something to say too. I'm so sorry we kept this from you but Cas and I are in love, aunt." he confesses and Ellen smiles amidst her tears.

"You both have been in love for so long, Dean, since you're very young. I've seen it with my own eyes but I'm afraid for your situation now." worries Ellen and Dean nods his head in understanding.

"I know. Especially now with her husband's affair with Mary, she will need Cas in her life more than ever, aunt. I don't mind that..I just hope she won't try to separate us..I can't live without Cas' love..I can't..." confides Dean painfully that Ellen holds him close.

"I will talk to her, don't you worry my love. Cas loves you so much too, I've never seen anyone so devoted to each other, Dean.." she confesses and Dean gets off the bed to face her.

"You're truly okay with our relationship then, aunt? We're so worried about your acceptance more than anything. " says Dean, green eyes brimming with tears when his aunt readily nods and smiles without hesitation.

"I've never been happier, Dean. You're meant for each other. I'll be with the both of you every step of the way, don't you worry about anything. I'll talk to Naomi, make her see what I see. I love you, baby." she kisses her nephew soundly on his cheeks that they both laugh.

"I love you too..thank you for loving me unconditionally..." replies Dean warmly, brushing the tears from his aunt's face.

"I'll better start dinner. We poor souls still need to eat right?"...she says.

"Yes...and I'm actually starving, aunt..." he jokes lightly while rubbing his tummy. "Come on, let me help you." he adds while pulling her off the bed.

Naomi's cries subsides after a while. Cas still never lets her go, afraid that she might think that he's deserting her. She looks up and whispers so softly that Cas can't almost misses her words. 

"I want to go back to New York. I wish I could divorce him but we can't, it's against our religion. Will you come home with me, baby?" she asks forlornly and begins to cry. Cas' heart stammers but he manages to nod weakly at her. 

"Anything for you, mom.."

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

Sam sits in his room long after Dean's left. Contemplating whether should he address this issue with his mom but when he finally comes down to look for her, she's already vanished. There's a note on the dining table and so he reads it. But before he even finishes, he throws it away in disgust, runs back upstairs and grab all his things. Luckily there wasn't much since he moved to the dorm two years ago. Samuel left without locking the door or saying goodbyes to Dean and Ellen. That will be the last time he'll ever set foot in that cottage again.

Dean helps his aunt quietly in the kitchen.Both worried about what's happening in theirs and their neighbors' household. Ellen and Dean had called Mary and Sam but no one answered. Dean figures that the two must've gone out to sort out their problems so he's not that worried but when Castiel finally comes downstairs carrying two big suitcases with Naomi walking fast ahead without acknowledging him, his heart stops.

"Cas?" he asks after his lover told his mother to wait in the living room. "What's going on?" asks Dean when Cas approaches him in a hurry.

"Dean, I need to speak to you and your aunt. Where is she?" asks Cas peering over Dean's shoulder looking for Ellen.

"She's in the kitchen. Baby, what's wrong?? You're all dressed up. Are you going somewhere?" asks Dean urgently, fear laced his voice that Cas pulls him close and whispers in his ear to calm him down.

"Dean, I have to go to New York to be with my mom for awhile. She can't stay here and I can't let her be on her own after what just happened. I promise you my love, I won't stay away too long. I will call you everyday, sweetheart, so please answer my calls. I'm gonna miss you so much but I hope you'll to understand my situation too. I've already called my professor, he allows me to self study till the finals. I won't be long, I promise you, my love." professes Cas intensely that Dean can only nods on his shoulder but Cas turns his face and kisses him. "I love you, please wait for me..I won't be long, baby.." he promises again and punctuate the words with another lingering kiss.

He then bites Dean, leaving a tiny bruise on his neck. Dean moans softly at the unexpected first hickey he receives from his lover. "What's that for..?" he manages to laugh softly when they finally pulls away.

"For others to stay away...you're mine sweetheart. Will you promise me to be faithful?" he whispers close to Dean's slightly opened mouth. Dean whispers a yes before repeating the same question to Cas. 

"I think you should know by now that I'm only faithful to only you and God, Dean." reminds Cas with a smile and pulls him to the kitchen. Ellen's sad to see him go but she understands. When she offers to bid Naomi goodbye, Cas gently tells her that his mother's not in the talking mood right now. Ellen knows that her friend's embarrassed about her failed marriage and wishes that Naomi would forgive her though she has no part in this chaos.

After another lingering kiss right before his aunt, Dean bids his boyfriend goodbye in silent tears. He refuses to eat his lunch and Ellen's besides herself with worry for him because she somehow knows that Cas won't be returning anytime soon.  

 


	31. Chapter 31

Mary met Zachariah in town. Her lover had called her earlier to apologize for leaving abruptly but she forgives him readily. Mary's in love and for once in her life she wants to do right by herself. Even hurting her best friend in the process. Mary can't lose Zachariah who's already fallen for her. He stops seeing other women since they met because Mary's the ideal partner for him.

The blonde's fun loving and intuitive unlike his wife Naomi nor any other women he met. Zachariah has been calling his lawyer to get his advice on getting a divorce from Naomi and the man is working on it in New York as he holds his lover in his arms.

"I might lose half of what I own to her, Mary. Is that alright with you? But I promise to work harder for us, sweetheart." says Zachariah solemnly but Mary shakes her head. "No, I want you to be by my side always. You leave me on business trips too long at a time and I hated being away from you. Now that she knows, there's nothing that could stop us right?" asks Mary and Zachariah nods in agreement. Little did they know, they're going to encounter a much bigger problem from Naomi who intends to make everyone's life a living hell.

"Dean? You should eat something. You said you're hungry. I don't want you to go to bed in an empty stomach, sweetie." coaxes Ellen for the third time. They just found out from Mary that Sam has left for campus earlier without telling her. The woman said that her son's probably angry at her for meeting Zachariah. 

"What's happening, aunt? We were all having fun and next thing, I lost my lover and Sam at once? And it's not even my fault? Am I a jinx?" he asks and Ellen scolds him for saying so.

"Don't say those kind of words, Dean. I won't allow it. You're a beautiful person inside out. They left because of circumstances and I'm sure they'll miss you like crazy. Your tight like a joined triplets." she laughs softly as she speaks. Its true, the boys had never been apart except lately due to Cas and Dean's newfound relationship.

But Dean's a classy kid, he never abandons Sam even when he's in love. So Ellen can somehow understands how he felt when the two left him like this but she's going to be positive for him. Dean has one more year of college and she wants to see him graduate. Cas' supposed to end his in a few months while Sammy has a little more than a year ahead of him.

Ellen imagines what life has in store for his nephew, having Cas as his boyfriend. The kid is pious, never miss a single morning prayer in his life and she knows that this unique relationship he established with Dean, tormented his mind and soul. She caught him a few times in tears asking for forgiveness in his prayers to God by the altar at the top landing of the staircase. 

"I miss him. Do you think he'll come back to LA? I'm so scared that he won't.." says Dean sadly that Ellen assures him that Cas' will. The house phone rang and Dean rushes to answer. It's his lover calling from the airport and without preamble, he expresses his love and devotion to that man. Ellen smiles to herself, relief that Cas keeps his promise to her nephew to stay in touch. 

Then she remembers her brother John who's probably on his way to their place. Fear sets in as she watches Dean hangs up the phone, smiling sadly at her.

"They're boarding now, aunt. I think I'm going to lie down in bed. I don't feel so good.." he says weakly and walks away. 

Ellen reaches for the phone and dials Mary's number. The woman's still not home yet and Ellen doesn't know what to do with herself. She thought of moving out closer to Dean's dorm in campus. She doesn't mind renting a room with someone else, as long as John can't find them. 

Cas watches his mother stares out of the window in silence. He's about to chat up with her when the stewardess offers them beverages. Naomi orders a hard liquor instantly without hesitation. That's the first, thought Cas. She never drinks in a plane, afraid of what might happened later if she's drunk and the flying machine's in trouble. They're in the first class and the seats are mostly empty. 

"Mother, do you wanna talk about it? There's no one to hear our conversation." he says carefully but she just shakes her head.

Cas leans back in his seat and his mind automatically drawn to Dean and their conversation earlier. He'd promised his beautiful lover that he'll be back soon but looking at his mother now, he thought that he should wait. It's a horrible blow for her to have her own best friend betrayed her like this. Cas can't imagine losing Dean to Sam one day. He quickly shakes the silly notion off his head, almost laughs at the absurdity. And as if reading his mind, Naomi speaks without looking away from the window, the glass of amber liquid, hangs loosely in her hand.

"Once you're betrayed Castiel...it's hard to trust again. To think that I helped her through her divorce before and helping her son through his education. Hmmph!" she snorted in disgust.

"Slut..." she adds softly as an afterthought. Then turns to Cas and says. "I think it's best to sell both our mansion and the cottage, what do you think? That sinful nest housing sinful people. Even Ellen's sinful for keeping the affair from me. What have I done to deserve this, really, Castiel? I've been nothing but generous towards each and everyone of them but look at how they treated me!" 

Cas clears his throat and gives a wan smile to the stewardess who's startled by his mom's raised voice.

"It's not Ellen's fault, mom. She tried talking to Mary too but ..well..you know and please if you sell the house, where would Ellen stay? She's lived there for so long and had taken care of the house very well. I adored her mom, she's very kind and caring towards me and Dean.

Naomi looks at him and says,"About Dean. I know you care about him but you shouldn't act on your feelings, Castiel. Please. Learn from these mistakes we all made. There's only one true love, my son. Only God cares and if you still go against his judgement, you too will pray the price. I don't want to see you get hurt, my son. There's punishment on earth and also after we die. Look, I'm being punished now and I don't want you to get hurt too."

Cas can't find any words to argue with his mother because she's somewhat right. That was what he learned all his life, the right and the wrong in living this temporary life on earth? But Dean loves him and he loves Dean. He didn't feel sinful except when desire takes over when they're alone together. Will Dean ever accept his love without deep physical intimacy? Has he any right to deprive his beautiful lover of all these things that'll make their love complete? Dean's like the air in every part of his being, without him, Cas can barely function and he knows that Dean feels the same way. But what about sin? The thought itself requires an act of contrition on his part as a pious person. He can't let himself be a hypocrite. Its one way or the other.

He shuts his eyes and willed for these bombarding questions to go away.


	32. Chapter 32

That night after Naomi settled in bed, Castiel calls Dean in his old bedroom on the third floor of the townhouse. Dean sounds so sad that he wish he's there to hold him tight.

"Please don't starve yourself. You always do this, Dean when you're upset." Cas scolds his lover for missing his meals since he left.

"I don't. I will eat later..I promise" whines Dean lightly. He doesn't want to talk about his growling tummy. He wants to talk about when his lover will come home.

"My mom just went to bed, Dean. We had a long talk, sweetheart...I'm gonna get a shower first before I eat dinner. Dean, do this for me, please. Go to the kitchen now, I wanna hear you eat something. Go on." urges Cas gently.

"Baby, I told you I'm not hungry. I will have a very good breakfast tomorrow morning, I promise." replies the blonde instantly but Cas wouldn't hear any of his excuses. Its too often nowadays.

"Now, Dean. Go." he forces because Dean's been complaining about gastric pain lately and it worries both him and his aunt. Dean sometimes forgot to eat especially when he's engrossed in his paintings that they have to remind him every single time. He hears the blonde grumbles softly as he shuffles his feet to the kitchen. Ellen's there and he could hear her asks if Dean's ready to eat his dinner. Cas shakes his head, smiling at his boyfriend's stubbornness.

"Pass the phone to aunt, Dean. I wanna speak to her." he orders gently and Dean responds ,"You gonna complain about me right, aren't you, babe?" Cas laughs softly and says,"Yes. I wanna report to my ally."

Dean hands the phone to his aunt who looks at him questioningly. "The master of this mansion wants to speak to you. Here." he says mockingly and Cas laughs on the phone. Ellen's happy to hear his cheerful voice and both began gossiping about their favorite blonde in the kitchen.

Dean feeds a huge spoonful of pasta into his mouth as he stares at his aunt who smiles knowingly at him while listening to his boyfriend on the phone.

"How is he, aunt Ellen?" asks Cas with concern and Ellen turns to busy herself with cleaning the stove with one hand. "He's so sad, Cas. I uh..hang on! I forgot the clothes in the dryer, don't wanna shrink any of your shirts further!" She made the excuse and rushes out of the kitchen towards the laundry room downstairs. Dean watches her curiously but otherwise went on eating his meal. He's hungry now and the food his aunt cook is so delicious.

Ellen closes the door and hopes Dean can't hear her conversation if he passes by.

"Dean's okay now but Cas. John's released from prison and I think he's coming here. I don't know who told him where we are, do you have any idea?" asks Ellen hurriedly, turning the dryer's dial to drown out her own voice. 

"What?! Oh God! What else did he tell you, El?" asks Cas urgently. "Nothing, just can't wait to see Dean again, he says. He didn't say when though Cas but I wouldn't take any chances. I'm thinking of moving out of here." she confesses that Cas blurts out,"NO! Please, don't El! I will make sure he doesn't get to any of you. I will get a security to guard the house, don't you worry about this. Please don't leave!" 

Ellen smiles warmly at his imploring words. Cas worries about her, she knows but more for Dean, afraid to lose his love.

"You don't have to do that. It's too expensive. I will be diligent and I'll ask Dean to go back to his dorm." she suggests and hears Cas tired sighs. He's mad at his helplessness being far away from the both of them. 

"Where's Sammy?" he asks as an afterthought.

"He went back to campus. Apparently, Mary decided to be with your dad. I'm so sorry, sweetheart." she says sadly but Cas assures her that he'll be okay. 

"There's no point in forcing love that's not there anymore right, aunt Ellen? I hope Dean will love me forever. I miss him so much it hurts."

Ellen listens to him and says,"Be patient, Cas. Dean loves you so much too and thank you for caring for him as much as I do." Cas thanks her and then she asks,"What are you going to do with your time besides spending it with your mom?" 

"I'm gonna study hard so that I can graduate soon, get a job and move us all into a highly secured neighborhood in LA. I don't know if my mom will join me...you know how she feels about me and Dean but I will try my best to convince her." says Cas, trying to convince even himself of his own words to her.

"That's very sweet and kind of you. I hope she'll open up to your love relationship with Dean." says Ellen sincerely and opens the door to the laundry room. Dean's standing outside looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"Oops! The little devil's here. Wait a sec." she chuckles and passes the phone to her nephew. 

"That's a super long secretive gossip, Cas! What did you guys talk about that I can't hear? You both treat me like a five year old sometimes!" whines Dean as he walks up to his bedroom. Ellen laughs at him, walking back to the kitchen to clean up.

"I said nothing but tell her I love and miss you sweetheart." replies Cas softly but Dean's not convinced. "Liar. I know you guys bitching about me for not eating." 

Cas laughs but scolds him lightly for swearing. "I'm sorry.." Dean apologizes and lets his body drops into bed.

"I thought that we could spend the night together in my room, baby..I need you..."he coos softly that Cas heart wrenches with want and need. He's been wanting that too but so afraid that Dean might wanna go further again. It's getting harder to resist his blonde beauty lately that Cas almost gives in to his lust.

"Dean..please sweetheart...you know it's hard for me. Let me figure this out carefully. Will you still love me if we don't do it, Dean, answer me please, I need to know.." begs Castiel, his hand itching to reach for his hardening organ inside his pants. With Dean, he doesn't need to see his face to get turned on. That sweet, yearning voice alone is enough to send Cas' soul spiraling out of control.

Dean sits up automatically when he hears Cas confession. That's the first time his lover ask him that and he knows the answer already.

"I love you not because of that Cas. You're the one for me and I will myself to live without any form of intimacy as long as we're together. I swear to you.." 

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

Dean fell asleep with his lover's still on the phone listening to his soft breaths. Cas is tired but he can't stop worrying about his future with Dean, the fate of his parents union, John and Michael. His mother confessed at dinner about his brother, cheated off his share by his latest business partner again. Cas is always skeptic of his activities because he's a heavy gambler and a womanizer.

Mike has been spending his time and their parents money in most casinos in the strip of Las Vegas the past couple of months but whenever he won some money, he will throw it away on booze and women instead.

Recently, he's been bugging their mother for more money, promise to pay her back when he earned some. Zachariah has given up on his first born for a while now. Naomi used to help Mike but when she finds out that he's been misusing the funds she gave, she stopped. Needless to say, Michael's pissed off and then begged her to sell the mansion in Venice, Los Angeles but Zachariah won't hear of it. The old man has his own selfish reason to keep the old house. 

Michael who wasn't aware of his parents problem, finds out about John in prison and give the phone number and address where his son lives. He knows that Dean and Ellen will be force to leave their family vacation house when the loser shows up later.

Castiel puts the phone at the side and grabs the bible in the drawer. Since sleep still alludes him, he decides to read instead. Five minutes into reading, he hears a faint laughter from Dean and picks up the receiver. Dean's having a dream and calling out Sam's name. He smiles and wishes for his lover to dream about them instead and then ends the call. 

Sam lies in his bed in his dorm listening to the loud rock music trying to drown his dilemma. His mother's letter saying that she'll be meeting the married fucker, retaliation on Cas' and Dean...that's the most confusing one of all. Sam tries to identify this new feelings he has for Dean. He loves Dean as a friend, there's not a single doubt in that but why is he yearning to hear his voice, be near him lately. No one understands him like Dean does and if Cas isn't around, maybe they'll be much closer. One thing for sure, Dean's a sight to behold. His features perfect and Sam can never gets tired of looking at his face. That's why Cas always stares at him too but then the man's in love. What is HE feeling now? He has no right to think of Dean that way but yet he feels that its quite okay. Frustrated, he gets up and turns up the music higher. 

There's almost no one in the building except few very hardworking Asian kids studying in their rooms and the libraries anyway. Suddenly he recalls Dean always say, "Sammy dearest....please turn it down a little..for me..?" He smiles at the memory and turns off the player before snatching the phone on the side table to call Jessica. His girlfriend practically screams into the phone when she hears his voice.

It's the first time, Sam finds her so annoying that he abruptly ends the call and turns off the ringer. He missed Dean, hanging out with him, that is, he corrects himself. They had great fun that morning, until that incident happened. Sam wants to call him but saw that its too late. It's almost two anyway. Maybe Cas is with him too, holding him close without doing anything. What a fool, Sam thought to himself. Exhaustion takes over and he finally grabs his pillow, falling asleep right away. Dreaming of Dean and their time together.


	34. Chapter 34

"Hey..how are you?" asks Dean gently, calling Sam first thing when he wakes up, feeling bad for not reaching out to his dear friend the day before. 

"I'm good...you?" responds Sam, pulling out his hoodie from the closet. He's about to have a run around the campus when Dean calls him.

"I'm good...just worried about you. You sure you're okay, Sammy?" asks Dean again and Sam laughs softly.

"I am Deanie..sorry I didn't say goodbye yesterday..too mad bout lotsa things." confesses Sam and Dean hums in agreement.

"I'm all alone here, Sam. Cas left too..you know?" admits Dean sadly that Sam's taken aback a little by the news.

"Why?" he asks and Dean sighs. "He wants to be with his mom for awhile..till she's better. I..uh...I wish you've not left..I miss hanging out with you...we didn't get to spend much time together these past months, Sammy.." Dean laments and Sam's heart warms at his admission. Dean misses him just as much but he's back in his dorm with all his things. There's no way he'll come home when his mother insisted on continuing her affair with Zachariah.

"Dean, why don't you come back to campus? Stay with me in my dorm. There's no one here, we can hang out everywhere, the pool, the gym, the recreation room or even the library! It's like a ghost town here, you'll love it. Remember you hate loud noise?" teases Sam and Dean chuckles softly over the phone. Sam realizes that he really loves the sound he makes and again astound himself with this new discovery. Dean has been his friend for years but only now he begins to notice and appreciate the blonde much more. What's happening? Is he really in love or is this a crazy phase between friends? He's not exactly lonely..he has Jessica...but she's no longer appealing to him. Dean's the last thing he thinks about before going to bed and the first thing he wonders about when he gets up.

"I'd love to Sammy...but I feel bad about leaving my aunt so soon. She's so happy to have me here. Maybe I'll come back three days earlier before class starts? We have the same schedule...almost, right?" Dean queries but Sam's heart plummets. Who is he kidding? He's not Cas whom Dean will come running at the first invitation, he thought bitterly. 

"Sam?" Dean calls when Sam didn't reply immediately. Sam clears his throat and says that its okay, that he understands and he's running late for his morning jog. "Talk to you later, Dean. Say hello to Aunt Ellen, tell her I'm sorry for leaving her without saying goodbye."

Dean stares at the phone long after Sam ended their call. He wonders if it's just his imagination that Sam sounded disappointed with his decision. He notices that Sam has been behaving rather differently around him. More gentle and much more caring. When they roughhouse, Sam's not as rambunctious as he was before. Dean thought that maybe his tall friend has changed, more matured maybe but he's still the same towards others, even Cas. Why was Sam more cautious around him though? As if he's a fragile china, easily break at the slightest touch and the frequent stares he receives lately, could easily be misconstrued as fondness. And the subtle yet hurtful remark he made about Cas inability to be a good boyfriend? Dean's heart beat fast in his chest. What if..? 

"Huh..." Dean huffs, trying to calm his inner turmoil. "Stop this silly vanity, Dean! Sam's a dear friend! He's straight as an arrow! All the sexy pretty girls he dated are his proofs!" Dean scolds himself and then he hears his aunt's voice outside his door.

He opens it and Ellen looks at him curiously. "Who are you talking to?" she asks since Dean's not on the phone. Dean gives her a silly expression and replies,"Nothing, aunt. Just berating myself for waking up so late. Sorry I didn't help make breakfast, was on the phone with Sam earlier." 

Ellen tells him that its alright and breakfast ready. "How's he, Dean?" she asks and Dean nods, saying Sam's doing alright. "He asked if I'd like to stay in his dorm for the rest of Spring break but I declined his offer. I wanna spend it with you, aunt.." Dean confides, kissing his aunt on both cheeks.

Ellen smiles and whispers a soft thank you. She's about to head for the kitchen when Dean calls out to her. 

"Yes sweetie?.." she turns and asks. Dean looks at her for a bit and then shakes his head. He wants to talk to her but then changes his mind. He maybe overthinking stuffs and its not right to assume Sam's intention towards him."Nothing, aunt." Ellen's not easily convinced when she approaches him slowly. She knows when there's something bothering her nephew.

"What's wrong? You can tell me, Dean." she encourages but Dean just shrugs and replies,"Nothing." again before heading towards the shower, leaving Ellen worrying about him.

 

 


	35. Chapter 35

Sam jogs past a few pretty and sexy girls throwing flirtatious remarks at him but he ignores them and continues his run. He stops abruptly after a few feet and then turns around. They laugh at him and saunters into the campus gym and Sam's thinking, what the hell? He never does that before in his life.

Sam, the attention seeker especially the ones he gets from those kind pretty, sexy girls now couldn't even bother to give them a smile. Sam's sure with just a small chat he'll get laid before even getting their numbers. Sam, the playboy who loves to fuck women now turns his attention away from potential bed warmers. He blames his strange behavior entirely on exhaustion. He'd run three times round the huge campus was ready to get a hot shower when the sexy skanks passed by.

For curiosity sake, he peers down on the front of his sweat pants. Those girls in their super short shorts and round boobs didn't even give him a hard on. Fuck! What's wrong with him?! That truly was the FIRST! He takes in a much needed breathe and runs faster than before.

Ellen and Dean's having a quiet breakfast in the kitchen when Castiel calls. The lovers spoke for a while before Dean ends the conversation and tells his aunt that his lover has hired a security company to watch over them. They'll be coming over soon.

"Oh, he really meant it, then." says Ellen before telling Dean of the phone conversation she has with Cas. 

"We'll have no privacy. Is it okay with you, aunt? I can tell Cas to cancel their service, if you want?." offers Dean but Ellen quickly thought that the professionals could stop John from harrasing them. She's willing to sacrifice her privacy than compromising Dean's safety. Dean agrees though he worries more for her than himself. He's grateful that his boyfriend cares for them enough to pay for something so expensive. It is costly to get daily personal security guards in Los Angeles.

"That's a very short call you both had, Dean. Is Naomi okay?" asks Ellen, concern. She's been trying to get in touch with her friend but failed. Naomi still refuses to talk and it affects Ellen dearly. She's living in a house where the owner now hates her. It isnt a good feeling and she wish to repair their friendship as soon as possible.

 "Cas said that a distingushed priest from Rome is visiting him. He sounds excited to meet the man, aunt...but I have a bad feeling about this and I don't know what it was.." Dean confides and Ellen somewhat knows what he meant. It is huge news indeed and she wonders if Naomi planned this meeting.

 "Am I losing him, aunt?" He asks sadly, his heart clenches at his own words. Ellen reassures him that he wont, that Cas wont abandon him or their love.

"Be patient, Dean..he'll come home soon...I'm certain of it.." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that my chapters are short but please bear with me. Im writing in between doing otr important stuffs like paperwork. Your understanding is much appreciated. Thank you for reading. Will try my best to write more tomorrow. Nyty nyt


	36. Chapter 36

Cas hugs his mother and whispers a soft thank you for her generosity. Naomi has offered to take care of the security agency bill instead of letting him uses some of his trust fund. Castiel's three years shy from getting the huge sum of money due to him. 

She gazes at her son with such adulation and pride. Castiel's one of the chosen few to join the famous seminary in Italy. It's high Priest is on his way to meet them for lunch. Her late parents would've been so proud of their grandson, she thought sadly. She hopes that this plan she has for Cas would make her son forget about his love for Dean.

She even convinced his Professor that it's just a phase he's going through and that it's purely Dean's fault for luring her son into sinful acts. She also revealed that the blonde's a very liberal art student, with a damaged soul due to the incestuous rape by his father. Appalled, Cas' Professor hastily recommends the star student highly to his European counterpart. Under the foreign Priest heavy tutelage, Castiel's days will be filled with religious and humanitarian activities for the next two years.

Naomi chooses to keep this information till the holy man tells Cas himself. It's the only way she knows her son won't object.  

"I'm going to call Dean now and tell him that you're doing this for them, Mom! Aunt Ellen's been worrying about losing your friendship and this would mean alot to her." exclaims Cas excitedly, ready to reach for the phone at his side when his mother stops him gently.

"It's okay sweetheart. I will tell her myself. Why don't you get ready and meet me at the courtyard? I think the Priest is already on his way to our house. Go on my son.." she urges with a warm smile that Cas kisses her on both cheeks and walks to his room upstairs.

"So, do you want me to get on the phone with the security agency, Naomi?" asks her diligent assistant promptly. 

"You'll do no such things, Rebecca. In fact I want those two out of my house. Please arrange as soon as possible." she replies coldly and adds,"As for the cottage next door, put it up for sale at the cheapest price in the market." 

"While Mary still in it?" asks Rebecca curiously.

Naomi smiles with satisfaction and replies,"Absolutely."

Ellen's left with no choice but to force her nephew to eat his dinner. Dean's been moping all day from not receiving any calls from Castiel since that morning. She tries to assures him that his lover could be very busy with his visitor but Dean's not easily placated. Every second without hearing Cas voice torments his heart and mind. 

"Call Sammy, Dean. Talk to him, I'm sure he could calm you down where I can't.." suggest Ellen worriedly after he finally finishes his casserole dish.

Dean looks up from his plate and says. "I'm sorry for being like this. I'm just so worried about him, aunt.." Ellen nods readily and takes away his plate. "Go on. I'll clear this.." she offers and watches Dean walks slowly into the living room.

Sam's having an argument with Jessica over the phone. The pretty blonde rages at him for alluding her parties and causing her much embarrassment with her friends. It hurts her popularity she claims that Sam got so fed up with her superficial behavior that he hangs up on her. So when his phone rings seconds after the line went dead, he's actually growls,"Stop calling me, bitch!!" 

"Sam..?" Samuel almost drops the receiver when he hears Dean's voice. 

"Hey Dean...I'm sorry...thought that was Jessica." Sam explains, laughing nervously.

"Oh..it's okay...uh..is it a bad time? I can call back tomorrow, Sammy.." offers Dean but Sam quickly replies,"NO! I'm good, Dean...I can..I uh wanna talk to you..are you alright?" 

"Not really, Sammy...it's about Cas." responds Dean quietly, feeling bad to start their conversation that way but he can't help it. Fortunately, Sam's sincere in wanting to know about his lover that soon the conversation flows smoothly between them and eventually the tall guy manages to even make Dean laughs a little.

"Thank you, Sammy. You always know how to cheer me up. How are things with you and Jess?" asks Dean finally able to put his mind of Cas for a bit and asks about his dear friend's life.

"I'm breaking up with her, Dean. We're so not compatible." says Sam plainly that Dean's a little surprise with his admission.

"How come, Sammy? I thought you said that you're both like two peas in a pod? What happened?" asks Dean curiously. Both him and Cas thought the same too, that the couple are so much alike that they could end up together forever.

Sam hesitates a little before giving him an answer. "I think I'm interested in someone else.." he confesses and Dean laughs at him.

"Oh God, Sammy! That's so fast! Who is she?!" asks Dean, still laughing and Sam laughs along with him but softly.

"Well...it's for me to know and you to find out.." 

 


	37. Chapter 37

Ellen sighs with relieve when she looks at a happier Dean. She knows that Sam would lift his spirits. She misses Cas too, it's hard not to since the young man grew up right before her eyes. She wonders what happened to him too because it's so unlike Cas not to reach out to Dean this long. Maybe Naomi really needs his attention that guilt overcomes her senses again. Ellen should try call her friend again after Dean hangs up. Mary's not home too when she calls, most probably spending time with Zachariah somewhere. 

"Let me guess.." says Dean and Sam chuckles softly at him to go ahead.

"The beautiful red head, Anna Milton?" asks Dean and Sam says,"Nope..why do you think it's her though, Dean?"

"Cause I think that she's so different from Jess? Maybe opposite attracts you now?" teases Dean and Sam explains gently,"You're right but it's not her... though...she shares your temperament.."

"Why are you comparing her to me..?" asks Dean, laughing nervously upon hearing his words. Sam's stuck with an answer, afraid to scare Dean but wish he could confess his feelings at the same time. No, too soon, he thought to himself.

"I'm not...forget what I said, must be too tired from reading all day..!" complains Sam while throwing the little ball in his hand at the wall. The thing bounces back and he manages to catch it. It's nice to be able to do that when there's no one next door. Again, wishing so much that Dean would come and stay with him there for the rest of the Spring break. Would the blonde be alarm if Sam tries to kiss him? He wonders what it's like to kiss Dean's pretty and inviting lips. Surely better than kissing Jess' with that forever annoying sticky lip gloss!

"You read??" asks Dean bewildered. Every second talking to Sam feels like talking to a new person. "Yeah..why? Is it hard to believe, Dean? You're the one who always encourage me to read, remember?" reminds Sam with a little laugh. It's nice to surprise the object of his affection, since it's genuine. He truly enjoys reading those books that Dean recommended before. 

"Oh no, Sammy. I believed you, just a little shock that's all. Thank you for listening to my advice, though..?" laughs Dean before bidding his friend good night.

"What will you be doing tomorrow?" asks Sam in a hurry and Dean says that he might go to town to buy some paint stuffs.

"I'll meet you there? Maybe we can have lunch or something?" suggests Sam and Dean agrees immediately for he needs distraction from worrying about Cas constantly.

"Don't worry about Cas. He will call you when he's free, Dean." assures Sam like he could read Dean's mind.

But Dean's Cas always call whenever he's free or not and Sam's words make him wonder. Was his best friend trying to comfort him or pointing out the fact. Has Cas forgotten about him already? Out of sight, therefore out of mind? Dean wouldn't know for they've never been separated for so long. The worrying comes back full force that his silence prompted Sam to ask him again what's wrong?

They end up talking almost the whole night about his lover and when Cas tries calling him, the phone line was busy.

The anxious lover badly wants to tell him that he's leaving for Rome soon.


	38. Chapter 38

Cas can't sleep and it's almost morning. He's restless, pacing the richly carpeted floor constantly in his bedroom while, worrying and wondering why his lover's out of reach. He feels like yelling whenever the busy dial tone greets his ear. Could it be that Dean's phone's off hook and neither him nor his aunt Ellen realizes it? he thought anxiously. His emotions ran high thinking why isn't Dean calling him too.

With forced calm, he began packing his clothes in his suitcase. He recalls the meeting he had with his mother and Father Roberto last night. Their esteemed visitor had accepted his mother invitation to stay till dinner after Castiel agreed to join him in the religious mission in South of Italy for three months. It's a very difficult decision for the undergraduate to make but his mother had almost begged and the priest had assured that it's for a very good cause.

How can Castiel turned either of them down when this was exactly what he's been wanting to do all his life? This mission will give him the experience and lessons he need to open the halfway house in California later. Problem is, he has yet to tell Dean about it and it saddens him to know how this going to affect his beautiful lover but he keeps reminding himself that three months aren't that long. Soon they'll be united and maybe together they can build that organization, by God's grace. 

He lays on his bed and in less than 2 hours, the maid knocks on his door, telling him that Father Roberto has arrive to take him to the airport. Cas manages to brush his teeth and gets dress in record time, all the while staring at the phone, willing it to ring but it doesn't. With a heavy heart, he left his room and his country, heading for Naples, Italy.

Dean only realizes that he's been chatting with Sam for so long when he happens to glance at the clock on the wall. "Cas!!" he yells that Sam reminds him gently that his boyfriend's must be fast asleep since New York is three hours ahead of them.

"Oh no Sammy! He must think that I forgot about him!" laments the blonde with regret that Sam quickly reasons with him that he could call Cas in a few hours when the man wakes up. 

"Don't worry, Dean. I'm sure he'll still be there.." chuckles Sam softly. "Try and get some sleep in the meantime, we're going to town for lunch remember?" he adds and Dean mutters okay before ending the call. He itches to call his lover in the east coast but refrains himself from doing so. Castiel needs his rest and Dean should wait patiently till he calls. It's hard when guilt and regret fill his heart and mind.

During the flight,when Father Roberto explains briefly about their modest accommodation along with the lack of telecommunication services where the mission's held, Castiel heart sinks. He knows that there's no way for him to contact Dean except at the airport in Naples. 

"Sleep Castiel. I will wake you up when it's time for them to serve your meal." offers Father Roberto gently, when he sees the dark circles under the young prodigy's eyes. Cas must be very excited for this mission, maybe..they could extend his service for a year instead, thought the Priest hopefully.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

Dean waits the whole night to call Cas in New York but the moment Naomi answers flatly that his lover's on the plane ride to Italy, he immediately accuses her for lying. Naomi's response to his outburst breaks his heart into a million pieces.

"Castiel realizes his mistake and therefore choose to stay in the Lord's righteous path in grace and glory, away from your sinful influences. He wishes for you to turn your life around and find your own salvation." 

She ends the call abruptly and turns off the ringer before telling Rebecca to disconnect her residential phone line immediately. Her assistant adheres without hesitation. A distraught Dean, frantically calls Naomi again, to demand Cas whereabouts, if indeed, his lover's heading for Italy, maybe she can at least give an address or contact number where Dean could reach him.

But the phone rings endlessly till reaches the voicemail recording. Dean leaves pleading messages to Cas, to Naomi, to anyone who would listen without relent. The newest messages more pitiful than the last that Ellen finally scrambles out of bed when she hears his harrowing cries in the living room.

"Dean?! Dean?!! What's wrong sweetie?!!." she calls out urgently when she notices his body shakes uncontrollably from crying. She surges forward, holding him, calming him with soothing words while prying the receiver gently from his hand. She listens to the busy dial tone before placing it back in it's cradle.

"He left....Cas left without telling me aunt!" Dean sobs on her shoulder that Ellen hold him tighter.

"Where did he go, Dean?" she asks and Dean tells her what he learned from Naomi. Ellen grabs the phone and calls Naomi but this time, the operated message informs that the number's no longer in service. She places the receiver back and pulls Dean to sit on the couch.

Carefully she tells her nephew that Naomi could've end her phone service. Dean cries openly this time that Ellen reaches out to him again.

"Dean, don't despair my love. I'm sure Cas didn't mean to leave without saying goodbye to you. Naomi's angry and this is just her way of exacting revenge on me or perhaps a perfect opportunity to control her son. Don't cry, sweetheart.." she's almost in tears herself, trying to comfort the desolated young man in her arms.

Exhaustion finally takes over that Dean who alluded sleep the whole night fell into slumber an hour later. Ellen let him settles on the couch while she takes a quick shower and prepares breakfast. The house phone rings and it's Sammy looking for Dean.

Ellen tells him briefly what happen that the tall boy saves her from explaining further by offering to come over right away. Ellen thank him before continuing her tasks in the kitchen. Her heart aches for her broken nephew in the living room but she's grateful that Sammy will be there too to comfort him. She can't help but wonders how Cas' dealing with this sudden news too. Was he willing or was he forced? Her heart goes out to the young man whom she loves like her own son. She never doubts Cas' love for Dean and if this was indeed a dirty scheme by Naomi to separate the lovers, she would not hesitate to fight her friend once and for all.

In less than two hours, Sam arrives and immediately goes to the sleeping blonde. He watches Dean silently, before approaching Ellen in the kitchen.

"Sam!" exclaims Ellen and they hugged. 

"Don't worry, Ellen. I'm here, I'll take care of him. I will always take care of him.." promises Sam while rubbing Ellen's back soothingly.

 


	40. Chapter 40

Just when she thought that Dean's going to be okay with Sammy there, two lawyers turn up at their front door with more damaging news. They wasted no time in reading out Naomi's stringent order on Ellen and Dean to vacate the premises within three days.

A panicked Ellen hurriedly persuades the men to convince Naomi to give her more time. They refuse to entertain her pleadings, instead reading her the trespassing charges if she fails to comply. They also say that the house next door will be for sale with immediate effect.

"FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF YOU BLOODY LEECHES!!" Sam yells and pushes the arrogant lawyers forcefully out of the house. Dean jolts from his sleep, startled by the chaos in the living room. Ellen who's still in distress quickly rushes over to look for Mary but the men already make known their intentions to the blonde first. Ellen runs to her aid when the lawyers read the orders by their client, Naomi out loud without mercy.

Mary's rendered speechless, trying to comprehend the predicament she's going through without Zachariah there to explain or defend her. But Ellen's there to give her the support she needed and that's when she breaks down and cry. Ellen asks about Zachariah. She says he has left that morning on a business trip and will only be back in five days.

Ellen explains calmly to her dear friend that she has suffered the same fate but was allowed to stay for three days. "Come and stay with us, Mary. Sam's home and maybe we can find a new place to stay together. Please, don't cry, we're going to be alright.." assures Ellen firmly while drying her own tears.

She never thought that Naomi would go this far to avenge her loss. 

"Where's my aunt, Sammy?! Why are you shouting?! Who are those men?" asks Dean in a rush as he approaches his friend by the door. Sam holds out his hand for Dean to take as he watches Ellen disappears into his former home with his mother. The lawyers stood outside, waiting for them to reappear obviously. 

"Listen, Naomi wants both you and your aunt to vacate this house in three days but don't you worry, Dean. I will find a new place for your aunt and my mother to stay as soon as possible!" he confides and then adds quickly,"No! I'll do it right now! Do you remember the name of the old man who owns the cottage before?"

"Robert Singer? Why Sammy?" asks Dean instantly remembers the kind old man who used to live next door.

"He once joked with my mom about selling back the house to him if she's tired of it one day. I'm gonna look for him!" says Sam excitedly that Dean nods in understanding of his intention. He doesn't know how Sammy's gonna locate his former neighbor but his friend can be quite a detective when he wants to. Still he asks,"How you're gonna find him Sammy? And what if he already owns a house?" 

Sam gives him a wide, knowing grin and says,"Mr Singer lives in his boat and I'm sure he's still in the canals here somewhere. I just have to remember the name." 

"It's not a name. It's a sign... a Sigil!!" replies Dean enthusiastically.


	41. Chapter 41

Dean and Ellen help Mary pack most of her important belongings while the lawyers arrange for a realtor to deal with the sale of the house. Some of the bigger things she bought throughout the years will be sold to the new tenant and the proceedings will be handed to her accordingly.

Mary cries when she looks at her precious and unique furniture for the last time. She fears Zachariah's reaction later since they were his gifts to her. Ellen holds her close while calming her sadness. Dean, too offers his sympathy even though his own heart is breaking into pieces because of Castiel's sudden departure. He too can't wait for Zachariah to come home and help solve their problems. Sam's away searching for Bobby all over Venice and he prays that his friend will bring good news too. 

"Pray my love. t will calm your heart and mind..." Cas would say to him always. Tears well his eyes at the memories that Ellen pulls him in too. There's no doubt that Naomi arranged for her son to leave the States immediately without his or his father's knowledge. The scorned woman using religion for her selfish and evil purposes! Ellen can't wait to confront her for turning their lives upside down.

Once, Ellen and Mary settle in the bedroom in the mansion, Dean went to his and starts packing but he can't concentrate on his tasks as Cas images haunt his mind. He drops to the floor, leaning his body against the bed and prays for everyone through the relentless tears. Soon he hears his aunt calling his name outside his door. 

He brushes his wet face hastily and opens the door. Ellen's there to comfort her nephew next after she talked to Mary, leaving the blonde feel much better.

"Dean..." she whispers sadly and Dean can only give her a wan smile he's not feeling.

"Why's Naomi so cruel, aunt? I mean...she can just tell me to stop seeing Cas instead of sending him off far away, alone! Cas has so many plans! His future's here, in California!" Dean laments before choking on his sobs that he tries so hard to control.

Ellen hugs him."I don't know, Dean." she replies, kissing his temple hard, she adds,"but please...be patient..remember Cas always says that whenever you're sad sweetheart? Let's I just hope and pray that Cas would call before we move out in three days. We'll find out where he's staying in Italy and you can call and write to him too. Even if you have to fly there and meet him, I will pay for your tickets, Dean. I've saved enough money for you all these years. They're meant for your future education but you can use them, my love."

Dean hugs his aunt tighter and cries on her shoulder. There's no question of how far the loving woman would do for him that he shakes his head fast and pulls away. "I want you to use those money for your new house aunt. Sam's looking for Mr Singer, you remember him don't you?" asks Dean with mild excitement, he even smiles when he mentioned the older gentleman. He and Cas always suspect that their old neighbor was interested in his aunt.

Ellen nods and asks curiously,"Yes, Dean, I remember Robert..but why is Sam looking for him, sweetie?" 

"Sam told me that he would try to get Uncle Bobby to buy the old cottage again so we could rent the place from him instead?" says Dean, though a little unsure about the plan since Sam has to locate the man first.

"Oh but what if Naomi...oh what the hell! If Sam can persuade Bobby to buy it back, the cottage is not her business anymore!" curses Ellen that she makes her nephew's green eyes wide, staring at her with a huge grin on his face.

"You curse, aunt!!" he exclaims with a soft chuckle that Ellen who just realized what she's done, laughs along with him too. 

"Well, I guess only she could bring out the worse in me!" she claims and holds Dean close again.

"Feeling better, sweetheart?" she whispers softly and Dean nods lightly on her shoulder. "Thank you, aunt."

"Don't you worry. We'll find out where your boyfriend is! Naomi can't hide her son forever. Cas loves you so much, he'll find a way too!"

 

 

 


	42. Chapter 42

Cas hands the food tray to the stewardess who looks curiously at him and asks if he's sure about not eating the first flight meal. Cas assures her with a smile that he's not hungry, a little relieve that Father Roberto's fast asleep by his side. One of the important things he learned in religion was not to waste food, but he has absolutely no appetite even though his tummy's rumbling.

He can't stop thinking about Dean coping with his unexpected departure. Cas berates himself for not trying to get in touch with his lover before leaving his house in New York and now he has to find a way to contact him in Naples without the Priest's knowledge! 

His head and heart hurts at the thought of Dean crying for him alone. He hopes that his lover would let Sam or Ellen calm him. Cas' guilt amplified at this clarity that he began praying silently for his lover's well being. He strongly believe that he could survive three months without Dean but now it seems that he can't even handle his longing heart. 

"Castiel?" Father Roberto's voice startles him that he absently brushes off the tears he didn't know he shed.

"Yes, Father?" asks Cas with a forced smile. He truly can't hide his sadness before the older and kind, holy man. 

"Are you alright, son?" asks the Priest, concern that Cas smiles genuinely this time. He hates to worry his mentor unnecessarily. 

"I'm okay...I just missed my family, that's all Father.." explains Cas softly, wondering about the lie he just uttered. He misses his mother but she had let him go to this trip without even a goodbye kiss. He sometimes wonders if she truly loves him? Shaking the negative notions away, he straightens up and excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

Once inside, he washes his face and stares at himself in the mirror.

"This is God's will. He plans this for me and I should embrace this journey without doubts or remorse." he convinces himself while trying his best to clear Dean from his mind, but fails terribly. That beautiful face keeps taunting his mind that he starts sobbing again. He's defaulted on their vows to never leave the other heartbroken. The stabbing in his chest was so sudden, he clutches at it tight, that his body bends over the small sink, trying to control the excruciating pain. Luckily the pain went as soon as it came and when he finally looks into the mirror, he saw that he's perspiring all over.

After hours of searching, Sam finally spots the boat with the unique Sigil. Coincidentally, Robert was docking his prized possession that Sam began shouting eagerly at him. "MR SINGER!!! ROBERT SINGER!!" he yells loudly while running on the jetty to meet the older gentleman. 

Bobby looks at the tall young man heading his way and tries to recall where he'd seen the lad. Recognition flickers on his face when a gasping Sam introduces himself as Mary's son.  

"Hey! It's Sammy, right?! My! you're even taller now kid! Whatcha doin here, anyway?" asks Bobby chuckling when Sam grins gratefully at him. He's happy that Bobby remembers his name. They only met three times years ago when the old man sold his home to his mom.

"You remembered me! That's awesome, Uncle Bobby!" he exclaims cheerfully that Bobby nods in agreement. "You're the tallest and the most mischievous among the three, how can I forget?!" he scolds playfully and asks about Cas, Dean and also Ellen. Sam can't help noticing the tenderness in his voice saying Ellen's name.

"I will tell you all about them, but Uncle Bobby, I have an urgent request from you. We needed your help, please. Help us." says Sam desperately that Robert removes his hat and signals the kid to enter his boat.

"Tell me, Sam." he coaxes gently the moment they settle in his kitchenette.


	43. Chapter 43

Zachariah has been trying to reach Mary but her phone line went on ringing without an answer. He shrugs off his worry since the beautiful blonde loves to go out and have fun, whether to the beach or the movies, alone or sometimes with Ellen. So he tries calling Ellen but there's no one there either.

Maybe the ladies went out together, his thought unconcerned, before joining the corporate meeting with his European counterparts again. He's supposed to go to Italy but they offered to go on his behalf instead, citing his success on the latest huge deal they just sealed with a very reputable company. Zachariah thanked them. He's now free to fly back to Los Angeles and be with his beloved.

Ellen, Mary, Dean and Sam are trying to settle and familiarize themselves in Bobby's medium sized boat. It has two sleeping cabins which he kindly offers to the women while he takes the couch outside. Dean and Sam decided to stay in their dorm before helping the women move into the cottage in three days. Bobby has agreed to buy his old house again and wasted no time in calling the realtor. The price he's offered was half less than what he sold to Naomi before which means that the tyrannical woman really intended to kick Mary out!

He loves the quaint blue cottage he built for his late wife years ago and to have Ellen and Mary live there and take good care of it is more than what he could've asked for. Boat life is for him now and so this arrangements suits everyone.

"Thank you for your kindness and generosity, Bobby. We're so grateful. We will pay you the rent and also attend to your beautiful rose garden without fail. Please come over for breakfast, lunch or dinner whenever you want." offers Ellen sincerely with a warm smile that Bobby blushes and stutters a soft,"Sure.." He's always tongue tied when it comes to the wonderful woman.

Mary watches them with interest, happy that her dear friend has an admirer at last. She's going to encourage the friendship and let them blossom into a romantic relationship. Thoughts of Zachariah hounds her mind that she excuses herself from them. There's a public phone outside an Irish pub for small private boaters like Bobby. Sam watches his mother making her way to the telephone booth, knowing too well that she's going to try calling Zachariah in Europe. But the phone's for local calls only and the disappointment on her face is too profound that he looks away.

"Hey, Sam. You okay?" asks Dean and Sam nods with a smile. "Lets go buy some food for them. I'm sure you're hungry too. Shouldn't let that gastric pain attacks you again, Dean."

His words reminds him of Cas that the hurt comes back full force. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like him." Sam apologizes but Dean quietly tells him that he's going to be okay.

"It's hard because it's still a shock to me, Sammy. I'm gonna be fine soon, you'll see. Come on, it's getting late." urges Dean before telling Ellen their intentions.

"Sam told me about Dean and Cas. I'm sorry to hear about their situation now, Ellen. If there's anyway that I could help, please tell me. I have a few retired detective friends here in Venice and New York. They'll be glad to look for Castiel." offers Bobby readily and Ellen thanked him again for his thoughtfulness. For the first time in her life, she felt so good to have someone taking the rein for a change.

"Bobby, do you have some hard liquor? I really need it." says Mary sadly and Bobby nods at her before heading to his cabinet to retrieve a Vodka bottle. 

"Here you go.." he pass the bottle and a small glass to her. "You want ice or straight up?" he asks. Ellen looks at her dear friend slumps in the seat in defeat. "Straight." Mary replies and Bobby pours some for her. He places the bottle on the table and tells the ladies to lock up the cabinet once they're done. "Oh, she doesn't drink, Bobby." explains Mary winking at Ellen. Ellen shakes her head at her but affirms the words she said. 

"Well, I just worried if the boys get a hold on them, is all...especially your Sammy boy, Mary!" laughs Bobby and the ladies joined him but late that night, the boys did have a few when he's out drinking at the pub. Dean wishes to drown his sorrow and Sam does nothing to discourage him. 


	44. Chapter 44

John groans out loud when the truck he's in hit another pothole. "FUCKIN SHITTY ASS DRIVER!!" he yells knowing that the man can't hear him at the back. John wished that he had punched the man, throw him into the bushes and take the red truck instead. Too late now, he thought, since they're in the middle of a very busy freeway, six hours away from Los Angeles. He can't afford to cross the driver nor the authorities who threatened him with a longer sentence the next time he's caught doing crime again. 

No, John has a different mission this time. It's illegal but it's a family crime. He learned from a Michael Novak that his son, well if Dean's really his, considering his mother a whore, lives in Los Angeles with Ellen. He recalls the year he founds out that his little wife Lilith did fuck someone else the same day they got married. Bitch. What has he not done for her? He was a virgin when she lured him into her fucking web! He married her despite protest from his beloved parents and then raised the child he doubted now if he's his?! FUCK Lilith..and fuck his sister Ellen for not letting him be! Calling the cops on him, made him rot in that shitty prison for fucking eight years!!

"EIGHT FUCKING YEARS!!" he shouts angrily at the top of his lungs. Even the cold evening air fails to chill his mood. He's going to taunt Ellen for money he's sure she has considering her comfortable life in that mansion now. And if she refuses to comply, well guess who's paying the price? How he'd missed Dean's begging and pitiful moans. The kid had sounded so much like his mother, the slutty Lilith in throes of raw passion, wondering how he must looked now, stunning for sure with that bedroom eyes and that sinful lips. John entertains his dirty thoughts of filling Dean's mouth with his cock while rubbing his harden member at the back of the truck.

Sam gazes at his drinking companion with a sly smile on his face. Turns out that Dean's a happy drunk. They've been drinking Bobby's whiskey in the mansion without the adults knowledge. Dean had insisted that they stayed there and wait for Cas to call but it never came. So Sam made the first move, pouring himself a glass, no ice and Dean relented after a while.

"Drink, it relaxes you, Dean. You need it." he encourages and Dean takes a sip. It burned his throat but he welcomes the pain, it takes his mind off Castiel for a bit. One sip leads to another and soon, Dean began to relax and laugh and cry and laugh again. Sam likes this version of Dean, he finds the blonde cute yet hilarious. Apart from being a happy drunk, Dean's also touchy-feely. He freely touches Sam's face and hands without knowing what he's doing and Sam lets him. He feels a little guilty but then thought that this is the only way to get Dean forget about his sadness, yearning for Cas who didn't even have the fucking decency to call his lover. The thought of him infuriates Sam though he tries to hide his contempt from Dean, drunk as the blonde was. 

What stupid excuse for Cas not calling from the Italian airport at least!. It's the fucking nineties and all the phone from all the international airports around the world function perfectly. Little did he know how wrong he was with that theory. Because the minute Cas finally gets through the operator after several failed attempts, Father Roberto calls out to him saying that the car's waiting to take them away.

"Sammmmy....do you remember that...that time...when uh...you ..say to us...somethin..gay...or .fuck..whatisit?" slurs Dean with a small hiccup. He'd just poured himself another and when Sam tries to pry the bottle away from his hand, he hissed at the man. 

"..don't!..this Greygoose good stuff, man!" claims Dean as he raises the almost empty bottle to his eye level. Sam, who could hold his liquor pretty well, only slightly woozy says,"OH! I know...when I call out you guys, Gay, gay gay, right?"

Dean chuckles at the memory and then turns to his friend, his green eyes hazy as he stares into Sam's eyes..."...you knew about...gay stuff..so young, Sammy...maybe...just maybe.." he laughs and then softly adds, " you're gay too.." and then he passes out.


	45. Chapter 45

Michael can't believe his luck. His mother finally lets him have the mansion in Venice. It's not easy to convince her at first but when he promises to take good care of it and also spy on his father at the same time, she relents. The truth is, Naomi just finds out that the blue cottage was bought by the previous owner, Robert Singer and the current occupants now are her enemies, Mary and Ellen. She had screamed at her agents and lawyers who told her that there's nothing they can do about it since she wanted to sell the cottage as soon as possible. Robert had responded first and the deal was sealed.

So when Michael offers to stay in their vacation home next door to Robert, she quickly agrees. First and foremost, she really wants her oldest son to leave since he's been giving her too much trouble lately. Naomi has no time nor patience in dealing with his shenanigans anymore, far away in the West Coast, Michael could check on his philandering father and reports back to her. Naomi is determine to end her husband's love affair with Mary and make him comes back to her where he belongs.

John jolts from his short slumber when the truck he's in suddenly stops to a screeching halt after one of it's tire punctures. He sits up and watch the driver who slams his door shut in frustration before shouting at John for help. John only snickers at him and shakes his head in refusal. "Nope! I ain't helping you! You took the long way, dumbass! We would've been there hours ago!" 

"UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLE! GET OUT OF MY TRUCK BEFORE I HIT YOUR FACE!" the man warned angrily as he opens his truck door to retrieve something which John suspects could be a weapon. He hurriedly jumps out of the vehicle and runs off. No sense getting into a fight with that incensed stranger anyways. It was another two hours before he hitches another ride. And this time, he's cramped between few wooden coops containing live chickens. John curses his fate all the way to Los Angeles.

"Dean....wake up..." Sam calls out softly to his friend who's fast asleep on his chest. They're so drunk that they passed out in each other's arm that night. "Dean..? It's almost noon...Bobby, my mama and your aunt must be wondering about us. Think we should leave.." he adds but only receive soft snores from the blond as a reply. Sam finds him so adorable that he can't help but cards the blond's long bangs lightly from his face.

Dean stirs a little that he quickly stops. "Cas..." Dean mutters softly in his sleep. He's dreaming about his lover and embraces his body tight, thinking that Cas' really there, he forces his eyes to open to look at his beloved but it's Sam staring back at him instead. The horrifying knowledge that it's just a dream and he's been sleeping on his best friend's chest, makes Dean scrambles and pulls himself away. He doesn't miss the disappointment on Sam's face though, due to his panic reaction.

"Sammy..geez...I'm so sorry...I was dreaming about Cas..didn't mean to....." Dean hurriedly explains but Sam cuts him, telling him that it's fine. "We should go back to the boat. The rest must be wondering where we are.." says Sam quietly before leaving the room with the empty whiskey bottle. Dean curses himself for his behavior and follows after him.

Their journey back to Bobby's boat is quiet and awkward. Dean wants to apologize again to Sam but decides against it since it will cause more embarrassment between them. They received lectures from Bobby and Ellen the moment they arrive at the former's boat. Ellen tells them to take a shower before eating their breakfasts. Mary's still fast asleep in the cabin after nursing her sorrows the whole night. Ellen wished her friend would talk it out instead of drinking herself to a stupor. 

Castiel observes the old streets from the small european car he's in all the way to their destination. The further it went, the more remote the places become. Fortunately, the old Italian driver is busy talking away with Father Roberto in their native language that Castiel's free to entertain his sadness for not being able to keep in touch with Dean. He misses his lover so much and prays hard that he will find a way to contact Dean soon. It's barely two days and he's going crazy thinking about his fate for the next three months before berating himself for his selfishness. He's there to do a good cause, to help and to serve as the Lord's servant. His needs and wants should take a backseat for the greater good.

He keeps reminding himself again and again to not let his resolve falter. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for this horrible delay, been so busy with my lil cafe but will write more tonight. I promise! :D thank you for reading!


	46. Chapter 46

Ellen notices the boys are unusually quiet eating their breakfast as Bobby busies himself steering his boat out into the canal heading towards his old cottage, happy to take his boat home at last. Dean keeps stealing glances at Sam who continues to eat his food without looking up once. It worries him in such that he decides to break the ice, knowing that his aunt is watching them curiously too.

"If I offended you earlier, please forgive me. I didn't mean to...and you should've pushed me away, Sammy.." whispers Dean softly, afraid if his aunt hears him.

Sam drops his fork and turns to face him finally. "Is that what you think, Dean? That I'm disgusted with you so close to me? What are we? Strangers? We're closer than that, remember?" asks Sam incredulously. He knows that Dean's aware of his attraction but for their friendship sake, Sam chose to play along with his feign ignorance.

Dean's speechless. He thought that Sam's going to talk about his feelings but apparently, he has been imagining things. Embarrassed, he plays it off with a small laugh and says,"Course, Sammy. It's just... uh..never mind.." He wanted to apologize for holding Sam tight in his sleep thinking about Cas but the point is probably moot since his friend doesn't seem to mind. But he can't erase that look Sam gave when he retreated away earlier in the mansion. 

"Hey, I said it's alright. Let's not talk about it. I know you miss Cas and I hope he'll call you soon. Hate to see you like this, Dean. I remember when he left you a few times, years ago. Even then, you're devastated. I can only imagine how you're feeling now since he's your boyfriend" confesses Sam that Dean nods in agreement. He too hoped that Cas will find a way to reach him too or he'll suffer a broken heart. This is worse than any of the previous separations they had experienced.

"Thanks Sammy...for being with me..." Dean confides sincerely that Sam tells him that he's always there for him.

"I mean, not just physically, emotionally. You're a true friend, Sammy." Sam gives him a wan smile and excuses himself to talk to Bobby.

Ellen moves to sit next to her nephew and asks what happened between them. Dean says nothing but she doesn't believe him so he tells her everything.

"Do you think he likes you that way, Dean?" asks Ellen curious. Dean shrugs and sighs. "I dunno what to think. Maybe I miss Cas so much that I'm overthinking things, aunt." 

Ellen reaches for his hand and grips it, assuring him silently that everything's going to be alright. "Cas will call. I know he will, Dean. The kid is crazy about you." 

Dean kisses her cheeks and whispers a thank you. "I'm so glad that you have a home now, aunt. Robert's kind and I think he likes you too."

Ellen throws him an irritated glance and says,"I'm old, he's old, nothing of that sort happening, you hear me, young man? Now don't go around saying things like that, it makes me uncomfortable." She huffs as she clears his plate. "You didn't eat your food again, Dean. Don't you care about your health??!" she scolds and place the plate back before him. "Finish it." 

It feels like forever till the car finally stops and the driver announces cheerily in heavily accented English that they have arrived. Cas lets out a discreet sigh while the Priest, wastes no time in getting out of the small vehicle to stretch his legs. He's a huge man and Cas' certain that he's suffered throughout the journey in the cramped space. 

The driver takes them to the farthest end of the street where the missionary is located where vehicles are not allowed to enter. The sight almost shock Castiel who had never seen poverty in real life except on television. His eyes brim with tears as the poor children rush towards them to give them a hug, with huge smiles on their faces. They must be feeling thankful for the help that came at last, Cas thought sadly to himself. Gone was his own desolation when he witnessed the more important tasks before him. The orphans that ranges from ages five to preteens needs his love, care and support. There are women too but they're cared for in a separate buildings by the nuns. 

The priest in charge of the missionary, takes Cas and Father Roberto to their rooms. After his mentor was shown his, the old priest takes Cas to his room at the end of the hall. 

"I am so sorry, Signore Castiel. I did not expect your visit so I hope that this room will be alright with you?" asks the holy man apologetically. Cas nods and said thank you and that he'll be okay.

"I just like to know if there's a phone in your office that I can use? Or a public phone in the street, somewhere, Father?" The man shakes his head slowly with a sympathetic smile before leaving him alone to settle. Cas thanks him quietly and enters his room. It's so dark and dingy, not a lamp or a light switch to be found. Only a candle, a match and a bible on the nightstand. The single bed is old and creaky with a mattress so thin that the metal base pokes through his bottom when he sits. At the foot of the bed, stood an old single door wardrobe for him to put his clothes. He stares at his huge luggage, there's no way all his clothes will fit in there. Since he's not yet a Priest, he could wear civilian clothes daily. He then removes his wallet from his pocket and looks at his picture with Dean in it. He kisses it and puts it in the nightstand drawer before lighting the candle and grabs the bible.

"Dear Lord in heavens. Thank you for bringing us here safely and please take care of my loved ones at home, especially him that I love."


	47. Chapter 47

Mary appears finally and Ellen asks her if she's okay. The blond just nods weakly and apologizes for sleeping in but Ellen brushes her off saying that they're on the way back to their old street. Mary's face brightens a little and then she asks for her son.

"Sammy's out there with Bobby. I think he's learning to steer the boat, Mary." Ellen states and Mary smiles. "Well, that's my boy alright. Always wanna try something new." she admits before turning to Dean. "Try to find out Naomi's new number and asks for Cas. If she won't entertain you then let me handle her. She can separate me and her husband, I don't really care now but she shouldn't do this to the both of you. Don't you worry, I'll handle her..I'll handle her.." Mary promises as she walks to the shower stall. Ellen turns to Dean.

"You took almost half an hour to finish your food, Dean! I think you should see the doctor. I'm worried." Ellen confesses and Sam who just came down agrees with her instantly with his eyes fixed on Dean from the doorway. "I'll take him, aunt Ellen."

Dean scoffs at the both at them, saying that there's nothing's wrong with him that he's just a slow eater but Sam's not hearing any of it. "No, you're depressed and I won't allow you to hurt yourself." Dean's about to protest but the tall man beats him to it."You're going today with me, Dean. Period." Sam then walks back upstairs to Bobby, leaving Dean baffled that he's ordered about in front of his aunt like a child. He's mad but his aunt seems pleased that Sam's taking some action. Dean grumbles to himself but Ellen reminds him that Sam's only looking out for his well being.

"He's trying to control me, aunt! Cas' my boyfriend but he never commands me so why must I listen to him?! I told you both that I am fine! I miss Cas, yes! but I AM fine! Why won't you believe me?!" Dean argues heatedly but Ellen replies with patience.

"Dean..it's just Sammy's way to show that he cares.. you should know him by now, sweetie, that he's a man of action. Not that I think less of your Cas, it's just that they're both so different. Let Sammy take care of you in his absence. You may looked fine but we both know that you're hurting inside." 

Dean's anger now combined with such sadness that he begins to cry upon hearing his aunt's words. "Dean..." Ellen beseeches softly as she approaches him fast at the table to give him a hug.

"Why did he leave just like that? Without a call or explanation, aunt? What have I done wrong? I'm afraid of what's happening to him, to us! I know I wanted more from this relationship but he can't just abandon me without a word!" cried Dean softly on his aunt's shoulder. She holds him tight trying to find the right words to say but knows that firstly, she must calm him down. This wasn't the first time she had to do this, all those years that Naomi summoned her son back to New York left Dean broken that she had to console him till he's okay. Something inside her wanted to scream at the evil woman for doing this to her nephew again and again. 

She can't wait to get to the cottage, finds out how to contact Naomi or Zach or even Michael and demands where Cas is right now. Mary had promised to do it but it's her duty to ensure Dean's happiness. 

John let out a relieve breathe the moment the truck reaches his destination. He takes a whiff of his stinking clothes due to being stuck with those chickens for three hours and almost gag. He sees a restroom behind the gas station and runs towards it, wishing that he has other clean clothes to wear. He looks and smells like a homeless person with his unshaven face and dirty shirt. He removes the offensive material from his body and begins washing it with the tiny used hand soap on the sink.

"Daddy can't wait to fuck you senseless, Deanie boy" he mutters and chuckles to himself as he scrubbed his soiled shirt furiously.

While John's struggling with his journey to Venice, Michael is enjoying his first class seat in the airplane heading towards Los Angeles. He already envisioned the things he'll do with that mansion. Running a discreet high class brothel for the elite Californians would certainly ensure his income. Hmm....not women prostitutes for sure because it's too obvious. Saucy, gorgeous twinks for suppressed, closeted, gay businessmen, lawyers or even priests. 

Michael smiles wider when he thinks of his brother and Dean. Well, Cas is away, maybe Dean could try out his potential after all..he has that experience being fucked by his own father. Michael wonders where John is now that he's released. If he's heading west looking for his son, maybe he could help make Michael's task easier. What money can't do for losers like John Winchester.

 

 

 


	48. Chapter 48

Cas' duties at the orphanage begins soon after his morning prayers. He is so busy handling the children who're used to the poorly organized schedules that he's no time for breakfast or even ponder over his personal problems. To make matters worse, the old Priest was summoned to attend an urgent meeting in another town and Father Roberto suffered a sudden onset of high fever. Left with no other choice, Cas leaves the children for a while to seek help from the nuns in the next building to get an ambulance. 

He waited all morning for it that he fears for his mentor's life. The man has been perspiring furiously like he's running a marathon. Cas could only breathe easy when the transport finally came and took the ailing Priest away. Realizing that he's the only one left in charge, Cas rolls up his sleeve and perform his tasks the way he knows best work for him and the children. It's not easy, the language barrier between him and his charges is pretty challenging. Fights break often among the older kids and bullies who taunt the younger ones aren't easy to deal with.

Though they seem to accept his existence, he knows that it will take a longer time for them to trust him and he to break through to them. The ones that readily greeted him yesterday were mostly new and it somehow gave Cas some kind of encouragement to be more patient.

Trust is an important issue he has to tackle slowly for he can't be too strict or too lenient in his approach. One wrong move, one small complain of inappropriateness by him will not be taken lightly by the church. These he'd learned from Father Roberto and also in college. He's a volunteer now and therefore his fate lies in the mercy of the children he's caring for. 

By the end of the day, he's so exhausted that he can barely walk towards his tiny room at the end of the hallway. He hopes that the old Priest will come back soon from his meeting or he has to repeat the same ordeal alone tomorrow. Not that he's complaining, it's just to be thrown without proper supervision from a senior makes him feel so down and useless. Sitting in the quietness of his room, all thoughts of the day, Father Roberto, his parents and especially Dean haunts his mind. Without realizing, he breaks down and laments his sorrow to sleep.

Sam waits for Dean to come out of the doctor's room. The blond's been in there for more than half an hour and he's getting scared, wishing so much that he's allowed to hear his diagnosis. When Dean appears with a small smile, Sam lets out a sigh of relieve and quickly approaches him.

"What did the doc said?" he asks hurriedly and Dean tells him that it's only mild stress and also gastric. Sam looks at him expectantly and he scolds the man for not believing him. 

"Look, I'm telling you the truth alright? Do you really want me to have something serious or what, Sammy?" asks Dean impatiently that Sam shakes his head fast and said,"No. I'm just wondering how come you took so long in there if it's just that, Dean. Please, if there's anything else, just tell me.." 

Dean sighs tiredly before assuring his friend that he's alright. "Come on, Sammy, let's go already. I need to help my aunt settle in her new home." Sam reluctantly agrees and off they went in his car.

Ellen, Bobby and Mary happily rearranging things in the cottage when the doorbell rings. At first they thought that it's the boys but when Mary saw a large unkempt man standing in front of the door, asking for Dean that she shouted out loud for both Ellen and Bobby.

The duo rushed towards her and the sight of John had Ellen trembling inside. The horrible incidents that happened years ago flood her mind but she wills herself to put on a brave front, though her heart's beating like crazy in her desperation to wanting to lie about Dean's whereabouts. She silently prayed hard for the boys to stay away longer in town.

"John. Why are you here?" she asks and John smirks.

"Need you ask, traitor?? I came for my son. Where the hell is he?!" he barks and pushing his way to enter but Bobby stops him fast.

"Take a step back." warns Bobby quietly.

"Who the fuck are you?!" asks John impatiently, not appreciating the stranger's tone one bit.

"I'm Robert Singer, the owner of this house. You put one foot in it, I will call the cops and charge you with trespassing. Don't you mess with me, Winchester." warns Bobby much more sternly this time.

John glares at him but Bobby's not deterred. He'd learned about the man from Ellen from their short talks that she feared her brother's arrival and brutality towards Dean. As long as he's there, he promised her, he will protect all of them the best he can.

"LEAVE." orders Bobby in disgust that John did as he's told. 

Angry, hungry and tired, he can't retaliate Bobby instantly but the resentment he feels for that man who belittle him in front of his traitorous sister is not forgivable. Bobby will pay for this humiliation, the hard way.

"This ain't over, Singer." he warns but Bobby slams the door shut on his face. John grunts as he walks over to the next door. 

Why...it's vacant, he thought and decides to spend the night there. He knows that Dean will come back to the cottage soon. John can wait. He's waited for eight fucking years already. One night won't kill his joy in meeting the lovely boy again. 

"Well. Look what we have here..."he announces happily to himself after breaking into the mansion through the side window.

 

 

 


	49. Chapter 49

 

Dean tries to make small talk with Sam, hoping that his friend won't bring up his condition again. The truth was the doctor had warned him of stomach ulcer if he left his gastritis untreated. Dean has refused to take any medicine, promised the doctor that he'll eat properly so he won't worry his aunt or Sam needlessly.

The doctor wasn't too pleased about his decision that he made Dean come back for another appointment in two weeks to see any improvement. Dean quickly agreed but now, sitting next to Sam in the car, with his stomach aching, he tries his best not to show his discomfort.

"Sammy, I feel like having a hamburger. Can we stop by the diner first?" he asks that Sam immediately rewards him with a warm smile. "Of course, Dean."

Ellen's glad the boys having dinner in town that she encouraged Sam over the phone to take his time and not to worry about her moving in since Bobby and Mary helping her anyway. She hopes that John left the neighborhood and never return then thanked Bobby for his intervention. The kind and shy gentleman only respond her with a smile. 

Michael sees red when he finds John snoring away in his parents' bed. He kicks the man's leg hard and yells at him to get off. Startled and dazed from sleepiness, John obeys the order he thought came from his prison warden. But when he sees that it's only Michael, his demeanor change that he yells back at the younger man to leave him alone.

"Get up you fool! Meet me downstairs now. I wanna have a talk with you." commands Michael. Baffled, John asks,"What about?!"

"Just fucking do as I say Or I will call the cops on you, John Winchester." warns Michael steely before turning his heels and leaves the room. John quickly takes it as a good sign because he hates cops and doesn't wish to see one anytime soon or ever. He knows he can somehow trust Michael who gave information about Dean and Ellen whereabouts before. Maybe he has a shady project for me, John chuckles happily as he trails after him.

Right in the middle of the night, Castiel's sleep was interrupted by incessant knocks and urgent voices calling his name outside his room. He rushes to open the door to find the children jumping up and down in a panic. "Signore Castiel!! Il incendio!! Il incendio!!" they shouted, fear written all over their small faces. Thankfully, Cas knows what it means. He commands them to take him to where the source is while grabbing the old fire extinguisher along the way. Apparently, two children had stolen one of the burning candles in the chapel to take it to their bedroom and accidentally set it on fire. 

Needless to say, the aspiring Priest spent his entire night putting out the flames caused by his charge. Castiel has never felt so tired and challenged all his life but because of his beliefs, he took it patiently and willingly. The only thing he needs apart from praying for strength and endurance is to talk to Dean and he's determined to find a way or another.

"Pimp my own son?" asks John incredulously with a sarcastic laugh. Michael who's not sharing his humor, nods and replies,"Yes." 

"And how the hell am I going to do that, Mikey? He's not exactly a child now and the fuckers next door are protecting him if you must know." reminds John and Michael shakes his head, smiling.

"Do you know what's your problem, John?" he begins but John shrugs and asks flatly,"What?"

"You're fucking stupid, that's what. You went to them with that boorish attitude of yours and you expect them to accept you? You should at least feign remorse and apologize, dumbass!" mocks Michael but John couldn't care less. He's too stubborn for his own good.

"I don't need acceptance from anyone, Mikey, not even you. So get off my back! I just want my son cause he's mine." retorts John.

"And you'll have him... but not with this stupid arrogance, John! Obviously, you can't handle a normal conversation, so let me tell you what you can do instead. Find me a drug dealer and I will get you Dean. You'll have him first, since you're itching to rape again and then I'll arrange for expensive clients to service your son further. We'll split his earnings, 80-20."

"Fuck that! He's my son! I created him! 50-50!!" John bargains loudly but Michael only laughs at him and said,"70-30...OR cops, John. Which?" 

 "Asshole." 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will write few more chapters over the weekend! Promise! :)


	50. Chapter 50

Michael's aware that he's putting himself at risk dealing with John but the man's his only hope. Drugs has never been his thing but John's good at acquiring them considering his seedy lifestyle before. What Michael can contribute in this partnership is clientele which his old friends in California agreed to get him a few for a start. Dean's the perfect whore they need.

With the right connections and recommendations, Michael will get more willing twinks soon and grow his "business". This new venture is so different from the previous ones he'd done. Poor, naive people need money and will do almost anything to get them while the rich and famous yearns personal satisfaction as well as anonymity. Michael should've thought of this brilliant plan sooner but it's alright, it's still never too late and as long as he's careful, and has that John in his tight leash, indefinite wealth will be his soon. He could feel it in his blood already.

Cas works non-stop from dawn till dusk, attending to the orphan's needs from their prayers, to their food and social activities. He hopes that the old priest's able to convince the church to get volunteer teachers for the children who badly need proper education. He wishes too that he could converse in Italian and teach them himself. 

This setbacks he's experiencing and the challenges coming his way, makes him misses Dean more but at the same time grateful for what he already has, in comparison to what these poor children are facing day after day. The food they eat are meager and tasteless, the mattress they slept in are much thinner than his that Cas' heart went out to them. The aspiring Priest sat crying in his room that night at this startling clarity, thanking the Almighty for what he possessed and prays to Him for mercy for these unfortunate children.

He makes a mental note to look for any contact numbers from any charitable organizations from the old priest's office. He hope that there are few who had offered their help and assistance, so help him, God. Sleep only greets him in the wee hours of the morning. Though exhausted, Castiel go about his routine calmly and as normally as possible. Disappointment greets him the second he gets into the office when he found not a single important document except for receipt orders from the food vendors. The old priest doesn't return the next day either.

John watches Dean chatting with that taller kid from a distant while waiting for the runner. They seem pretty close that he wonders if they're lovers. He sure hopes not cause Dean's companion's a giant and John's warned by Mike to be careful. If any of the kids sighted him, it will be the end of their glorious plan. The ex convict's glad that he wears that trucker hat and blends easily with the rest of the fishermen there. At least that's what he thought they are, that Robert Singer too perhaps. Shit, he curses himself at this stupid disguise he's going through. Soon the boys got up and leave, John wants so much to corner Dean but he can't and has to wait for that damn runner who's obviously running late. They always make one wait for something good and illegal! John grunts to himself as he eyes the boys.

Michael hangs up the phone with a smile. He has acquired three very rich clients for Dean and now's the time to make his appearance next door. He hopes that the news he'll be sharing about Castiel will perk Dean's interest and thus makes him fall into his trap. Mike realizes that it's dangerous to operate in the vacation house. The mansion will be a front for his seedy plans elsewhere. Good thing he has friends who owns hotels in town. Dean will service his masters there. Perfect plan. 

Ellen's surprised to see Michael at the front door asking for Dean, bearing news about his brother. She initially thought that it was John who came back but overjoyed when it's Cas' older brother instead that she wastes no time inviting him in.

Mike says that he'd sent investigators to look for his brother and to get him home soon. He manages to hide his disappointment when Ellen says that Dean's out with Sammy and has no idea when they will be back. Sammy, he thought bitterly. How the hell he's gonna get Dean alone with that Sasquatch hanging around all the time?

He refuses to stay for dinner when Ellen offered but asks for a favor to get Dean to come by the mansion alone so they could talk. 

"Please, it's important I talk to him alone without Sam, Ellen because Cas news might break him. I hope you'll understand. Tell him to come by at night because that's the best time to call my contacts in Europe." he assures with a warm smile.

Ellen hugs him and says thank you for his kindness. Sam lost the argument when Dean insisted that he should go over to the mansion alone but as soon as the door closed behind him, John attacked and subdued him with drugs. He didn't stand a chance when his father raped him that night, too weak to defend himself and Michael who witnessed the act, found that he can't watch any further and so he yelled at John to hurry up to transport Dean to the hotel in town. 

Sexually frustrated because he's not done, John forcefully adhere to the command and begrudgingly carries Dean's limp body to Michael's rented car at the back. Michael knows that he has to get rid of John soon, or he'll only cause more trouble in the near future.

Sam's restless that night waiting for any news from Dean but there was none. The mansion's phone line's busy that Ellen told him they may be calling overseas. Sam wants to accept her explanation but the nagging feeling in his heart and mind won't go away.

 

 


	51. Chapter 51

By three in the morning when Dean fails to return, Sam decides to visit the mansion next door. A very unkempt and sleepy looking Mike opens the door, asking what he needs. Clearly baffle, Sammy immediately asks for Dean but the homeowner explains that the blond already left his premises hours ago.

"What's going on Sammy? He's not home yet?" asks Mike instantly peering towards the cottage next door.

"No, he's not! What time did he left?" asks Sam in a panic, worry laced his voice because Ellen just confided to him that John visited them earlier. She didn't want to worry him and Dean since her brother left that morning anyway after being warned by Robert to stay away. 

Michael rubs his face tiredly as he pretends to recall the time the blond left his home. "Err...about a little after one? We didn't get through any of the investigators in Europe so I told him to go home and we'll talk later...he looked sad though when he left, but...Where could he be??!!..Wait..let us check the boat, see if he's out there in the canal!" offers Michael readily as he moves fast towards the back door followed by an anxious Sam.

Both men climb onto the boat, calling out Dean's name but he's obviously not there. Mike's glad that John stayed in town as he had ordered since he took a chance in convincing Sam to look for Dean in his father's prized possession. He hates worrying about things like this. John's clearly an obstacle but fortunately, one of his friends had promised to take care of the ex convict for him. 

Sam paced the floor board like a mad man, wondering where Dean could've gone to. "Did John come over here, Mike?! Have you seen him at all?!"

Mike's eyes went wide when he replies,"WHAT?! The fucker's here?!! Why didn't Ellen tell me this?!! No wonder the window's at the back's opened! He must've broken into my home to steal food!! ARGHH!!!" curses Mike angrily that Sam told him to calm down. He'd seen Mike's rage a few times before and he had rudely awaken the man from his slumber too, searching for Dean.

"Mike. I'm sorry I disturb you. Why don't you go back to sleep? I will look for him in town or at the beach. You said he's upset right?" asks Sam and Mike nods fast. "Yes, he was. I told him to stay the night but he wanted to go home. I'm sorry Sammy, if I'd known I would insisted that you come over too. This is hard for me too.." explains Michael woefully that Sam can't help but feels sorry for him. Cas' his brother and of course Michael will do anything for him. Sam's glad that Mike's a changed man. How ironic that it takes something horrible to happen to make people realize what they've lost. 

"Rest well, Mike. I'm sure your men will find Cas soon! I'd better go!" yells Sam as he runs next door. 

"Call me when you find him Sammy!!!!" he yells back and as soon as the younger man's out of sight, he scoffs "You'll never find him, Sammy..no one will..." he says to himself as he closes the door behind him.

The phone in the den rings and he picks it up. "Good job, Alastair. I'll wire the money tomorrow." 

"Good riddance, John."


	52. Chapter 52

Sam and Robert leave the women at the cottage to look for Dean. At first, Sam wanted to search by himself but Bobby wouldn't hear of it since its getting darker and the town's probably bustling with people enjoying the nightlife. There's no way Sam could scope the huge area on his own. So they decided to split ways, Bobby with his boat while Sammy takes the road. 

Mary calls the police while Ellen rushes to meet Michael next door. The sleepy man is steadfast in his explanation about Dean's departure, even though he felt a slight panic when Ellen told that Mary had informed the police. He tries to calm an anxious Ellen and invites her in but she declines, keep saying that maybe John got to her baby. Michael assures her, saying that Dean's a grown man and able to take on John anytime but Ellen isn't pacified. "Maybe he just need to clear his mind, he was upset thinking about my brother when he left. I'm sure he'll be home soon, Ellen."

Ellen left feeling a little relieve thinking that Mike could be right but Dean never worry her like this. Even when he's in the dormitory, he never fails to call and tell her about his whereabouts. At least to Sam if not her. Her anxiousness returns that she hurries back to the cottage. She sees Mary still on the phone but her friend wasn't talking to the police anymore, its Zachariah on the other line.

She moves to the kitchen to get a glass of water feeling dehydrated all of a sudden. Her heart's in her throat worrying about Dean. She wanted to tell Mary to end the call in case Dean calls but feels like its rude, considering Mary's been waiting for her lover's call.

"Ellen. Zack called and he said he'll look for Cas. I told him about Dean and he will get some help for your nephew too, so please, come and sit outside the porch with me. You looked pale my friend..." Mary urges gently as she holds Ellen's trembling hands.

Fergus Crowley doesn't feel right the moment he sees the pretty half naked, half conscious twink in his huge bed. The penthouse is his and he curses himself for letting Alastair talked him into this. Yes, he wanted a good lay. A pretty young thing from college would be a nice change from those cheap quickie whores from the back alley. But the sight of this obviously drugged kid turned him off instantly. It's not him, its the people that's done this to him. Michael, Alastair and he wonders who else is involved in this immoral act. Crowley likes his conquests willing, not forced. 

He walks slowly towards the young victim. The kid's too stoned to even move an inch but his eyes...his green glassy eyes, unmistakably pleading for help that Crowley asks gently for his name.

"....D..ean..." the kid replies weakly, voice hoarse probably from screaming at his attackers.

Crowley clears his throat lightly and takes a deep breathe. "Dean, don't worry. I'm taking you to see a friend of mine who's a doctor. He will take care of you. Were you raped?"

Dean's face crunched at his last words and then he began to cry. No sound came out, only choked sobs that Crowley had no choice but to subdue him with a glass of water. Fuck those monsters, the rich broker thought angrily to himself. 

"There there.. now...don't cry..you're going to be alright. Thank the Lord son, that its me you're sent to." Crowley said almost to himself.

Dean looks up at him and in the midst of his unrelenting tears, he asked for Crowley's name. 

"That, you don't need to know, kid." Crowley smiles and dials a number on his bedside phone.

"Victor. It's me. I have a patient that need your help urgently." pause "thanks and hurry."

Crowley ends the call and turns to Dean. "He's coming over and we'll both take you to his clinic. You're gonna be alright."

Dean stares into space, realizing that his fate now lies in this man and this so called doctor. Whatever's going to happen will happen, good or bad for he has no strength, physical nor emotional to fight for himself anymore. 

 


	53. Chapter 53

Sam drives like mad that he almost hit a man crossing the road. Ignoring the vulgarities thrown at him, Sam continues to scan the busy streets for any signs of Dean but he's nowhere to be seen. Frustrated after he reaches the dead end, Sam parks his car and runs out into the dark alleys of the old buildings. Few homeless people watch the anxious tall young man curiously, murmuring among themselves if he has any connections with the incident that happened earlier.

An older man was beaten probably till death, but luckily, the assailants took the victim away instead of leaving it there. Their lives are hard enough to be witnesses to a murder case, hounded by cops but just as they thought Sam has gone, the kid returns and bombards them with questions about a young man named Dean, if they'd seen him around. For once they wished they did because that place's indeed the last resort to find someone, dead or alive and when they suggested that Sam look into the canal, the kid's expression is pure devastation. 

Sam leaves the dark alley with tears bridled in his eyes, he can't control his sadness anymore because what if those people were right? That Dean takes his life because of Cas? Hatred for the latter consumes his heart and mind that he brushes his tears angrily away while striding fast towards his car. He drives out of the seedy area and heads towards the canals, praying that Bobby finds Dean somehow.

For hours, Dean was unconscious and when he finally comes around, he hears whispered voices. "He's awake.." a strange voice says follows by a much familiar one that replies,"Oh well, I can go now. Thanks buddy. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Dean struggles to open his eyes to look at them but his eyelids felt like a ton that he groans inwardly in frustration, wondering where the hell he is and who are those people? Are they helping him or is he going to be raped again? Memories of his father raping him brutally while Michael watched...MICHAEL!! 

This time he really tries to move his limbs but every part of his body is not cooperating till the strange voice speaks urgently.

"Dean! Don't force yourself. You're going to be fine but you have to sleep again till the nurse release you early tomorrow afternoon. Please be more careful next time, young man." the deep voice says before he renders Dean unconscious again. The last thing Dean heard are the sound of heavy footsteps walking out of the quiet room.

Crowley tries hard to obliterate Dean from his mind but he fails miserably. The sadness the green eyed kid exuded tugs the strings of his kind old heart. The scotsman wished he could stay and talk to the poor kid but his reputation is at stake here and he knows that Victor's smart enough too to not to be involved with this crazy incident, especially after Alastair confessed brazenly that he had killed John, Dean's father mercilessly and threw him into the deepest canal. The wacko doesn't kill for money. He kills for pleasure and Crowley's sure Michael will still pay him a very handsome sum just to shut his mouth. 

Well, John deserved it, if anything, thought Crowley angrily. Dean seems like a pleasant young man who has a bright future in front of him. Crowley saw his student card and he did go to a renown university here. What kind of life will he have now that this cruel thing happened to him? Does he have other family members or friends, girlfriend? boyfriend? Why did Michael choose him to service his clients? What's their connections? Questions after questions bombarding his poor head that Crowley abruptly pulls his black Mercedes to the side of the road.

Fuck it, Crowley! Dean's not your problem now! He curses himself and takes a deep breath. Fucking conscience! He starts his engine and drives into the night as fast as he could.

 

 

 


	54. Chapter 54

Sam spots Robert's boat and rushes to it but the man's not there. Few of the neighboring boaters tell him that Bobby's talking to a detective in a bar close by. He shouts his thanks and dashes off. Bobby's face fell when he sees him walking in alone and then introduces him to the detective hired by Zachariah to search for the missing Dean. Sam immediately urges them to get moving but was advised gently by the detective to wait but Sam scoffs furiously saying that he'll look alone instead. That's when the well experienced professional barks at him sternly that he begrudgingly obeys the order. 

"First, we are going to call all the clinics and hospitals first, understood?" says the man quietly. Sam nods curtly and looks away. His anger belies the fear he feels in his heart because those are the last places he wants to find Dean in. 

Ellen can't sit still despite being coaxed and comforted by Mary to remain calm. Then suddenly, they heard the sound of car screeching off next door that Ellen grabs her jacket and runs towards the mansion. She rings the bell frantically and when there's no answer from Michael, her worry for Dean intensifies. Ellen knows right there and then, something has gone terribly wrong that she begs Mary to help her look for Dean. The blond adheres to her friend's wishes this time and off they went.

The old guard insists that the last room was vacant when he visited it hours ago but the nurse wouldn't hear any of his excuses. "You dozed off as soon as you clock in, Eddie, don't think that I don't know! And why can't you ever turn on the camera like you're supposed to?! Why do I have to keep reminding you of your duties every single time?! I'm tired of doing everything Eddie! I have patients to take care of and I truly appreciate some help around here!"

"Well why don't you tell the administrator to get a 24 hour camera, Missy!" "That's not the point, Eddie! We don't know who this young man is, who took him in and what's wrong with him?! We got a hell of explanation to do later do you realize that you old fool?!!" 

Eddie, the old security guard only looks at the irate nurse in defeat before he shrugs and walks back to his post. 

The soup bowl in Cas' hand almost tipped when he jumps up in excitement when he sees the old priest makes his way towards him.

"Father!!" he cries and the old man can't help but gives him a wan smile.

"How are you, Father? Did you have any good news from the Church?" he asks with so much hope in his voice that the old priest feels sorry for him. 

"No, my son, unfortunately....no. We have to wait...a few more years. I am so sorry, Castiel." he replies forlornly and renders Cas speechless. The young man can't believe what he's hearing. For sure this place isn't that backward that they can't find the smallest help at all? Aren't the people here more religious than anywhere else? Cas was pretty sure of it because there's nothing here to distract them from Divine devotion. 

He rushes quietly after the old priest and asks the man what are their other options? Perhaps he could reach out personally to the people in the small town for help? The old priest looks at him and says, "I have tried, my son and so did the rest before you but I wish you luck nevertheless. Take it with you and please come back before dusk for the evening prayers." 

Cas thanked him profusely and rushes off to the small town as fast as he could. He feels shameful and guilty for his other selfish reason in leaving the mission to look for a phone to contact Dean. What would his mentor think of him if he finds out? Will he deemed him unfit to perform God's task since he's still looking for this worldly things? Cas tries to diminish the negative thoughts from his mind. To atone for his "sin", he went straight to approach for help first before looking for any form of telecommunication in the area. 

Bella Russo watches the young stranger from her husband's shop window, deeply fascinated with his relentless yet calm persuasion talking to every passerby. She yearns to know what's being said among them. She wants to get to know the handsome young man. Life's so dull in this part of Italy, wishing so much she hadn't marry her old husband and leave Rome. She watches the clock on the wall. Antonio will be home in less than an hour. Maybe a quick chat with that dashing young man will do for now, find out where he lives and maybe they can be friends. Who knows?! 

For the first time in three years, twenty five year old Bella finally feels the adrenaline rushing wildly through her young blood again.  

 

 

 


	55. Chapter 55

Ellen and Mary drive around searching not only for Dean, but also Michael, Sam and Robert. 

"Why did Michael leave like that? Do you think he's out looking for my nephew? Or John? Or did they harm my dear boy?! I can't think properly anymore, Mary!" cries Ellen that Mary holds her friend tight, hushes her with soothing words but Ellen's inconsolable. Mary's in tears herself because she can't imagine losing Sam this way too. Not knowing the whereabouts of your loved ones is the hardest thing to bear. 

"Tell you what, love. Let's go to the police station, see if they have any news of Dean, alright. If they don't, we will harassed them till they get to their ass and do something!" suggests Mary with passion that Ellen can't help but smiles softly at her friend's determination.

Sam and Bobby listened on as the detective calls the hospitals and clinics with negative results. Sam huffs impatiently as he paces the floor of the professional's office, wishing they could just go out there and look for Dean instead of wasting time on the fruitless calls. He almost yells at the man till they finally got a lead. The detective's doing few things at the same time, asking the person over the phone for information on the hospital, scribbling the address on a note pad and scanning the local map on his wall.  

"We got him! Let's go!" he orders as soon as he ends the call. Sam doesn't need to be told twice when he offers to drive all of them to Dean. The older men just wished that they all won't end up staying in the same hospital instead.

The resident doctor, Missy and Eddie were interrogated by the detective as soon as they arrived.

"He didn't get treated here, that, I assure you. This young man got treated else where and sent here for God knows what reason. Please, detective, if you can, please keep this from the cops and press. This old hospital's suffering bad reps year after year and we really can't afford more damage especially one such as this. I hope you'd understand." begs the old doctor that the detective only listens. Heard too many favors in his life to dismiss this another one. "Did you examine him to assure that he's really alright?" he asks and the doctor confirmed showing his log on Dean's diagnosis. The detective read it carefully and after he's satisfied, he gives the doctor his word.

"Wait! Are you going to dismiss this case? There're criminals involved here, detective! Don't you think the cops should know about this!?" claims Robert in disbelief. Sam's just as mystified but he waits for the detective's response. The man's demeanor's amazingly calm.

"Did I say I'm going to dismiss it? Mr Singer, I'm not done investigating. If you want the police involve, call them by all means, but I can tell you this for sure that Dean's case will take a backseat. The kid's alive and well as you can see. He's drugged of course but there's no evidence that he's being forced. No murder, no robbery and he's being treated elsewhere prior by a very professional doctor." he glances at the resident doctor at this statement that the latter bows his head in shame.

"I will find those culprits that did this to him. Have some faith. I am a retired deputy chief." 

Castiel doesn't know what he's trying to do anymore. With his very poor knowledge of Italian, he can't get the locals to understand what he's trying to convey but luckily, they're nice and polite enough to hear him out though most of them are just curious about him, the civilian clothed American would be Priest.

He's about to give up when the stunning brunette in a pretty summer dress saunters slowly towards him with a soft smile.

"Do you need some help, Signore...? she asks in perfect English that Cas can't help but sighs with relief. "Yes!! Thank you! and Thank you, Lord in heavens!" he exclaims excitedly that she laughs along with him. They introduced themselves and began to talk.

Cas explains his reason for being there and Bella eagerly offers her assistance in translating his intentions to the crowd that got larger around them. They're amused to see two very beautiful people interact happily with each other in a foreign language. Bella's neighbors, the women, especially, watches the young wife of the old tenant with so much interests that soon the began gossiping among each other. Bella takes no heed, she's in cloud nine. Castiel Novak is not only gorgeous, he's cultured, polite and charming. So different from her old Antonio whose old and ugly, so called gangster, rude and uncouth. Bella can't help but compare, her mind works fast thinking of how to attract the aspiring young priest to be her "friend". 

"Oh Castiel, you must missed your friends in States! Did you get to speak to any of them since you've arrived?" she asks sympathetically with a small pout of her lips. Cas lowers his gaze at the obvious adoration. He's very aware of Bella's attraction and by God he shouldn't be encouraging it. So he just gives her a small smile and shakes his head lightly.

Bella smiles wider that she almost blind the sun behind her. "I have a telephone..." she coos softly. Cas heart's beat wildly but for different reasons than what Bella would think. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	56. Chapter 56

Dean stays awake in bed after crying silently for hours. He continues to refuse to see or talk to anyone, even his aunt who's worried sick pacing the locked door outside. He thought that he would need her like he used to years before, cry in her arms, let her soothe the pain inside his head and his heart but strangely he doesn't. He's a lost cause, not worthy of care and attention because God had willed it to be this way. His body for his own father's pleasure, his heart for a man of the heavens to break. 

He has nothing else to offer in this world. Useless. A mistake. Hot tears filled his eyes rapidly at this damning clarity that he scrambles out of bed and began ransacking the drawers for any type of weapons. Die, he must for its the only way to end all this sufferings. 

Ellen heard the loud noise coming from the bedroom that she bangs the door hard and shouted for Dean to open while the rest run to her aid.

"Are you sure that I can use your phone, Mrs Russo? It's expensive and I can only pay you tomorrow when the post office opens. I don't have any cash with me right now, unfortunately." expresses Cas sincerely but Bella gives him a warm smile and squeezes his shoulder lightly.

"Please, Castiel, I already told you. Call me Bella...! You make me feel so old like my neighbors" she insists with a soft laugh. Cas nods and smile. "I'm so sorry. I just thought that it's customary here to address a married woman here....Bella."

"Better. And please forget about customs! I maybe living in this godforsaken place but I was from Rome, my dear!" explains Bella readily before pulling Cas' hand and leads him into the den. Cas' nervous because they're all alone in her house and her husband's away at work. She draws the window curtains on the way when few curious neighbors' began peeking through her tainted windows. 

"Bella...I don't think its necessary to do that. Let them see what I'm trying to do here or they would spread false gossip about us." warns Cas gently but Bella only laughs at him.

"Ah! For an American, albeit a Priest, you're pretty skittish, Castiel! Don't worry about them! I'd do the same when my girlfriends come to visit! It's so none of their concern what's going on in my house anyway. Would you like some wine?" she entices nicely, walking towards the kitchen.

"No, thank you, Bella. Ca..can I use the phone now? I'd like to call before it gets too late in Los Angeles." says Cas a little nervously. Bella's nice but they just met and he doesn't want to get them especially her into any kind of trouble. Her husband, Antonio might not appreciate a stranger, a man yet, using his phone in his house, alone with his beautiful wife. Cas doesn't know how the Italians mind or culture works but he's aware that most Italian man are romantic and passionate which means that they could be very jealous too. 

Bella shakes her head and with a sweet smile, she walks slowly towards him while grabbing the old phone in her hand. 

"Here. Who are you calling.. if I may ask?" she asks softly and Cas clears his throat. He wished he could say boyfriend but that would shock her not to mention risking himself being called a hypocrite. 

"My best friend, Dean." he replies steadily and Bella smiles wider as she passes the phone to him, giving him details on how to call.

"Ah...for a while, I thought you're going to say girlfriend, or wife... Please don't break our beautiful friendship just yet, Signore Castiel."she laughs lightly while taking a sip of her wine before sitting opposite Cas. Though facing the window, Cas can't help but wished she could give him some privacy. He wants to be able to talk normally to his beloved Dean that he misses so much.

Cas dials the residence of his mansion in Venice and waits with baited breathe for someone to pick up the phone. The ringing went on but there was no answer so he tries again and again till finally he decides to leave a voice message. Out of the corner of his eyes, he can sense Bella listening to him discreetly. A tiny smile plays on the corner of her lips when she hears Dean's name. As if she needs the confirmation that it's indeed a man that Cas' calling.

"Dean, aunt Ellen, this is Castiel. I'm sorry for not calling before I left but there's no phone and I'm using one from a dear friend I just met, her name is Bella. I'm in Naples now attending to a mission will be back in three months by God's grace. I will try to call you both again. I promise. I love and miss you both so much, give my love to Sam and Mary too." Cas ends the call with a heavy heart. He wished that either Ellen and Dean had answered. Dean could be at the dorm but where's Ellen?

"Bella? Can I make another call please? I think Dean's in his dormitory. I promise you I will pay you double for this bill." he promises with hope in his voice that Bella would allow him another call.

"Don't be silly! Of course, Cas! Anything you ask for, just go ahead. Don't stand on ceremony with me. The only thing I can't give you is this number because Antonio doesn't like international calls. I'll come back with your wine, I insist!" she exclaims merrily and walks away.

Cas thanks her and wastes no time in dialing Dean's number at his dorm but there's no answer too so he leaves a hurried, whispered message, thanking the lord when Bella turns on the song on radio on her way to the kitchen.

"Dean, baby its me, my love. I miss you so much! Please forgive me for not calling sooner, I will explain to you when we get to talk soon. I love you so much, and I need you so much, only God knows the pain I feel sweetheart. Please..please take care of yourself. I will call you again soon! Bye!" he gives a quiet kiss before placing the cradle back on the phone.

"We have like fifteen minutes to chat before Antonio comes home. Now... tell me more about yourself, Castiel Novak. I'm dying to know"

 

 


	57. Chapter 57

The scene in the blue cottage is so chaotic when both women scream as they witness Sam struggling like crazy to pry the dressmaker's scissors from Dean's hand. The latter's strong determination to end his life makes Sam's task so difficult that he's left with no choice but to kick Dean's leg apart and punches his nose hard till it breaks. 

Ellen cries as she rushes to a bloodied Dean who fell onto the carpeted floor on his back. Sam seizes the scissors fast from his loosening grip, search for other sharp objects around the room and even his mother's perfume on the dresser before dashing out to the backyard where he locks them safe in Bobby's shed. He then runs back to the house to hide more things that Dean could harm himself with later.

The blond's suicidal and Sam's not taking any chances. His classes due in two days but there's no way in hell he would go. He will stay put in the cottage and vows to watch Dean like a hawk until he's fine. They discussed urgently about getting a psychiatrist who could come over and access Dean daily. No one thought that he would go this far as to take his own life and it shook them to the core. Ellen in tears, trembles as she rocks her beloved nephew in her arms, shouting for Mary to get the first aid in the kitchen.

Mary, quickly pulls herself together, obeys her friend and together they attend to Dean's injury. Bobby's away at the detective's office looking for clues for Dean's assailants. They found out that Michael has left Los Angeles on a red-eye flight to New York. With little to no evidence to link his departure with Dean's plight, the men had to work slowly together, tracing back all the calls being made to the mansion, checking on the cameras around it, and also getting any kinds of information from witnesses on the day Dean went missing. Neither knew about what's happening with the victim until Sam told Robert that night. 

That same night, when Dean's asleep with Ellen and Sam watching him closely, Bobby hears the news of John's dead body found in the canal on his boat radio. Without telling the rest, he sped off towards where the crime scene took place. The detective's already there after a tip he got from one of his former colleagues in the police force. 

Bobby and the detective realize that even when John's dead, Dean's case is far from over. What they could hope for now is that no one will come and get the kid to cover their tracks. 

"My friend's getting a warrant to search the mansion tomorrow, Bobby. I appreciate if you could be there too. I'm sorry about Dean and I will have to talk to him once he's awake. We have to solve this as soon as we can." asserts the professional and Bobby agrees with him. 

Cas can't sleep that night, wondering if Dean receives any of his messages. He's happy to at least make those calls but regrets that it's through Bella's generosity that he has to do it. He has search for other phones around the place, there was one in a small realtor office but they won't allow Cas to use it for overseas calls even after he begs the manager and offers to pay good sum of money. Trust is the issue in this town and until he's fully garbed like a true priest, everyone will scrutinize him. 

What he didn't foresee is the trouble that Bella unknowingly cause for them in the very near future that will jeopardize his existence in the Godly town. 


	58. Chapter 58

Ellen tries in vain to get Dean to eat his oatmeal after he rejected the lunch that Mary prepared. She has lost her appetite too after what happened and watching Dean still upset with his failure to end his own life, breaks her heart to pieces. He had confessed to her alone what happened to him and she had cried, holding him all night, forgoing her own rest for fear that he would do something stupid again. 

"I failed him, Mary. I failed to protect him from John.." she cries softly after Dean fell asleep due to his medicine. The psychiatrist had visited earlier and prescribed some drugs for him in the meantime. 

"Hey, listen. It's not your fault, so don't go blaming yourself, alright?" whispers Mary, trying her best to control her own tears."It's that evil John's doing and he's dead, thank God for that! Bobby's investigating this case and it's looking good, Ellen. He said so himself just now. Zach called earlier too, saying that he's in New York now demanding Naomi to confess Cas' whereabouts. He will find his son, Ellen, and bring him back to Dean and your baby will get better soon.." assures Mary, but her son scoffs at her for mentioning Castiel's name. 

"He's the bloody reason why Dean's in this situation in the first place, mother!" Sam mutters with disgust. "And If ever he sets foot in this house, I will kick his fucking priestly ass, make no mistake about it!" he spat and Mary warns him to be quiet, reminding him that it's not Castiel's fault. "He doesn't know, Sam and if he does, I'm sure he'll be just as angry as you if not kill John himself." she defends. 

"It was entirely his fault! That fucking self righteous selfish bastard! He left without a word and both his sleazy brother and that deadbeat John lured Dean into their sick web using CASTIEL as an excuse!!" Sam expresses heatedly, can't find it in himself to be nice anymore. Wishing that Cas is right there so that he could beat him to a pulp. 

Ellen brushes off her tears and implores gently to him."Sam....I know you cared so much for Dean...and I thank you so much my love, but I need you to be calm...Dean needs all of us to be strong and patient for him at this time Sammy.."

Sam looks at the woman whom he loves like his own mother and nods sadly. "I'm so sorry, please forgive my behavior...I just feel so helpless too, I can't believe that this happened to him again, aunt Ellen.." 

"You don't have to apologize sweetie, I understands how you feel..we all do. Now, I need you to help me talk to Dean's professor, if he can let Dean postpone the next term to recover? I will write an official letter to him as well." says Ellen and Sam told her that he'll be postponing his classes too for Dean but both women comment that its not necessary for him to do so. Sam insists that he wants to help Dean and that's the end of it. Ellen thanks him and hugs him close.

That late afternoon, the investigator, Bobby and a few police officers searched the mansion next door. Michael was apprehended in a hotel in Florida where he's hiding after they found John's and Dean's DNA evidence in his parents bedroom upstairs. Alastair was brought in after he brags to few drunks in a bar about killing John and then dumping him in the canals. The investigator had done a thorough job questioning these witnesses but he's still mystified about the people who were responsible for Dean's appearance in the old hospital at the far end of town. He won't rest until he found the doctor who treated Dean and possibly his accomplice too.

"Bobby. I want you to listen to this recording. I understand Castiel is Michael's younger brother? He's looking for Dean and Ellen." says the investigator that Bobby's mouth fell open before he rushes his words to stop the man from deleting the message and then ran like mad next door.

Crowley listens to the breaking news on the radio about John's demise and Alastair's involvement that automatically his thought strays again to that blonde kid, wondering how he's doing? 

The old priest watches Castiel deal with the children, the man is a natural and despite the language barrier, they all adored him. He sighs with relief and thanked the lord for sending such a remarkable young man to their aid. Roberto was sent to Rome at the church's behest and he had asked them why but they gave him vague replies.

Father Roberto's supposed to continue with his mission alongside with him so that Castiel will be released in the next two months. It's not right to keep the American undergraduate for so long under his tutelage, that wasn't the initial plan. Something's up and he wants to find out what it was. 

 

 

 


	59. Chapter 59

Ellen and Mary are resting in Dean's room when Sam sees Bobby running into the house then stops the man to ask him what's wrong? Without preamble, Bobby tells him every word Cas left in the voice recording machine that Sam's glad he'd pulled him aside. He refuses to let the women and especially Dean to hear this news Bobby bears.

"Why must we keep it from him, Sammy?! He's been pining for Castiel! You of all people know that it will help him with his recovery!" Bobby comments incredulously when Sam demanded that Dean shouldn't know about Cas' message.

"What makes you think that it will? Huh?! What good will it do?! He didn't leave Dean a phone number to call back or even an address! How on earth you think Dean will fare after that, Bobby?? Please think about it!" berates Sam impatiently. The nerve of Cas to give that obligatory short call without giving any details of where he was!

Bobby's stupefied. Sam's right. Dean's just suffered from a temporary mental breakdown and this will confuse him more. "But Sammy..maybe..just..huh..maybe hearing Cas voice is all he needs for now..who knows?" he tries but Sam just shakes his head and says,"All I can see is that its going to torment Dean further if he has to wait for another call from him, god knows when and how long, Bobby. I refused to see Dean suffer." 

Bobby lowers his head and nods."Guess you're right. Okay...I'll talk to the detective then.." "Thanks, Bobby for understanding. I will tell Dean in due time when he gets better. Maybe you can get the detective to trace the call?" 

"Yup, I'm gonna tell him right now. How's he doing?" asks Bobby and Sam just shakes his head lightly. "He's lucky to have you around, Sammy."

"Where he is, Naomi?!" demands Zachariah angrily for the second time.

"Why?! So that you can lure him into Sins, just like yourself?!!" scoffs Naomi, challenging her estranged husband with a hard stare. 

"Stop this self righteous sermons! I don't care to hear any of it! Just tell me NOW where in Italy did you send our son, woman or so help me God!" growls Zachariah loudly close to he face. He looms over her but Naomi's not afraid. She's been expecting this confrontation from him and glad that for once, she could rile him up this way. 

She mocks him with a smirk and walks away slowly, grabbing a glass of whiskey on the way. "You know what, Zachariah? The Italian church works in full discretion. I don't know where they took him or his whereabouts now" she claims quietly with her back facing him, unaware that at that moment he advances towards her and grips her neck hard with his large hands. Naomi yelps painfully but he's not letting go. 

"You fucking lying bitch! You're gonna tell me the truth or I will hurt you, I swear!" he growls menacingly in her ear that she shivers at the contact. Zachariah has never lay a hand on her and this shocks her to the core.

"..N...aples...Naples...that's..that's all I know, Zach! I promise!! I swear to God!!!" she confesses in tears. Zachariah knows she's telling the truth, married to her for years made him learn about her too well. He lets go of his grip roughly that she stumbles forward, almost falling on her face.

"Tell me everything you know then. His flight details and the priest that took him away. Keep anything else from me, Naomi, and I won't hesitate to make you pay for it the next time." 

Cas cashes out the check and keeps the bills in his pocket. He needs to pay Bella for the phone calls, praying that he's able to call Dean again later. She said that they're lucky that her husband comes home late yesterday even though Cas assures her that he prefers to meet the man, to dispel any suspicions that might arise later because of her nosy neighbors. Bella has laughed and reminded him to come again.

He has reluctantly agreed, wishing so much that there's other way of communicating Dean. He asks the post office worker if he could send a telegram to the states but they don't have such service. Frustrated because he's unable to get news fast to Dean, Cas buys a number of stamps, a letter pad and envelopes. The thought that he's going to write Dean a long distance love letter makes him smile at least.

Dean wakes up to see his aunt and Mary asleep on each end of the couch opposite him. He tries to get up but his head hurt so much that he groans. Sam comes in his room at the same time to attend to him. 

"Lie down, Dean. I'll get you some Advil..please lie down." whispers Sam gently and Dean obeys instantly. He watches his tall friend leaves the room fast to get him the medicine. He wonders how long he's been out and the day's still bright outside.

Ellen stirs in her sleep and finally wakes up. She hurries to get up upon seeing an alert Dean but when Sam comes in and sits next to her nephew, she stops to look.

"Here, Dean.." coaxes Sammy while helping Dean up and pulls his upper body close to his. Ellen watches them as Mary snoring away softly next to her. 

Dean swallows the medicine and thank him quietly. "Are you alright, sweetie?" asks Ellen as she gets up and approaches the bed.

"Just a headache. I wanna sleep some more." Dean replies without looking at any of them. She reminds him that he should eat something first at least. "You're taking the medicine on an empty stomach, Dean..its not right. Eat something..please.." she pleads but Dean says "No. I don't have appetite." then pulls the sheet over his body.

"Dean, come on. Aunt Ellen is right. I should've make you eat first. Come on now...I'll take you to the kitchen." Sam offers, ready to leave but Dean replies curtly,"I said I have no appetite!" and then pulls the sheet over his face roughly this time. "I'll bring the food here, sweetheart, alright?" Ellen tries but Dean continues to ignore her. She looks at Sam worriedly that the latter decides to pull away the offensive material, ignoring Dean's surprised look and slid his arms beneath his lean body.

"SAMMY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!" he yells when Sam tries to lift him up bridal style. "LET ME GO YOU MORON!!" 

Sam continues to ignore him as he carries Dean to the kitchen. Ellen looks at them, speechless as Mary awakens from the chaos. "What's going on?" asks the female blond, eyes squinting at her tall son carrying a screaming Dean out of the room.

"Sammy's going to make him eat." the faint reply comes from Ellen makes Mary smile. "That's my boy, alright."


	60. Chapter 60

Dean grunts as he forces himself to eat the porridge that Sam serves. He deliberately avoids all eye contacts on him. Sitting next to him is of course Sammy, who makes sure that he finishes his food while his aunt looks on worriedly as always. Mary excuses herself to the laundry downstairs while Bobby stares out the window but steals constant glances his way.

Dean drops the spoon hard and yells at them."I'm not going to kill myself again alright so Can you please give me a break?!!" 

Bobby shrugs tiredly and leaves the kitchen. Ellen gets up to pour herself some tea, refuses to let Dean see her cry again. She knows that he's just disappointed in himself, not her nor anyone. Sam's not the slightest perturbed by his action though, in fact, he keeps telling Dean to finish his food calmly, much to the blond's chagrin. 

Once he's finally done, he pushes the bowl away and glares at Sammy. "There. Happy now?! Can I go to sleep now?!"

Sam passes the plate to Ellen's outstretched hands and then turns to him. "No. You are going to take a shower and I am going to watch you do so. From outside the stall of course."

Dean widens his green eyes and rebukes,"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!" 

Sam smiles humorlessly and replies, "Oh yes I will. Or why don't I ask Bobby instead since you don't trust me." 

Dean huffs and takes in a deep breathe. "Fine!" he grits and stomps out of the kitchen with Sam in tow. Truth is he needs to wash off the "dirt" from his body since raped by his useless father. No one told him that his old man's dead yet.

True to his words, Sam only watches his face from outside the frosted shower door. Dean takes so long scrubbing his body angrily with the body brush but yet Sam waits patiently for him till he's done. 

That night, he grumbles when he has to sleep between his aunt and Sammy. They're really not taking any chances with him at all, promise him that he will have his privacy once they can trust him to be alone.

Castiel strides fast towards Bella's house since he has to get back to the orphanage in less than half an hour because the cook's assistant isn't well and in bed resting the whole day. Castiel needs to help her while the old priest tend to the children. Cas hopes that the church realizes their plight because this can't go on forever.

There're only six of them running the considerable size orphanage. The priest, the cook, her assistant, the orderly, the guard and himself. They're all overworked and got sick often. Cas has been spared from malady so far mainly because he's been there for only a few days.

He stops in his tracks though when he spots a black car parks right in front of Bella's shop house. Without hesitation, Cas moves on for he already decided to meet the acquaintance of her husband but as soon as he reaches the doorstep, Bella shoos him away discreetly and draws her curtain from the inside.

Cas takes it as a sign that he's not welcomed there since her husband is around. He only saw a glimpse of the large Italian man from behind before she shut the view.

Disappointed, Cas retreats back slowly to the orphanage, wondering more than ever if Dean's waiting for his calls. He feels like crying because it's hurt not to know when the answer is just a few feet away from him to attain. Even the business of his tasks didn't stop his mind worrying and his heart pining for his beautiful lover in Los Angeles. 

That night he writes Dean a very long love letter, in it he says,

Dean, my love, I can't stop thinking about you... about us. What I will give to turn back the time to take the moment to tell you where I will be going. I will live to regret this if I never hear from you again. Something's tell me that I will be here for a long time and I can't do anything about it. My faith and conscience in regards with this Godly duties are in constant war with my want and need for you, beloved. This sadness won't leave me especially in my prayers. I pray for you, for us every night sweetheart but not hearing your voice for a day, not knowing how you're doing, tears me apart. I tried calling you and I wanted to again today but circumstances prevented me from doing so. I missed you so dearly Dean, you're all the love that I have, the only one that can calm my restless soul. You are always within me, you are the air that I breathe. Please be safe my heart...

Your love,

Castiel

 

He kisses the letter softly in tears before slipping it in the white envelope. 


	61. Chapter 61

The next day Castiel receives a note from Bella delivered by a teenage boy from her neighborhood saying that her husband decided to work from his shop till the new garment supplies are ready for him to collect in a month. The aspiring priest takes the news very hard that he breaks down and cries silently in the confinement of his dark, tiny room. 

"Is this a test of faith from You? Denying me the love of my life? Is it wrong to love someone so deeply? I am only human, I always remain faithful to You but I need him too please for this longing is hurting my heart so dearly, my Lord..please...help me."

Right at that moment, there's an incessant knocking on his door. "Signore Castiel? Signore...are you in there?! Please, I need some help with a child. His forehead bloody from falling down the steps! I will handle the rest of the children if you can take him to the clinic! " calls the old priest urgently from outside his door that Cas quickly brushes off his tears and pulls himself together.  "I'm coming, Father!"

The journey to the next clinic takes them almost an hour because the nearest one to the orphanage is already closed. The taxi driver has to circle the block to find one and when they finally arrive, the doctor refuses to attend to the child, saying that he's an orphan without knowledge of his medical history.

Castiel tries to reason with him, almost begging him for help, insisting that he will get the boy's records from the old priest the next day but the doctor's steadfast in his opinion. Trying his best to control his anger, Castiel purchases few medical supplies from the doctor and carries the boy back to the taxi, who's fortunately still there.

The kind man refuses to charge for the second trip that Cas thanks and blesses him with so much gratitude. All's not lost it seems for there are still kind people out there that gladly help those in need. This fact opens Cas eyes, thinking again of how small his problems are compared to what's happening around him.

Back at the orphanage, the old priest went into rage at the doctor's refusal to do the right thing but Cas subdued him fast and together they nursed the boy. 

Early in the wee hours of the morning, Dean began tossing and turning in his sleep suddenly, startling his caretakers by his side. Apparently, the sleeping pills induced nightmares and they forces him to wake up in tears. Images of the rape haunts him even after he opens his eyes follows by the constricting sensation in his chest due to his overwhelming sadness. 

He groans in pain that Sam immediately tells Ellen to get a glass of water while he calls 911. He grabs Dean as soon as he ends the emergency call, calming the crying man in his arms. Ellen rushes back in with the water but Dean can't make himself drink it no matter how much he tries.

"Dean please stop crying and drink the water, my love.." begs Ellen in tears that Sam forcefully grips his jaws to open his mouth. They managed to get some of the liquid in and that's when Dean ceased to cry.

"What time is the psychiatrist coming tomorrow?" asks Sam soberly.

"Eleven in the morning, Sammy." replies Ellen sadly that Sam shakes his head. "Give me his name card. I'm gonna call him now."


	62. Chapter 62

The paramedics came and assured both Sam and Ellen that Dean doesn't need any urgent medical attention. That his heart's in good condition despite the brief stress he's suffering earlier. Sleep alludes the caretakers after that but Dean's able to fall back to sleep soon enough much to their relief.

"Ellen...I have a confession to make." whispers Sammy quietly even though Dean's fast asleep.

Ellen looks at him questioningly and asks him what it was. Sam seems reluctant at first but his conscience eating away at him.

"Sammy..?" she asks softly, voice full of concern. Sam sighs and rubs his face tiredly. He tells her about Cas' call and that he thought that Dean shouldn't listen to his message.

"Why, Sammy? Dean's been missing Cas so much and it's obvious that Cas been missing him too. We should tell him." she replies calmly though appalled with his decision without consulting her first. After all, Cas left the message for her too.

Sam nods in defeat and says,"Let me find out where the call comes from. Cas didn't leave a number for us to call back and I wonder why. Look, El, we know how much it will mean to Dean to hear from him but until we know for sure where Cas is, I think, we should keep this a secret. What's happened tonight is totally out of his control and we really don't know what to expect next. I can't wait what the psychiatrist has to say and he better turns up at nine like I told him to."

"Thank you, Sammy..but I'm worried about you too. How all these affect you, sweetie. I need you to be calm, always remember that alright? And please, for me, apologize to the doctor, you're pretty harsh on him just now and it's only four in the morning that's why he sounded like that." she reminds with a small smile.

Sam smiles too and shakes his head. "I guess I am possessive when it comes to Dean. I'm sorry too for being that way...can't help it I guess."

Ellen ceased smiling and tilts his chin. "Tell me something I don't know, Sammy." Sam looks at her strangely and asks her what she meant by that.

"Are you in love with Dean?" she asks gently and Sam only looks at her for a fleeting second then turns his head away.

"I think I'd better catch some sleep. I want to hear what the doctor have to say about Dean's condition tomorrow. Think you should sleep too, El." he suggests hurriedly, laying his head on the pillow facing away from her. His heart thumps wildly in his chest because he almost confess his secret romantic feelings for her nephew. 

Ellen watches him silently, then turns to face her sleeping nephew and kisses his forehead. 

 

 


	63. Chapter 63

The psychiatrist tries his best but fails to get through his young patient who remains stoic and uncooperative throughout their sessions that by the end of his fourth visit, he professed his dilemma to Ellen and Sam. Expressing his intent to discontinue his service but Sam accused him of incompetency and theb replaced him with another doctor but he too complained of the same issue.

"My only advice is that you send him to a renown mental health institution. Dean's problem, in my honest opinion, is much more complex than what we perceived." says the experienced professional kindly but Sam only shakes his head in disbelief without words as he pacies the hallway. Dean's still in the room, unmoving in his bed staring at nothing.

Even his painting supplies that Ellen thought would cheer him up remain untouched. Nothing interest him anymore, not even the art that he loves. This was what concern the old doctor the most because it just shows how deeply affected Dean was in his predicament. His only hope is that Sam could understand the urgency of this matter but the young man refused to have his dearest friend institutionalized. 

So the doctor speaks to Ellen personally instead, urging her to do as he suggested. She has no objections knowing that Dean will benefit from any help and also due to his current behavior that worried her and the rest of the household. Dean who's playful and talkative, now sullen and elusive. More often than not, Ellen could hear him crying softly in his bedroom but whenever she enters to calm him, he will dry his tears and sends her away.

"I think we need to send him to the hospital, Sammy. I can't see him suffer anymore. I just can't..." cries Ellen sadly after Dean falls asleep with the help of the sleeping aid. He's been using the drug so much lately that it doesn't bode well with his aunt who's afraid that he might get addicted.

So Sammy finally relented and off they sent an angry Dean to the nearest institution. And when he managed to escape his first night there and returned home, Sam puts his foot down and tells Ellen that Dean would be much safer near them. Naturally, Ellen lost the argument and let Sammy decide. From that day onward, the tall man stayed very close to Dean that soon the latter finds it suffocating. He begins to argue and finds any way to leave the house, which of course Sam wouldnt allow.

Quietly, Dean thought of a plan to run away even from his aunt. He hates when they fuss over him, overprotecting him as such. To Dean, he's already damaged and beyond redemption. Even Cas' pleading voice on the machine can't make him forgive himself.

He hated his very existence hoping that Cas will never return to find him again. No one should find him again, dead or alive.

 


	64. Chapter 64

Castiel stares at the officer in disbelief. The man tells him that all letters will only be send to the head office next week to be posted. "Can't I have mine expedited? I will pay any sum incurred, officer. Please just tell me that it's possible!" pleads Castiel but the local man only shakes his head apologetically and replies. "I am very sorry, Signore. There's nothing I can do, it's the system here. We don't receive many letters and that's why we accumulate them at one time. It's to save cost."

Cas negotiated with him again but all his efforts fruitless. Walking dejectedly back to the orphanage, he passes Bella's house and the brunette, upon seeing him, runs out of her house and grabs him by the arm.

"Come inside, Castiel! Antonio's not home, he's visiting his friend in the neighborhood!" she exclaims happily at the bewildered priest who pulls himself away."Stop." he says before looking at her. Few of her neighbors already gawking at them curiously. 

Calmly, he asks,"What are you afraid of, Bella? We've done nothing wrong and I will wait for him to come home and introduce myself properly so that there will be no misunderstanding between us. This is very important, Signora..."

Bella sighs lightly and says,"You don't understand. Antonio's a typical Italian man. He will not believe anything we say. I'm here to ask if you want to use the phone, Cas. If you do then please hurry before he comes back, Signore!"

Cas wants to decline but he badly needs to call Dean especially when he knows that his letter will take forever to reach his beloved. Bella coaxes him again when he hesitates till he finally relents.

"Alright. Thank you, Bella. I promise I won't take long." he says while fishing out some cash from his pocket to give it to her.

"Here's some money, before I forget." he adds as he puts it in her hands. The onlookers appalled by their act, immediately assumed that the beautiful Signora Russo is selling her body to the priest. Hateful whispers began and the pair, unaware of the hostility that surround, them enter Bella's home. 

The calls he made to the mansion and Dean's dorm remain unanswered and again he left imploring messages for his beloved, praying that soon, Dean would hear them. Bella who's busy looking out the window for her husband's car, can't really hear his whispered words on the phone. He gets up, ready to leave but Bella stops him. "Please, stay just a bit more, Cas. I need to talk to you about my problems."

Ellen waits patiently for any kind of reaction from her nephew, refusing to leave his room until he says something. She carefully informs him of his father's death by murder and Zachariah's effort in locating Cas' whereabouts. Reminds him gently of their true love for each other and Sam's steadfastness in seeing him getting better. That his tall friend truly cared and love him too. Dean's in silent tears despite his resolve to remain unaffected by her caring words. 

He knows that she will not give up till he says something she wants to hear.

Quietly he lies without looking at her, "I will be fine, aunt...I promise you.."

 

 


	65. Chapter 65

Ellen, beside herself with happiness, cries instantly upon hearing her nephew's promise to her. She reaches out to him fast and rubs his back with such loving tenderness that Dean's almost in tears again, listening to her whispers,"I'm always here for you, Dean. I love you so much, so much sweetheart." "I love you so much too, aunt." he hugs and whispers back before slowly prying his body away from her hold.

"But I can't stay here aunt...and I'm going to drop out of college too. I have to do this so I hope you will understand." he confides and Ellen searches his face while wiping her tears off with her sleeves. 

"Where will you stay, Dean? This is home and if you need your privacy, I will talk to Sam and the rest to give it to you, my love. Please don't leave.." she begs urgently, pulling him back into her arms but Dean steeled himself this time though it hurt him so much to hurt her this way but the need to be alone is so pressing that he hopes she would understand.

"Please, I must do this. I need to do this" he says quietly that Ellen reluctantly lets him go, cradling his face in her trembling hands, she says,"Okay...just one small request, for your poor old aunt, sweetheart?" 

Dean looks at her and nods lightly. "Would you stay in Bobby's boat? I won't disturb you, I promise..just knowing where you are give me some peace, Dean." she entreats, voice full of hope that Dean says yes.

Overcome with relief, Ellen kisses his forehead hard in tears and whispers a soft thank you. She then leave him to prepare dinner for everyone as soon as Dean told her that he'll move out the very next day after clearing his things in his dorm.

"He found out the town and city Castiel's in but needed more information to locate the phone's subscriber." Bobby tells Mary and Ellen heard his conversation as she enters the kitchen.

"How soon you think we can find him because I'm afraid only Castiel will get through to Dean at this rate. He wanted to move out of here but I asked him to stay in your boat and he said yes. I'm sorry if I didn't ask you first, Bobby but is it alright with you?" she asks apologetically and Bobby nods eagerly to her relief.

"That's a brilliant idea, El! I worried about the kid too but he needed some space to sort out his issues. I'm sorry I'm not much help..too poor with right words to say to him." he mutters softly then adds,"He'll be safe there with my boater friends around, Ellen, don't you fret...I'll ask them to look out for him."

Ellen gives him a warm, sad smile and utters a soft thank you. Mary gets up to give her dear friends a group hug and says,"We will all watch him from afar.." she promises.

Sam appears and asks what's going on. Sadly, Ellen tells him about Dean's decision. Sam objects, immediately berates her for giving up so easily on her nephew that Mary jumps to her defense. "Sammy, Ellen's doing the right thing. I'm sure this is a temporary situation and Dean think he needs to deal with it himself. But that doesn't mean we all stop caring about him sweetie."

Sam's unsatisfied but when told about Dean quitting school and living in Bobby's boat, he's placated somewhat. "I will talk to him then go to town. Do you guys need anything?" he asks and Mary looks at him.

"You're meeting someone, Sammy?" she asks curiously with a small smile because Sam wouldn't go to town alone without Dean.

"I'm going to look for a job..I'm going to quit college too." he states and left without waiting for her reply. He decides to find one close to where Bobby's boat docked.


	66. Chapter 66

Castiel rubs his forehead as he listens to Bella's woes. She's been sharing with him her unhappy marriage to Antonio and that as Catholics, they're not allowed to get a divorce. Her confession about not being in love with her husband anymore had her in tears.

This information she gives makes Cas a little uneasy, only because they barely knew each other but as an aspiring priest he has to listen, be partial. He trusts Bella and would want to at least help them perhaps by asking to speak to Antonio about this issue they have. Cas' innocent proposition had her flew off the handle instantly.

"You don't believe me!" she spat incredulously, in angry tears.

Cas straightens in his seat and tries to calm her by touching her trembling hand, reflexively before pulling away."Sorry!" he utters. "Bella, listen to me. You confessed in me and I thank you for trusting me enough but I may be able to help you both by hearing him out too." explains Cas readily but she's far from being mad at him now. The brief contact he initiated was enough to warm her pining heart. She wants him. 

"Cas.." she speaks softly, moving closer towards him on the couch, their faces almost touch. Cas, realizes what she's up to, quickly gets up and excuses himself. Better stop her now before something undesirable happen. Not that Cas would do anything with her since his heart and mind constantly on Dean. It's her mindless action that he's afraid of. She's clearly distraught and lonely. It will be unkind to embarrass her further so therefore Lying is necessary at that point.

"I have to go, Bella! I forgot that the cook needed my help to prepare dinner for the children. I am sorry, please, convey my regards to your husband when he's back, alright. Take care, Signora." he says while leaving the house in a hurry. This time he doesn't miss the accusing eyes out on the street but he's not afraid for his conscience is clear. What wrenches his heart was that he could hear Bella's anguished cries behind the door.

"Dean. I heard that you're leaving. At least, let me help you move your things there." offers Sam with hope that Dean would agree. Fortunately, the blond does and he gives him a wan smile. "Guess what? I'm quitting college too." he adds that Dean stares at him in disbelief.

"Why'd you do that for, Sammy? Please stop doing things on my account! I don't appreciate it!" he expresses furiously. 

"Hey..hey...relax...I'm doing it because it's not fun cause you're not there, Dean. That's all. My mom's not selling her artwork much these days and we kind of need more money right now. Can't live free of charge on Bobby's turf forever right? " Sam laughs lightly, hoping to downplay the tense situation.

Dean doesn't respond, even though he's mad at Sam's decision, amazed that he still cares for his friend despite his own condition.

"I'm going to town to buy some stuffs. Maybe you'd like to come along with me?" Sam asks lightly as he ready to leave.

"No, Sammy. I'm tired. Need to wake up early to clear my dorm." he replies and Sam looks at him. "Can I come with you?" he asks and adds,"I'd like to clear mine too."

"..yeah..why not.."


	67. Chapter 67

Castiel ends up helping the cook and her assistant because he feels bad lying to Bella earlier. He can't stop thinking about her since, wondering if she's alright now or what's her husband reaction when he founds out that she's been crying. Cas knows that he shouldn't be feeling guilty but somehow the bad feeling won't leave him.

So he decides to join the children during dinner. They're overjoyed and it warms his heart looking at their happy faces. One of them asks if he'll be staying with them for good in Italian. His mentor hears the boy and helps translate it to Cas in English. Stuck for an answer, Cas looks at the priest for help. The older man tells the child that Cas will only be there till they get a permanent replacement. In an instant he receives loud, clamorous voice of protests from all the children in the hall. Castiel hurriedly calm the kids down and then asks his mentor what he'd said to make the children responded in displeasure. The old priest tells him the truth and Cas only nods. 

"If the adverse situation presents itself one day, Signore Castiel, would you consider staying here permanently? The children adored you and they're much better behaved since you've arrived. It's almost like a miracle and it will be my honor to have you lead them alongside my old self in the righteous path." praises the devout man kindly that Cas wishes to reciprocate his words with something equally positive but he can't find the right things to say. 

"Castiel? I'm sorry, son. I hope I am not pressurizing you, its just a suggestion, a request actually...from deep in my heart. You're presence here is blessed by the Lord Almighty and I thanked Him every night for sending you to us. But if you have other plans, I understand too. I will visit the head church later this week to discuss this matter again." his confession that leaves Cas feeling more guilty.

"You're not putting pressure on me, Father. In fact, I want to thank you for thinking so highly of me where we both know I still have so much to learn and errors that I have to mend. The truth is that...I....I miss home and I didn't expect to stay away that long. Are there any news from Father Roberto yet?" he asks suddenly that the old priest shakes his head in despair.

"Castiel...I'm sorry to say that he's not coming back. The church moved him back to Rome few days ago, my son and they can't disclose to me the reason for his sudden transfer. I sincerely hope that you would take his place but I understand your woes too. May I ask you a very personal question?" asks his mentor kindly with a smile that Cas immediately says yes.

"Is there anyone special back home that misses you too? A lady friend, perhaps?" he asks that Cas' so tempted to say yes but then only realizes that he has to lie about Dean and he hates that.

"No, Father. Just my parents and my closest friends, Sam and Dean." he replies, it hurts him inside nevertheless at this vague admission.

"Ah...I see. Maybe they can come visit you here? May I ask you a very small favor then, Castiel?" asks the Father and Cas nods again readily since the old priest is nice enough to hear his problems.

"Would you be kind enough to extend just another three more months here until I get someone to replace you. You're a tough act to follow, Castiel and I don't wish to just choose anyone to fill in your shoes." commends the priest again gently that Cas smiles genuinely this time. Three months are short, he can do it, God willed for him to do it. Whatever plans He might have for him, Cas is willing to make the sacrifice.

 

 


	68. Chapter 68

"Well, here we are, putting the carriage before the horse..." Sam jokes and he manages to make Dean smiles a little. They're at their dorms clearing their things before making their exits official. 

"I'll come over to help you once I'm done, alright? I don't have as much things as you do anyways." tries Sam again but Dean's not smiling this time since most of the things in his room belongs to Castiel. His lover likes to mark his territory all over Dean's room, luckily the latter doesn't have a roommate. 

He's sad to think that their relationship's over but then knows it's for the best. Nothing can happen between them especially now that he's totally damaged. He had a fitful sleep the night before despite taking the sleeping pills. The nightmares stayed with him long after he's awaken which means he's falling deep into depression.

No doctor could remedy that, he realizes with regret. They're only doing their job, never truly cared about how he actually felt. And Cas, he did the right thing by leaving him. Which man in the right mind would want a broken lover like him. Maybe he realizes his mistake and runs away for good. Bobby says the calls Cas made were from Naples, Italy. For all Dean knows he could be anywhere in the world now, far far away from him. God protected people like Castiel not him. 

He sighs tiredly and then turns to Sam who looks on worriedly, waiting for his answer. Yup, he almost forgot the tall guy standing there. 

"..yeah, sure, just open the door, I won't lock it." he replies finally and Sam wants so much to ask if he's alright but decides against it. He needs to tread carefully with Dean. Where before Dean readily accepts any kind of help or advice, now he's different. Any slightest show of concern seems overbearing to him and it saddened Sam who always think himself as Dean's confidante and vice versa. He wonders if the role's reverse, would he push Dean away like he's being pushed now?

It's hard to know because he can only imagine Dean's sufferings in the hands of his old man. He nods and walks away slowly to his dorm in the other building. At least Dean's not locking his door, he thought gratefully.

Dean stops to look at his small room. Cas' things everywhere that they're hard to miss. Hot tears well fast in his eyes that he angrily brushes them away. Refuse to be sad when Cas obviously forgotten about him. There're no more calls from him recently which led Dean to believe so. He turns on some heavy metal music, glad that the spring break is still on and his neighbors are all gone.

For some reason, he avoids looking at his phone by the night stand. Afraid of what he might or might not see on the recording machine. Immersed in the loud music, he began packing all his belongings including Cas'. He simply rips all their photos together on his wardrobe and throws them into his duffel bag without caring. His heart's been hurt for the last time by the ones who're supposed to protect it.

An hour after he's almost done, Sam comes in and asks if he needs help. "I'm done, Sammy. Let's go." he says and Sam nods while taking a quick glance of his room. That's when he sees the blinking light from the machine and walks over to it before Dean could stop him.

"You have few messages, Dean." he says and plays them all.

Dean fell to the floor in tears upon hearing Cas' sorrowful voice beseeching his love, their love, not to be forgotten. Sam only watches helplessly before braving himself to soothe his wrecked friend.

 

 


	69. Chapter 69

Antonio is in a very good mood. He had just spent half the day with an old flame on the other side of town without his young wife's knowledge. Bella thought that he's catching up with his drinking buddy, Ricardo. Antonio laughs thinking about the vain city girl from the North he married and can't wait to fuck her next. Merely out of obligations, as her husband. 

He clearly remembers the day he pursues her three years ago, she's been an eager little cunt, greedy for his money and then he, thought, that there's no harm in getting a trophy wife. So he romanced her, proposed to her and had the most lavish wedding to impress her family. Her parents were close to his age and truth be told, they're against the wedding but Antonio didn't give a shit.

His giddy young wife's eager to prove to her parents that they're dead wrong about her new yet old husband who then brought her to his home in Naples. Brought her to reality actually because the moment they arrived, she was so disappointed to see the condition of their neighborhood and Antonio wasted no time in laying all the rules for her. She can never leave the house, the shop, not even the town. She's his prisoner. 

Deadly warnings were given if she tries to run away or start an affair with other men. Without her knowledge, he hired a few of his nosy women neighbors for a modest sum, but they're grateful anyways cause he's the richest man there, to watch his young bride. 

Now, his spies can't wait to tell him what they saw the moment he parks his car. The scandal between a young foreign priest and a horny bride has spread fast and wide in less than a day that its their duty to tell the husband.

Antonio's rage is unbelievable. Bella's kicked and slapped like a rag doll that the spies too felt sorry for her but there's nothing they could do. This is a sacred God fearing town and the slut has smeared it with her adulterous sin! She should be stopped before her beauty ruins their marriages too. Sick of their husbands ogling her all the time without discretion.

"WHERE DOES HE LIVES, BITCH?!!" Antonio roars in his language that sounded ten times more menacing. Bella lays motionless on the floor and he gets a little panic, thinking that perhaps in his incontinent rage, he might've accidentally killed his wife. 

Antonio quickly checks her breathing and sighs with relief. The slut's alive and suddenly he feels disgusted to be around her. "Let that be a lesson for you, cunt!" he growls and kicks her abdomen one last time before driving off to visit his other mistress.

 

 

 


	70. Chapter 70

Sam lets Dean cried his heart out while holding him tight, relief that Dean doesn't resist his help. All those moments when they were younger, relying on each other's support during trying times, especially when Cas left for New York, flashes bright on their minds.

The familiarity, warmth and comfort are impossible to ignore that Dean began lamenting on his own fate being his father's and Cas' victim over and over again.

Pushing Sam away in angry tears suddenly, he yells and kicks, spat obscenities at him to leave him alone but Sam only holds him tighter and in his desperation, he inadvertantly confesses his feelings to the distraught man.

"Dean please stop! Please, I love you! I've always loved you!" Dean stops momentarily, glaring at him and pushes him away harder upon hearing his heartfelt admission. Words he obviously don't deserve to hear.

"I HATE YOU!! I HATE ALL OF YOU!!" Dean growls, hot tears streaming down his now red face but Sam's steadfast in his attempts to subdue him. "..I love you..!!.I'm here for you.. I've always been Dean.." Sam admits in choked sobs, wanting so much for Dean to believe in him. Dean breaks down, falling into his arms, surrenders weakly at the sincerity of his words for its true that Sam has always been his rock besides his own aunt and Cas. 

Cas...his heart ached at the thought of his love for the man but this is the truth he must face. Cas is a fantasy, Sam is reality. 

It feels like forever until he finally calms down. First thing he does is deleting Cas' messages before Sam can even stops him. Sam understands but worried too if Dean regrets his action later.

Then the blond turns to him and says,"I'm sorry but I can't love you Sammy.....you wanna know why?..."

Sam knows but he shakes his head lightly at him, willing his tears to be kept at bay for the things Dean about to say.

"Cause I don't love myself anymore.." Dean whispers sadly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote in a rush. Will refine soon later! Lol


	71. Chapter 71

Cas is rushing to the post office to mail another letter to Dean but somehow his steps falter when he passes Bella's shop house. Guilty mind has been worrying about her since they met the night before. He notices too that Antonio's car's not there so he knocks softly on her door waiting for either of the Russo's to answer. Bella does after a moment of hesitation when she sees Cas through the window.

The bruises on her face and body causes Cas to gasp in horror that he wastes no time to ask her what has happened, ignoring the eyes behind his back. Nosy neighbors at their work again, gossiping about them. Her condition takes precedence and he simply doesn't care if Antonio himself is watching them. Cas has a strong suspicion that the Italian man did this to his wife. Anger flares through his veins especially when Bella starts crying inconsolably. 

Cas follows her into her home and closes the door behind them. 

"You shouldn't quit college, now what you're gonna do with yourself, Sammy?" asks Dean, looking at the cheeseburger in front of him absently. He has no appetite but Sam had insisted they eat something first before he goes back to the cottage.

"I'm getting a job in town. There're few vacancies for assistant shop keepers at a huge video store. Hope they still do.. cause the ad looks kinda old and all..." explains Sam, laughing.

Dean sighs and stares at the sunny beach from the alfresco joint before replying softly. "You're an undergrad, on your way to be a film maker. You're making a wrong move Sammy." 

Sam clears his throat and straightens in his seat. Dean's making a conversation even when it's only about him but to Sam, its a progress he should encourage. "Well...I'm thinking maybe we could work together, earn some money and study part time too. Or.. would you like to help my mom? She's been struggling lately...lack of inspiration and all, she said. I'm worried about her, Dean."

His confession about his mother's career situation catches Dean's attention but the response he receives is only,"I don't know Sammy...maybe...I'll help her.."

Sam smiles warmly and says,"Thank you.. I truly appreciate this." Dean then pushes the burger towards him.

"I'm not eating this. You have it." he says and sips his soda nonchalantly. Sam's not going to argue with him this time. He will let Dean be because he knows that only time will heal all pain. Dean will heal. If only John and Cas didn't ruin it for him. The resentment Sam feels for those two increase every time he thought of them. Well, at least John's met his Maker and Sam's sure he's rotting in hell right now. And as for Cas, Sam hopes that he realizes one day the serious problems he caused Dean and gets his just desserts too. Little does he know that his wishes come true soon enough for a friend who's slowly becoming his enemy.

"Think I'm gonna have a swim." Dean says almost to himself as he places the bills on the table and walks towards the beach.

Cas holds Bella as he tries to convince the desolated woman to call the police. He almost did it earlier but she begs him not to since its the first time Antonio hit her, maybe he will feel remorse and comes back to apologize to her. Truth was, she doesn't want to get Cas involve in her mess. To have him there, comforting her is all she needs. She's just so glad that he cares about her and her admiration for him deepens.

Cas relents after his fruitless efforts in getting her to change her mind. She makes him promise to come by again when he can, just to talk without Antonio around. This isn't easy for Cas to agree on but he worries for her. If his friendship helps, then he should be the good Samaritan. He gets up to tend to her injuries properly. She winces but thanked him for his kindness.

"Do you want to use the phone before you leave?" offers Bella gently with a weak smile. It breaks Cas' heart to see her so sad and lonely. He's lonely too and thought that maybe he will talk to her about Dean when she's better. 

"No, Bella. I'm here for you and please don't cry. Take care of yourself and try talk things out with him when he's calmer, alright? I will visit you again, I promise. Need to rush to the post office before they close, hope you'll understand." he confesses apologetically but Bella hushes him, saying that she understood.

"You take care too, Castiel. Till our next meeting...arrivederci.." she kisses both his cheeks softly. Her actions been closely monitored by her husband's spy outside her window.

 


	72. Chapter 72

Crowley's about to leave the bar when he spots the two young men passed him by. He recognizes one of them instantly but refrains from calling out his name since Dean obviously didn't recognizes him or pretend not to. So the older man sits back on the stool and orders another glass of whisky, earning a raised eyebrow from the counter. 

"Thought ya leaving, Scotsman." he smirks as he removes his tips from the counter.

"Mind your own business, pal." states Crowley as his eyes fixed on the two figures who're heading for the beach. 

"Lookin for twinks? I know the blond and he's queer, always come here after a swim. The taller one's not, so don't go barkin up the wrong tree....Scotsman.." laughs the bartender lightly but Crowley simply shrugs.

"I've seen the blond once." says Crowley before turning around to face the server. "I want you to do me a favor." he asks quietly.

"Sure Scotsman! With a tiny token, consider it done." hints the bartender with a leering smile that had Crowley shakes his head in disgust but pulls out a wad of cash from his wallet nevertheless. The bartender's big eyes widens at the sight. 

"I'm paying their drinks if they come later so don't bill them, especially the blond. And uh..half of that's for you." says Crowley and the bartender readily gives him Dean's name.

"That's a nice name for a nice face.." Crowley smiles and adds. "I really like him but I'm not ready to introduce myself yet."

"Why, man? I already told you he's queer. At least tell me your name so it won't be so weird." remarks the man while counting the crisp notes.

"I have my reasons!" Crowley snipes, thinking about his own anonymity. No one knows his name around here since he always paid in cash to protect his shady lifestyle.

"Whatever you say Scotsman.." the bartender replies lazily as he slips the cash in his back pocket.

Dean swims without stopping once but Sam has no problem catching up with him. Thankfully, there aren't too many swimmers since the water is still pretty cold and it's easier to spot Dean. Sam knows what he's trying to do so he stays as close as possible that at one point Dean finally stops and turns abruptly to him.

"Why are you following me?!!" Dean yells above the loud waves. 

"Why are you swimming away from me?!!" yells Sam back, rubbing the salt water off his face, staring at Dean.

"I'm not gonna kill myself!! Just please let me be!! Jesus!!" Dean responds in frustration but Sam's not letting up. "Nope! I won't take any chances when it comes to you, Dean!" he replies seriously that Dean immediately submerges himself into the water. 

Sam dives in without hesitation and pulls him up though Dean struggles to be free from his strong hold, kicking and pushing him away. "Let me go!! Let me go!!" Dean grunts but Sam's not letting him go. He pulls Dean's face towards him. "DEAN!!! Stop! Listen to me! Look at me! I am your friend and I will never let you go! No matter what! Never!." Sam yells at Dean's face in his hand while his other supports his torso and his legs kicking furiously in the water to keep them afloat. Dean breaks down that Sam immediately embraces him and let him cry his heart out.

"..never Dean...never.." he vows almost to himself.

Crowley watches them with interest. From his distance, it looks as if the boys are kissing but it doesn't seem so. The bartender assures him that they're just friends and Dean's beau hasn't been around for quite a while.

"What's the boyfriend's name?" he asks and the bartender replies. "Castiel."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	73. Chapter 73

Castiel feels like screaming. The post office, his only hope to get in touch with Dean via the mails he sends is closed due to strike. The huge red notice on the front door placed obviously by the disgruntled employees is like a hard slap on his face. He frantically asks the locals how long will the concession last but as soon as they point out,"Non date! Non date!" Castiel realizes in fear that it won't be operating again, ever.

Too many establishments closed because of corruption in this town, Bella had told him the first time they met. He walks back dejectedly, with tears running down his face but he doesn't care to wipe them off. Let them flow or he will definitely go crazy over these insane obstacles he's facing, he thought sadly to himself. God is adamant to admonish their relationship and there's nothing for him to do now except rebel against the religion he upholds so dearly. Its Dean or God. Sin or redemption. He chooses Dean.

He runs like crazy towards the orphanage to tell his mentor his decision. He confesses his love for Dean and how primitive the small town is since everything's not in order, better leave for America for his sanity's sake. Amazingly, the priest listens to all his confessions without the slightest interruption and only after he's done, the older man began to talk. At first, Castiel argues with him but seeing the older man keeps calm the entire time, he relents. It's not the first kind of confession the old priest ever hears and Cas's just one of them.

His experience in handling homosexual crisis is exceptional, especially those who're laden with guilt and conscience like his young protege here. And like the rest, Castiel would eventually be cured of his sinful needs, the old priest is very sure of that and glad that Cas chose him to confide in. Father Roberto would have let him take the first flight back to the states. 

"Give me your letters, son. I will mail it in the city when I go visit the church again next week." assures the man of the cloth knowing that he'll be forgiven for his lies to rid Castiel of worldly sins.

"Thank you so much, Father, please forgive me for saying such horrible words to you earlier. I will be in contrition for the rest of the evening. Good night."

"Dean, I think we need a drink. I don't know about you but I'm freezing to the bones." Sam shivers as he pulls the towels tighter to his body. Dean's quiet since they emerged from the cold water but Sam doesn't mind. As long as he's alive and well, that's all that matters to him. They walk slowly towards the bar and the bartender's extremely excited to see them. Crowley has left the premise slightly before they arrive and when Sam's about to pay their drinks, the bartender simply say,"It's been taken care of."

"By who?" asks Sam curiously

The bartender smiles and winks knowingly at Dean who looks absently at the expensive liquor bottles on the wall. "His admirer."

 

 

 

 


	74. Chapter 74

The heated conversation between Sam and the bartender gets Dean attention finally that he asks, "A Scotsman?" Sam doesn't miss the curiosity in his voice.

"Yes! He was...I've been trying to tell Sasquatch here that's all I know of the man but he still won't believe me! Whatever dude!" huffs the bartender, slapping the towel on his shoulder and walks away to attend to other customers.

"Hey!! Hey!! Does he have a beard?" Dean calls out and the bartender replies without turning. "Yup! Full face honey!"

Sam looks at Dean and asks. "Dean? You know this guy?" Dean takes a sip of his apple whiskey and shakes his head.

"No. I just wanna piss him off." he points at the bartender who's now laughing with a sexy lady customer.

Sam doesn't believe him that he repeats his question. "Sam. I said no, okay? I just want you guys to stop bickering like old ladies is all! I wanna go back to the boat. I need to sleep while this alcohol in my system."

"You need to eat dinner first, Dean. Lets order some appetizer at least?"Sam suggests and Dean sighs, wondering how long can Sam tolerate his shitty behavior since he can't even stand himself. He doesn't mean to be that way but that's how he's feeling since the incident. He wants to hate Cas....the man who leaves a gaping hole in his heart but he can't. How can he feel anything anymore when that feeling too totally gone.

But Sam's not gonna let him wallow in his sadness, let him drown himself, hovering him like a shadow, always. It's not fair for Sam, he has a life to live, not to care for a broken person like him. Then his mind strays to his admirer as Sam reads the menu. Could it be him? The man in that room, the one with the accent, that paid for their drinks? 

"I need to go to the restroom, Dean. Can you order the buffalo wings and potato skins for us?" asks Sam, getting off his stool in a hurry.

"Sure." Dean replies and as soon as Sam's gone, he signals for the bartender.

"What?" the man asks nonchalantly.

"The Scotsman. Can you give him this note next time he comes here?"asks Dean softly as he scribbles on his napkin . The bartender smiles and says,"Sure kid." He can't wait to wring some money out of Scotsman before he does the favor.

"Thanks." Dean says and quickly signals for the bartender to go when Sam reappears.

"Have you ordered?" asks Sam with a smile as he sits next to him.

"Shit. I forgot. Sorry." Dean replies apologetically since the bar's getting busier by the minute but Sam says its okay and went on to place the order. 

Antonio arrives home, drunk as a skunk but fortunately for Bella, he falls right onto the couch and passes out. It's getting late and the sky's getting dark. She wonders if Cas still awake at this time of the night to receive her later. She turns to her slumbering husband. Without much thought, she grabs her sweater and scarf and rushes out of the house with his car keys. The abused wife is determined to meet the man who cares for her well being. 

The old priest is pleasantly surprised by her appearance at the orphanage. And when she asks for Castiel, his interest piqued and immediately invites her inside. He doesn't fail to comment on her bruises though and when she confesses what happen, he takes pity on her. So Castiel is her savior. This is God's good work. He's the one to arrange this meeting between these two souls and if he, the old priest could help in any way possible, he would. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baibai Crowley :'(


	75. Chapter 75

"What do you mean you can't trace the number? Is it private? Or your men not looking hard enough?" fumes Zachariah over the phone. He's finally back in Los Angeles to meet his lover Mary. The blond was elated and cried happy tears in his arm telling him everything that had happened. Needless to say, Zachariah's already at his wit end with his wife, Naomi especially since she tried selling their mansion without his consent. The man had thrown the agent out while he was putting up the For Sale sign near his front gates. 

"It's going to be alright, Mary. I will deal with her and the other problems. Don't you fret, baby. And why don't you tell me that you're struggling with your paintings? I could've wired you some money to tide over, honey. Don't stand on ceremony with me.." Zack laughs lightly and kisses Mary's head."I plan to marry you as soon as I got the divorce and I can hardly wait, sweetheart."

Mary's speechless but she breaks into a huge grin as tears fell from her face. "Oh Zack! I do wanna marry you too!" 

Bobby and Ellen look at each other and then smile at the couple. At least there's some happiness in the midst of all these mess. Ellen wonders about the boys since they've been gone for quite sometime and when Sam arrives alone, her heart sinks. She knows that Dean choose to stay at the boat already and it hurts her feelings. She really wishes that her nephew confides in her like he used to as a child but realize too well that this time's totally different.

"Dean's already staying in the boat, Sammy?"she asks sadly and Sammy nods without looking at her because he feels what she feels, the pain of slowly losing connection with Dean. 

"I..uh...I'm gonna sleep early tonight. I got a job interview tomorrow morning. G'night aunt El.." he bids before heading towards his room at the back. Ellen stops him to give him a comforting hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Good night and good luck sweetheart..thank you for watching over Dean for me.." she smiles and Sam sees the unbridled tears in her eyes. He hates Dean for doing this to his aunt but at the same time understands why he's behaving so. Sam feels helpless but he will not give up on Dean.

Ellen thinks that at this rate, only Castiel can get through to him but Sam has the strangest feeling that the man won't be coming back anytime soon. It's just a gut feeling. He can't sleep that night, thinking about all of them. He saw Zachariah talking to his mom and they're all going to have dinner the next day to discuss Dean's and Cas' situation. The old man was clearly worried about his favorite son and truth is, Sam's wondered about his friend's situation in the foreign country too. He tries not to dwell on it though because Dean's his priority right now. 

Dean's lying on the cot looking at the stars from the small cabin window. He recalls the first time he and Cas walked down the canal..so many years ago..watching the same stars up above. The sweet memory has him in tears that he berates himself for his weakness, trying hard to erase Cas' images from his mind and focus on his so called admirer, the Scotsman.

Dean left a note for him saying that they should meet at one of the bar along the pier that night but wonders if he'll ever get the message. Sam would flip if he finds out what he's done but then he himself doesn't know what he's doing. For all he knows the Scotsman could be a stalker.

He thought about Sam again, dearest Sammy who's in love and cared so much about him and the tears started again. "Stop fucking thinking about them!" he curses at his self and grabs his leather jacket, wallet and keys before storming out of the boat. The bars are still open and most of them are busy. He walks into the last one and then saw the Scotsman. He's right, it's the same guy and for some reason, Dean felt a little relief. He remembered the man was reluctant to tell him his name. It seems that they both have secrets and it suits him fine. He can be someone else that night. 

"Hello Dean....I thought you changed your mind. I'm so glad to see you though. My name is Crowley and... I'd like to be your friend."


	76. Chapter 76

Dean dismisses Crowley's handshake and looks straight into the man's eyes. "Thank you for what you've done and I will be your friend but with few conditions." he states seriously and Crowley nods as he straightens his back.

"Very well. What are they?" he asks the young man who's still standing before him gently. Behind the kid was the bouncer who's watching them from across the room. The burly guy must've thought that he's trying to jump an unwilling pretty twink. Well, sod of! thought Crowley as he waits for Dean's answer.

"Our friendship is between us only. So strictly No questions or talks about my past, my family or my friends. In return I will extend the same courtesy to you. Don't ask, don't tell. Got it?" Dean reinforces sternly and Crowley replies,"Yes. I understand very well, my dear." Dean flashes his green eyes at his term of endearment, but slides into the seat opposite him nevertheless.

Crowley's enchanted but he keeps his cool. He then signals for the waitress and asks what kind of drink Dean would like. Dean asks for two unopened beers that had Crowley's eyebrow raise, knowing that the kid doesn't trust him yet.

"You drink what I drink and I will pick up the tab." Dean says and Crowley responds,"Fine by me, dearest."

"And please stop calling me that, I'm not your wife!" scolds the blonde that Crowley can't help but chuckles softly. "Alright...I won't." and then adds,"This is good."

"What was?" Dean retorts and Crowley explains. "It's a good start. Our friendship and I mean it because I can be sassy too sometimes."

"Oh yeah?" Dean counters and Crowley smiles. "Hell, yeah."

The waitress comes back with their drinks and Dean opens the bottles himself. Crowley takes his and offers a toast,"To our secret friendship."

Dean ignores him and gulps his beer. Crowley's not offended the least but he wished to know more about this enigmatic young man before him, to be his friend or whatever become of them later. Crowley's nothing if not patient. He will earn Dean's trust one day.

 

"Lets see. We can't talk about the past. So that's left us the current and the future. What are you doing now, Dean? Are you studying?" he asks sincerely and Dean can tell that the man's not teasing him further.

"No. I quit school. I'm going to find a job and paint for leisure. You?" Dean asks and Crowley tells him that he's a broker. Dean looks at him skeptically but doesn't question. "It's the truth. I don't lie, at least to you." Crowley assures and Dean just shrugs as if he doesn't care for his explanation.

The older man wonders what's on Dean's mind but if the kid thought that by pulling that kind of attitude repels him, then he's greatly mistaken. Crowley likes a challenge but more than that, Dean actually reminds him so much of his first love years ago in Edinburgh. And that's why he can't stop thinking about him since the day he saw the twink on his bed.

Memories of his boyfriend who bore a startling resemblance to Dean makes him smile to himself.

"What are you grinning about?" asks Dean curiously, thinking that perhaps he's "dating" a loony.

Crowley looks at him and smile. "Don't ask, don't tell. Remember?" he teases that Dean rolls his eyes while gulping more beer.

"I once had a boyfriend, ages ago and he looked so much like you, Dean but...gentler.." he adds the last word with a teasing tone that Dean spat,"Well! I'm not your boyfriend and I sure as hell won't be gentle with you." Crowley laughs so hard much to Dean's chagrin. 

"What's so funny, Scotsman?!" rebukes Dean irritably and Crowley remarks between his laughter."Your words could be easily misconstrued, be careful young man!"

"What the hell are you talking about? You know what I mean?!" attacks Dean angrily but wonders at the same time what he said to make the man so happy as such.

"Think again what you just said, Dean. Good thing it's me because some other old sleazebag will take it as a pickup line, sweetheart." says Crowley, still laughing but softly this time. Dean can't help but realizes what he just accidentally implied that he eventually laughs along with his new friend. 

Crowley holds his beer bottle up again for a toast and this time, Dean accepts it with a smile.

 

 

 

 

 


	77. Chapter 77

Bella's actual reason for her visit distress Castiel. He initially thought that she's trying to escape another hit from Antonio but apparently the man had drunk himself to a stupor and had no idea his wife's missing. 

"Please caro mio!...I beg you...let me stay here..please! You make me feel safe. I don't want to be anywhere near that monster anymore! He will kill me Castiel!" implores the brunette in tears when Cas keeps persuading her to go home.

"Okay...listen, Bella. I will take you to the police station. We report the abuse to them and I will make sure they'll do something about him." Cas suggests calmly but Bella bursts into tears, shaking her head, saying she didn't want to go where there's no protection.

"I don't trust the authorities, Cas! Antonio is influential. He will bribe them and then hit me worse than before if not kill me for ruining his reputation! You don't understand how things work here, caro mio! Please, let me stay here!" she begged in a trembling voice that the old priest turns to Cas and says,"Castiel. Let her stay in your room and you reside in my office, sleep on the old leather couch. Tomorrow, after the children's breakfast and prayers, you shall take her home to her husband and lecture him about his horrible treatment towards her. Fear not my son. You're a man of God and therefore he can't harm you."

Cas' ready to protest, saying that it's risky but his mentor waves him off gently. "You are going to be fine, Castiel. Have faith."

Bella thanked the priest who then leaves them alone. Cas' speechless, loss of words to say to the distraught woman before him. He can only foresee trouble ahead of them and there's nothing he can do about it. "Let me take you to my room. I think you should rest, Bella. It's so late." he says quietly and Bella holds his hand. 

"Can we talk for awhile? Please?" she pleads and Cas can't find it in his heart to turn her down. Once in his room, she confesses her desire to leave Antonio and in tears, confesses her love for him.

"You're confused now, Bella because of what happened to you. We only knew each other for what? A few days? How can there be love, signora?" Cas states gently.

"It doesn't matter! I like you and you care for me. I am falling for you, caro mio!. You're so different from everyone I know here. You're a breathe of fresh air and I promise...I promise to be good to you always!" cries Bella holding Cas hands tighter in hers. 

"Bella, I am your friend and your confidante and that's all I will ever be to you. You deserve someone better than me, better than Antonio, my dearest friend but don't worry, I will help you even though it's not going to be as easy as Father just said earlier. I will take the risk in meeting your husband tomorrow and remind him of his errors. Hopefully something good will come out of it, that he'll repent and treats you better." promise Cas kindly.

Bella smiles and cradles his face,"Castiel, I know you're afraid to have a relationship with me because of the profession you've chosen or maybe Antonio himself but we can be discreet, caro mio. I will be careful for you, for us. Antonio might not want to release me but I don't care. As long as I can talk to you, be close to you like this, that's all I needed. Please don't deny me this, it's the only thing that made me happy lately." She then moves closer and kisses his lips chastely.

Cas' shuts his eyes and lets out a shaky sigh, the second she pulls away, hating himself for what he's about to say to her. Because the only way that he can think of to get out of this mess he didn't know he created is to confess to her about Dean and he did. At first, Bella refused to believe him, saying that he's just using that excuse because he's afraid to have a relationship with a married woman but after he showed her a picture of him and Dean and all the letters he meant to send to his beloved, she's rendered speechless. Cas watches her feature expression changes from shock to pure embarrassment.

Cas already expected her to react that way. He feels bad but at least his conscience is clear at last after confessing to both her and the priest on that same day. Nothing else will stop him from leaving Italy this time except God, Himself perhaps. He'll miss the orphanage, the children, the cooks and even his stoic mentor. Bella's fair face turns redder as she reads his love letter to Dean. Cas had made a fool out of her, let her pour out her feelings, crushing her happiness in the cruelest way possible. He could've spared her by telling this earlier. She can't breathe, too caught up with emotions to know who she's angrier at. Herself or him. One thing for sure, she can't look at the man in the eyes that very moment. 

"Bella...I'm so sorry." he says, reaching out for her hand that's gripping his letter till it crumpled.

"You should've told me....this is...this is..humiliating...you humiliate me Castiel...and you're a hypocrite..." she whispers hoarsely without looking at him. Cas rather have her shouting at him because her demeanor is very alarming. He wonders what's going on in her mind.

"Bella..you can be mad at me, I'll accept it but we both know that I have not once lead you on, Bella, so I've not humiliated you in any way. You don't love me, you're just lonely and needed someone to talk to, and here I am still your friend whether you still choose to believe it or not." assures Castiel as he moves closer to her. He tries to reach out for her hand but she stuffs the letter in her purse before storming out the door in angry tears.

"Bella? Where are you going??" he calls after her but she keeps on going. Her high heels click on the stone ground so loud that they wake the children and the old priest up. 

"Bella, wait!! Let me drive you home!! Father! Can I borrow your car keys please?" shouts Cas as he passes the old man. The priest ran in his room and give them to him. 

"What happened Castiel?" he asks but Cas yells back saying that he will tell him later. He saw Bella running fast down the street into a dark narrow alley and knowing too well that the car won't fit, he leaves it and chases the scorned woman down.

"Bella!!! Bella!!!" he shouts as he ran after her. Few people on the streets who recognize him, stop to watch. Their loud murmurs disappeared when he enters the alley where he last saw Bella. As he goes deeper,  he hears a woman's shrilling scream. He rushes to the source while praying in his heart that Bella's not in trouble.  In the darkness, he can't see who's out there waiting for him still but his desire to save Bella is so strong that he doesn't care about his own safety. "BELLA!!!" He keeps calling out her name and then suddenly someone punched the side of his face hard out of nowhere. He stumbles to the ground and tries to regain his footing but his attacker knocks him out cold and left. 

It's a few hours later when he comes around and finds out that no one comes to his aid. He wonders if his attacker's the same person that could've attack Bella but in his condition, he knows he can't fight the man or men on his own. So he walks back to the orphanage and tells the priest what happened. The Father said that he could've been mistaken about Bella's dire situation but Cas swears that it's her voice that he heard. 

"I'm sure she's alright Castiel. Women and children screaming in the middle of the night are common in this area. Fret not. I want you to rest up now, the children will be up soon for their prayers. Then later...I shall visit the signora at her home to see if she's alright. Now, give me her address." requests the old priest calmly as he reaches out for a pen and piece of paper for Cas. 

"Why don't we go check on her now, Father? I'm afra.."Cas starts but the priest hushes him. "Cas. I am more concern about who attacks you and left you to die alone in the dark alley. How dare someone attacks a man of God! We will both go to the police station in the afternoon after I speak to Bella and her husband. Now go wash up and sleep." commands the old priest that leaves no room for Cas to protest. His head throbs so much from the single blow that he falls asleep in the bathtub.

Bella's thrown unceremoniously right in front of her house before the car speeds away. She groans in pain, clutching the front of her torn blouse tight as she tries to get up. A neighbor who's leaving his house for work, saw her and rushes to her aid. She weeps pitifully as the old man carries her to her doorstep and bangs on the door hard.

"BELLA!!! Look who's out there, bitch!!" Antonio shouts in Italian when the incessant knocking didn't stop. "BELLA!!!" he yells again but when there's no answer from his wife from the room, he forces himself to get out of the couch and trudges slowly to open the door to the bastard who disturbs his sleep. He hopes that it's not one of his mistresses giving him a surprise visit again.

But what greets him is worse that he immediately hits the man who carries his injured wife. Luckily, the savior's quick to avoid his attacker and yells at him to stop, saying that he saw Bella sprawling in front the street as he's leaving for work. 

"BELLA?!! WHO DID THIS? WHO DID THIS?!!! I'LL KILL THAT BASTARD!! TELL ME HIS NAME, MIO AMORE!!!" growls Antonio. His loud voice and Bella's harrowing cries filled the entire hallway that other nosy neighbors start looking at them.

"GET LOST!! GET LOST ALL OF YOU!!!" he yells at them and then turns to his distraught wife.

"I'm sorry, my love..I will take you to the hospital and you will tell me who did this to you. I will hunt him like a fucking dog he was!" vows the husband in tears that Bella finally looks at him with her tearful, swollen eyes.

"Castiel." she whispers before she passes out in his arms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	78. Chapter 78

The deafening sound of loud siren and the old priest's anxious voice talking to someone in the hallway jolts Castiel from his sleep. He springs from the couch and opens the door only to be apprehended without preamble by three policemen. They cuff him and drag him out towards their patrol car, ignoring his repeated questions about what's going on and why are they arresting him.

His mentor trails after them, trying in vain to explain to the police officers, presumably about his innocence and that they had caught the wrong person. Fear sets in when he suspects that they had found Bella and whatever's happened to her now linked to him, the last person she met.

With all his might, he turned around and yelled at the priest."FATHER! GET HELP! GET ME A LAWYER! OR CALL THE US CONSULATE, THE CHURCH OR ANYONE THAT CAN HELP ME! PLEASE!!" One of the officer grabs his neck and tells him to shut up before shoving him roughly into the backseat of the patrol car.

"I will Castiel!! I am so sorry!!!" shouted the priest with regret as Cas watches him with hope by the window. The accused man spent the night in jail without being given any chance to prove his innocence after they told him what happened to Bella who's now receiving treatment in the hospital. She had mentioned Castiel's name before she blacked out and that's the only evidence they took until further investigation.

When he asks about her condition, the warden slaps him hard across his face for his audacity. He's warned to behave himself or they will place him in an isolation room without windows. It scares Cas to no end but he tries to remain calm even though his heart beats a mile a minute.

He rushes to the bench provided and began thinking of the positive and negative possibilities of his situation. His own disappearance hours after Bella disappeared in the alley, he's detained in a foreign country's jail and has no idea how the system works, Bella's husband, Antonio, a volatile and an influential man who would be glad to let someone else takes the blame when he himself abusive towards his own wife, especially now when it involves a serious crime like this.

The head Church will have to agree with the authorities that a just punishment should be meted out in order to keep the peace between them and the people. He has no immunity whatsoever even when he's doing God's good work at the missionary. No lawyers would want to represent him because of this reason alone. Cas felt like crying but he forced himself to stop wallowing and start thinking of the positive outcome next. His mentor able to get help and they will call the authorities in States or his family.

He didn't care if his situation will upset them as long as someone or anyone knows that he's in trouble and needs to get out of Italy as soon as possible! He gets up and paces the cement floor of the cell, muttering prayers under his breath while his mind busy thinking of what he can do to help himself. Bella's assault made him regret his actions the night before. If only he didn't upset her she would've been alright but then he can't lie about Dean anymore. Dean, the mere thought of his beloved had him in tears that he broke down and cry. 

The merciless warden shouts and hits the metal grill with his baton but Cas couldn't care anymore, crying openly for all of them to see. He's innocent, he'll never harm anyone and ironically the only one he would want to convince badly is Dean not them. It's Dean and Dean alone would understand!

Dean's so drunk that Crowley has to help him onto the boat and into the cabin. The Scotsman leaves only after he's sure that the boat's secured and no one's lurking around. It's about an hour after that, that Dean has a fitful sleep. He wakes up with a terrible headache and finds that he's back in the boat, Crowley must've taken him there. His mind at ease now knowing that his new friend can truly be trusted. He then gets up to take some Advil and wills himself to sleep but sleep never comes. His heart fills with trepidation but he doesn't know what he's afraid of since he doesn't have the nightmares anymore. For some reason, his mind strays to Cas and the wonderful times they spent together as children in the boat. He lets the memories calm him like he used to before and drifts off to sleep. 

The cooks and the priest try to usher the curious children back into the building when they keep asking what happened and why are the police taking their favorite Signore Castiel. Amidst the chaos, the old man notices two men staring at them. It's not uncommon to see thugs around the poor area and he can't help but wonder if they're the one who assaulted Bella and let Castiel takes the blame. The priest immediately berates himself for his ungodly assumptions and rushes into the building to work on his own contrition.

If only he could hear them talking at a distance to each other. One of them smirks when he confesses in thick Italian. "Hope that teaches the bastard Antonio to keep his old ugly dick in his pants and stops messing with other's wife." the other man laughs and replies, "Especially Not your wife, eh Ernesto?"  

 


	79. Chapter 79

An hour passes but it seems like eternity for Castiel in that cell. He begged to use their phone to call his family's attorney in the U.S but they had laughed and threw sarcastic remarks at him about the precinct's being too poor to foot the bill for a rich American. Every time the phone rings Cas jumps from the bench to get a better hearing of who's calling, praying that it's for him or at least someone giving the police some tips about the real perpetrator but disappointment greets him every time. No one's coming for him, no one's helping him and he's doomed to live behind a Naples prison forever.

And when the phone rings for like the hundredth time, Cas stops hoping. Then suddenly the cop who answers, yells into the receiver and look at Cas that gets his attention. He runs to the metal grill and demands the cop if the call's for him. The officer ignores him while shouting into the receiver with his fellow mates staring curiously at him. Cas notices too that they all have their hands placed on their guns on their waist. "HEY!! HEY!! WHAT'S GOING ON?!! IS THAT CALL FOR ME?!! LET ME TALK! LET ME TALK!! TELL ME WHO IT IS!!" yells Cas that the officer hurries his words and slams the phone on the receiver before marching angrily towards him.

The officer stops short right in front of him and mutters under his breath in broken English. "For you informazione, that Antonio COME Kill you. You want safe? YOU WANT SAFE, SIGNORE NOVAK?!"

Cas takes a step back and nods, comprehending the message. He goes back to his bench and sits quietly, staring at the paled officer. Gone were their raucous laughter earlier, replaced with silence and grim. 

"You sit quiet. No noise! Capire??" the officer's hushed tone is more alarming than his harsher ones. Cas wonders if Antonio's going to raid the police station to shoot him. Can he be that careless or stupid? Maybe he really loves Bella and he doesn't care anymore after seeing her condition. Cas knows he would do the same if anything happens to his beloved Dean. He tries not to dwell on the dangerous threat on him and continues to pray and think of ways to get out of his real sticky situation.

Sam's surprised to see Ellen already up and making brunch in the kitchen. "It's still early aunt Ellen, you should get more rest. I know you didn't sleep well last night. I can hear the music in your room."

"Oh Sammy, I'm so sorry. Did I disturb your sleep, sweetie?" asks Ellen apologetically but Sam kisses her cheek and says that it's okay because he can't sleep either. "Your soft classical music actually helped. I fell asleep eventually." he explains with a soft laughter.

"I'm going to the boat to bring these food for Dean. Have some Sammy before you leave." she offers as she packs the food in the containers.

"Thank you, El. I'm sure Dean will appreciate them even when he doesn't say anything later. So don't take it too hard yeah? One step at a time, remember?" reminds Sam gently and Ellen smiles at him.

"Let me drive you there. The bus frequency's pretty bad in the morning." Sam offers in return and Ellen takes it up readily.

"Thank you, Sammy. I hope he's doing okay. I wonder if Cas' ever calls again. Did he, Sam?" asks Ellen and Sam tells her about the voice messages Cas left on Dean's dorm's phone.

"He deleted them? Why?" she asks in disbelief. Sam shrugs and says he doesn't know, while eating his breakfast. "I think Dean wants all of us to lay off his case for a while...know what I mean, El?" he says and Ellen nods sadly. "Yes. I think I know. Hmphh.." she harrumphs quietly and adds,"Well...if that's what he wants then we'll give him his space but I draw the line where his eating habits are concern. I know he's been skipping meals again."

"You too aunt Ellen. Don't think I didn't notice." teases Sam semi seriously that Ellen smiles and kisses the top of his head saying,"What we'll do without you, Sammy?" 

 

 


	80. Chapter 80

It's past noon now and still not a single call for Cas that the officers began whispering among themselves while stealing glances his way. Cas tries to decipher bits and pieces of the Italian words they said, like innocente, ambasciata americana and avvocato. The last one had him confused thinking what's a fruit got to do with his case and suddenly it dawned on him that it's actually advocate not avocado.

He would've laugh if the situation is different. So they're talking about getting him a lawyer? Maybe get him one? Cas hopes increases that he politely asks them the exact same thing. "Can you get me a lawyer please?"

They looked at each other and then the officer who warns him before walks over. "Yes Signore Novak. Aspettare.. I uh..take numero."  he says and turns away but Cas calls him back. "What happened to Antonio? Did he come?"

The officer looks at him and shakes his head. Cas nods with obvious relief aparent on his face. The officer wanted to tell him that even when Antonio didn't show up like he said he would, doesn't mean he won't try to shoot him outside at the slightest opportunity. But knowing that his English is poor, he's afraid he might convey his warning incorrectly and the poor American kid will suffer in the hands of Bella's irate husband nevertheless.

"Aspettare.." he says again and walks away towards his phone. The rest of his fellow mates had finished their shift but he choose to stay on. Something about Cas makes him wonder if the kid's innocent. He picks up the phone and began making calls. Cas realizes that the man's finally trying to help him and then takes a moment to thank the Lord for His intervention through his prayers.

His private action closely watched by the officer who's now totally convinced that he's really innocent. One of the calls he made was to a reliable resource who could provide him details about foreign visitors. He promptly ask the officer for a favor in checking backgrounds of an American citizen visitor named Castiel James Novak on their system then ended the call.

"Anything? Anyone?" asks Cas with so much hope that the officer feels sorry for him though he can't portray his emotions. Cas is guilty until proven innocent in his city. Things sure works the opposite ways from where they both came from, he sighs and replies a soft, "No." He didn't tell Cas about his other efforts and ways to help him. Cas looks crestfallen but he didn't give up hope. The jail attendant then passes the officer a plate of food for Cas to eat. 

"Eat, Signore Novak." He offers kindly and places the tray underneath the grills. Cas takes it and thanked the man. He has no appetite even though the food looked somewhat palatable. Thank goodness for Italian cuisine, he thought and the officer insisted,"Must eat, Castiel." He turns around to see that the man's smiling at him that he returned the gesture warmly and eat his breakfast.

"Dean?" Ellen calls out while knocking on the boat's entrance door. "Dean? Are you in there? It's aunt Ellen."

Dean thought that he's dreaming when he hears his aunt's faint voice calling out his name. But when the knocking gets louder he realizes that he's not and tries to get up quickly. His head hurts like hell as a result that he groans in pain. Ellen hears him and began knocking louder. "Dean!! Are you alright?!! Please open the door sweetie!"

Dean pulls at his hair and opens the door. "Aunt...why are you here so early?" he grumbles and walks back inside.

"Well...I intend to go to the farmer's market in town. Thought I drop by...hope you don't mind." she lies while smiling softly at him.

Dean presses his temple hard to stop the pain and shakes his head. "Course not. Come in aunt." he offers and sits on the kitchenette booth.

Ellen hesitates for a bit then asks him carefully if he's feeling alright. "Just a slight headache. I drank too much last night." he admits, rubbing his face tiredly.

"Bobby still keeps his liquors here?" she tries to sound casual in case Dean thought she's accusing him of something.

"No. I went to a bar." he replies, hoping that his aunt won't ask him where or with who? He wants to keep his life private for a while. 

"Oh okay. I'm glad you had fun." Ellen responds and quickly changes the subject. "I brought some brunch, Dean. Zachariah's back so I actually made quite a feast this morning." she laughs and Dean smiles at her. He misses his aunt but for everyone's sake, this is the best way for now. He appreciates her effort and tells her so. 

"I miss you sweetheart.." she confesses, can't help herself when the tear began pooling in her eyes. Dean gets up and walks to her slowly. He hugs her and whispers that he misses her too. Ellen holds him tight and then brushes her tears away. Dean pulls away and asks if she's okay. She nods with a happy smile and say,"Let's eat. I'm starving!"

They ate their breakfast while making small talks about the boat and the job that he's currently looking for. Ellen's careful not to mention Cas or anything that will upset him. Dean quietly appreciates her thoughtfulness and offers her to come by again over the weekend. Her heart filled with so much happiness she wished Dean could see. 

Cas fell asleep somewhere between lunch and dinner when the officer calls out to him. "Signore Castiel!"

He scrambles to his feet and rushes to the grills. "Yes, officer? Any calls for me?" he asks anxiously. 

The officer grabs the phone on his table and passes the receiver to him. "He American polizia. Speak, Signore."

Castiel could kiss the man for the words he just uttered.

 

 


	81. Chapter 81

Castiel thought that the much awaited phone call could help him instantaneously but apparently not since the American authorities have to investigate his case thoroughly before taking any actions and it might take them months! They told him that they have to abide by the Italian law and until the actual criminal was apprehended, the best bet for the accused American is to stay behind bars where he'll be much safer. Antonio's threat's still at large out there much to his dismay. Nothing can be done to stop the man until he actually did something to Cas.

The warden felt sorry for him but there is really nothing else he could do. He had tried his best and hoped that for Cas' sake, something will come up in his favor soon. He can only imagine how the young man feel at that moment. Cas sat with his hands in his head. Prayers alluded him, his mind muddled, thinking about his horrible fate. Was he being punished for his decision to leave the church and choose Dean? The more he thought about his lover, the sadder he becomes that he began to cry.

Sam came over to meet Dean to tell him about his new job. Dean congratulated him and they both went to the pub to celebrate. The tall man can't help noticing that his friend's much more relaxed that day but refrained himself from asking questions. Whatever that made Dean happy, makes him happy and that's all that matters. Dean was happy because of his new friendship with Crowley but at the same time still wary about the Scotsman. What does he really wants from him? So far their conversation last night was amicable enough but Dean knew that's only the surface till Crowley expressed his actual intention.

Weeks went by and they've meet almost every night at the same pub. Crowley's a good conversationalist that Dean found that they could talk about everything under the sun except anything that's personal and he was amazed. The young man's getting restless though for not doing anything and Crowley recommended that he teaches art for children in a private school. The broker knew the headmistress there pretty well and Dean was thankful for his help. Sam was naturally happy for him but often wondered about the person responsible for these changes. It saddened him that he's not the one to bring it out of Dean but he set the feelings aside. Ellen too was mystified but they all knew better than snooping around behind his back. As long as it's a positive outcome, they should be encouraging the blonde.

Both Dean and Sam did well in their respective jobs, the former even helped Mary with hers and she felt so grateful to him. One late afternoon Zachariah received a phone call from the police who informed about his son's detainment in Naples. Shocked, he called Naomi to ask if she knew about this. His estranged wife fainted at the news and he couldn't even be bothered to know what happened to her next when he booked the next flight out to Italy. He told Mary not to mention anything to anyone about Cas' predicament, in case they told Dean who would be harder on himself. Mary told him not to worry and so off the man went in search for his son.

Bella's eyes teared as the nun counseled her patiently by the bedside. It's impossible to comprehend a word the good Samaritan said when her mind kept replaying the horrifying incident and the threats that came with it. Her attackers had warned her not to expose them if she wished to live longer. The thought of Castiel in jail, unjustly accused of raping her made her wanted to scream for justice but she was so afraid of the repercussions.

Even the local police who came to get a statement from her was disappointed. The woman was not responding to anything, only cried her eyes out every single time they questioned her. Pressure's building up when the foreign authorities demanded more action from them and in the next two days, Zachariah arrived with his lawyer to make matters worse for them. 

He was so incensed at when told that they still can't find Bella's attacker and that Cas' has to stay in jail for his own safety. Zachariah demanded that his son's removed from the cell to a decent room in that building instead. Chaos started when the chief and the warden argued about his request but after a lengthy and heated discussions with the patriarch, Cas was placed in a much better area, away from the common criminals. Cas broke into tears the moment he saw his father walking towards him next to the kind officer. The latter gave them a few moments to hug and talked before locking Cas in the room again. At least, it wasn't as depressing when he was in the cell and they provided much decent food for him at his father's attorney's behest. 

Waiting for Bella to sum up her courage to tell the truth about what happened that night take months and meanwhile Cas was banned from participating in any church services in Italy forever. Even though leaving it was his initial decision, it hurts to be banish in such manner. His father then angrily confessed Naomi's intention to put him away for good because of his love affair with Dean and his pain only deepened.

He never thought that his mother could be so heartless and when his father told him about his lover's harrowing fate in John's hand, Cas immediately cursed himself, in tears for his helplessness to protect the man he loved. Zachariah hastily assured him that Dean's getting much better now even though he chose to stay apart from the rest. He also promised his distraught son that he will do anything to reunite the lovers again. Cas thanked his father in tears before he left. 

One night, Dean finally asked Crowley the burning question in his head. The man was hesitant until Dean threatened to end their meetings immediately if he refused to tell the real reason for their friendship. 

"I will be honest with you, Dean. I wanted something out of this...us...at first...but I know now that's impossible since you don't want me that way." Crowley divulged. Dean smirked and replied,"Damn right I don't. No offence. Not you not anyone." But he was fooling himself because he still yearned for Cas' return despite his hatred for the missing man.

"Ouch. That hurts...but it's alright." Crowley joked and Dean said that he's only wasting his time on him.

"I'm not Dean. You don't know me. I love taking care of someone. Used to do so many times in the past, it becomes a habit." he confided lightly.

"Well, I thought I made myself clear from the start too, Crowley, that I don't need that from you or anyone." Not even Sam, Dean thought sadly to himself. His dear friend who respected his privacy but yet cared for him in his own quiet way. Dean knew whenever his aunt came to visit that she would convey his well being to Sam. Being with Crowley made him forget about his problems but rethink his friendship with Sammy. He must admit after two months being aloof, he began to miss his dear friend greatly. 

"I know...I was just testing the waters. But...if you ever changed your mind, Dean. I want you to know that I will always be here for you. No commitment, no sex, just great companion. Well..I guess perhaps...that's the only thing we needed..?" fished Crowley again but Dean answered tiredly,"You're really, really, really.. wasting your time on me, Scotsman. But whatever..." 

Crowley's confession made Dean pulled away slowly but the man's not a fool. He let Dean have his space but at the same time watched him closely from afar to ensure his safety. He wouldn't hesitate to harm anyone who dares touch a hair on that kid again. It's not possessiveness but the responsibility he felt whenever he's with Dean which he himself can't find the reason why. The last time he felt the same way was ages ago in Edinburgh. There's not a day that went by without him thinking about the dead boy he loved so much. Dean reminded him so much of his first love.

Sam didn't know what happened between now and the time Dean stayed away but one thing for sure, he was glad to have him back in their lives. Dean's much more calmer now, he even joked around and it's almost like having his old Dean again. Everyone else thought that he had finally buried his past because of Sam's continuous patience. No one knew about Crowley, the man who helped him without realizing that he did. Dean didn't forsake their friendship, even though they seldom meet and was glad that Crowley's not pressurizing him either. The man was indeed a good person and Dean hoped he would find someone worthy to care for soon. 

Things looked peaceful with the exception of Mary's secret about her lover's whereabouts. Zachariah has been staying in Naples, close to his son's place of captivity, doing all that he can to clear his name. Both the American and local investigators failed to solve Cas' case while his father was stalked by Antonio's men daily that he has to get protection. Fearing for his father's safety, Cas agreed to go to trial much to his old man's disapproval.

"Believe me, dad. This is my only hope and please pray that Bella agrees to take the witness stand and tell the truth what happened that night. And if they still find me guilty, then so be it. Go home and live your life father, take care of both mother and Mary. Watch over Dean for me, tell him nothing but how much I love him."

Castiel left no room for his father to argue when he broke down in tears before the warden sent him back to the cell awaiting his trial.


	82. Chapter 82

Soon, Sam and Dean hang out like before the incident and Dean opened up about Crowley, that he's still seeing the man occasionally. When Sam carefully asked him for more information, Dean readily provided the details of their platonic relationship.

"Will I ever meet him?" he asked and Dean shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Sammy, but don't worry, he's a great guy and can be trusted."

"Well, that's really good to know." Sam replied genuinely and added,"I was wondering if you would like to go to Noho with me on this long weekend? I was offered to assist in directing an indie film and the producer wanted to meet me first. It's a short documentary actually...and I thought it would be nice to have you close for emotional support. I really need it...I'm kinda nervous, Dean." 

Dean smiled and said,"Of course, Sammy. The school's closed for a week anyway. Maybe we could spend the whole week in Hollywood instead? My treat?" 

Sam grinned and nodded happily at his offer. He had his dearest friend back at last. Sam was offered the six months project and they both celebrate his first gig modestly in tinsel town. Ellen, Mary and Bobby were happy for the both of them. They deserved this break after all that had happened and it was during their last day, Dean took them to Spago for dinner. Sam was so happy that he can't stop thanking Dean for his generosity. Dean thanked him in return for not giving up on their friendship. It was a tender moment for them and soon they began talking about their future together. 

Sam wanted their friendship to last forever and hoped that Dean would feel the same. Dean recalled Crowley's proposition and repeated the same request to Sam who agreed without hesitation. For Sammy, he truly hoped that these baby steps could turn to something else more profound between them. Casual outings turned to serious dates when he dared asked the blonde one day. Dean who had done a lot of thinking about his future can't deny Sam's part in it. He lets the tall man in much to Crowley's disappointment but didn't share his feelings with Dean yet.

Their relationship's based on trust and respect. Sam knew when to let Dean be while Dean learned to be more open and supportive. Sam felt deeper in love, appreciating his efforts to make things better, together. Ellen asked him one day if they're in love and Sam eventually confided his one sided feelings since her nephew hasn't shown any romantic inclinations yet. She felt sorry for Sammy but advised him to be patient with Dean. "Give him some more time, Sammy. He will see what a gem you truly are sweetheart." she assured and Sam thanked her for her kindness and support. At times she wondered if Dean's still waiting for Cas' return but since he never speak of the man again, she thought that he's finally over him. Zachariah has not visited them for months either and Mary wasn't forthcoming about her lover's whereabouts. 

It seemed like all the Novaks had totally disappeared from the face of the earth. 

Castiel went to his first few hearings but without much evidence, his case was dismissed again and again by the local judge. The lawyer that represented him went back to States and Zachariah had tried to hire others but none will help because if this reason alone. He wanted to go to Bella and beg her to testify but was strongly advised against doing so by the police who feared for his safety. The distraught father was sad and enraged that he finally went back to New York to demand a divorce from Naomi. The woman let him have it since there was nothing else to lose, knowing that her son will rot in prison forever because of her pure selfishness. Her remorse went unheard by her husband who sold their townhouse and split the money in halves. He left New York for Los Angeles the day their divorce was finalized.

Mary moved in with him in Beverly Hills where he bought a home for them both. Zachariah promised to marry her once Cas' free from jurisdiction. 

"So Dean, are you seriously dating Sammy now?" asked Crowley when they met at the same bar. Thankfully, Sam didn't ask to come along and Dean could be free to talk to his dear friend. 

Dean nodded quietly and sipped his whiskey. "Well, that's uh...that's unexpected. I mean....did you used my idea on him? Can't find your own excuses, perhaps?" asked Crowley with slight bitterness. 

"If yes, why, Crowley? You should be grateful that I didn't end up with you instead. Trust me you wouldn't want that." stated Dean dryly, mad at his sarcastic remarks.

"And how would you know how I feel, Dean? How would you guess that's not what I want?" challenged Crowley but Dean snorted.

"Look. I spared you, that's all you should know, so just thank me, Scotsman. As for Sam, he's in love with me, unlike you, he'll be good for me." confessed Dean and Crowley laughed, shaking his head.

"Now how do you know that I'm not in love with you, huh? You think you knew so much about me, don't you?" Crowley taunted but Dean responded quietly,"I'm not stupid, Crowley. You don't love me. Your life is mundane and you're looking for a reason to move forward without dreading about the future. Money can buy you stuff but not love right, isn't it? You can't buy mine since I'm not selling it to anyone because I have no more feelings left in my heart. But I want us to still be friends but if you keep hoping for something to happen between us, I'm afraid I have to let our friendship go."

Crowley sighed and looked at him. After a long silence, he admitted that he wasn't in love and Dean's right. "I'm actually not capable of loving, only caring..if that makes any sense at all." he said almost to himself. He can't love anyone after his beloved suicide years ago when their religious parents found out about their affair.

Dean smiled and said. "I hate to lose your friendship, Crowley. Pray that I may be able to love Sam like I used to love someone else before." 

"Who's this stupid knight in not so shining armor that you held in such high pedestal, Dean? I want a name, please? The least you can do after "breaking" up with me." scolds Crowley, impatiently. 

Dean laughed and said,"His name is Castiel Novak and he'd left me for the highest pedestal in heaven."

 

 

 

 


	83. Chapter 83

Ellen watched her nephew getting ready for Sam to take him out to celebrate his 23rd birthday in town. They've been dating for six months and never looked happier. Ellen shared their joy though she wondered if their affair would end in happiness or sadness since Dean hasn't expressed his feelings for Sam who's falling deeper every day. As far as she's concern, the pair seemed to head for a heartbreak. She hated for anyone of them to suffer, even Castiel. What if he returns only to find out that his beloved Dean's now with Sam? What will happen between all of them then? 

"Dean?" she called out gently, smiling at her nephew who looked so gorgeous in his fitting white shirt and dark blue designer jeans. 

"Yes, aunt?" he asked, while folding his sleeve up to his elbow.

"I am glad that you're going out on dates with Sammy. You both looked good and happy together. I was thinking......" she hesitated but Dean calmly motioned for her to go on. 

"That perhaps you're giving love another try, Dean?" she asked carefully. Dean sighed and sat next to her on the booth. 

"Do you think so too aunt? Cause I've been thinking about that every single day. But do you think it's fair for Sammy if I can't love him like I did Cas?" he confided sadly. Ellen grabbed his hand in hers and replied gently. 

"Cas was your first love and so it's not easy for you to just forget him, Dean. But at the same time you're slowly building something just as beautiful with Sammy now and anyone can see that. Maybe you could give romance another chance but only act upon it if you're sure and ready. Sam will understand as I can see his willingness to wait for you. You're lucky to have each other, Dean.." 

"I know, he's such a blessing in my life, aunt. He'd loved me for so long and never asked for anything more than my company. How can I not let myself fall for him. I will try. Actually tonight, I want to talk about it with him. Wish us luck, we need it.." Dean said with a soft laugh.

"You'll have that and more..I'm sure of it. I can't wait to hear all about it tomorrow. I love you Dean and happy birthday sweetheart."

Sam blushed when Dean kissed his cheek upon receiving the expensive watch he bought with his entire check from his directorial job. It's such a huge sacrifice he made for the man he loved so much. Dean was gratified, promised him that he will wear it always. Sam was ready to call the waiter when Dean held his hand and told him to wait.

Sam's heart beats a mile a minute when Dean asked if they could kiss. He was rendered speechless, thinking that his mind's tricking him but when Dean gave a reassuring smile, Sam can't help himself any longer. He held Dean's sweet face in his hands and then stopped just before he reached those pretty bowed lips. "Do you really want me to, Dean?" he whispered softly and Dean nods, smiling encouragingly at him. "If only you wanted to, Sammy." 

"Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for this moment forever, Dean..forever..Oh God...! I'm not dreaming am I? Pinch me..please.." he begged with eyes welled with happy tears that Dean laughed and tweaked his nose lightly. 

"You're not dreaming. I am asking to be kissed, Sammy. Don't make me wait...please.." Dean's turned to beg and Sam hesitated no more. He kissed Dean chastely at first and then pulled away, waiting for the impending doom that Dean would change his mind.

Dean looked at him questioningly and then asked, "Why'd you stopped, Sammy?"

"I dunno. I can't believe that we're doing this. That this is real? This is real right, Dean? You're not playing with me?" he whispered anxiously that Dean shook his head before kissing him. Sam's enthralled, moving their lips sensuously together, couldn't care, wouldn't care if anyone staring at them that moment because all that matters was Dean's letting him in. He held the back of Dean's head and pulled him in gently. The blond's soft moans spurred him on that he tilted his head to deepen their kiss. Dean's mouth warm and inviting that Sam felt that he could die from this wonderful sensation alone.

"I love you.." he gasped the moment they let go each other for air. Dean's silence didn't perturbed him the slightest when he repeated the words he's been wanting to say forever.

"I love you Dean.." he professed and then kissed Dean again. The blonde couldn't resist when Sam plundered deeper into his mouth. Sammy's urgency made him feel so good yet so guilty at the same time but he decided to throw caution out the window and let himself drowned in passion he's been so deprived of for so long. They had to stop finally when the waiter playfully cleared his throat as a signal for them to order their food since the kitchen's closing soon. They didn't realized that they've been kissing each other for the past hour, oblivious to their surroundings. 

When their food came, they ate it in a hurry and then Sam drove them fast to Dean's boat. They continued kissing each other passionately with their clothes on until Sam forced himself to stop and gazed down into Dean's dilated eyes.

"Do you wanna do this, Dean? Because I can stop now if you want me to.." he whispered softly against Dean's slightly opened mouth. Dean didn't know what he actually felt at the moment. Was it love, or was it only lust? It doesn't matter because all he wanted right then was Sam to keep pleasuring him till he can't think of anything else anymore. It's a welcome distraction as he surrendered himself wholly to the man above him. 

"...yes....I want you....Sammy....I need you.."

 

 

 

 


	84. Chapter 84

Sam tried to hide his disappointment when Dean refused to be held after their passionate sex. The blonde apologized, pushing him away subtly, saying that he's getting too tired from the wine he drank earlier. Sam didn't believe him, so he pulled Dean gently and asked if he's feeling okay. Dean gave him a quick assurance and then turned his body quickly away to sleep, leaving Sam feeling disgusted with himself.

"Tell me what's wrong Dean, I need to know..please?." he coaxed, pulling Dean again but the blonde refused to turn this time.

"I'm so sorry..." he mumbled softly but Sam wasn't satisfied. His muddled brain wanted an answer. His voice more insistent this time.

"Please.. don't do this, Dean. I need to know what's wrong. Don't hide from me." he pleaded and held Dean's face in his hand, looking at him for a response. Dean tried to look away and Sam saw the tears in his eyes.

"Hey...hey...Dean..tell me baby..what's wrong? Please..?" he persisted urgently and that Dean began to cry. "I don't know why I did it Sammy...I really don't..I'm so sorry..." Sam can't believe what he just heard that he immediately asked if Dean regretted their action. Dean looked away, his heart stammered wildly like trapped animal in his chest. Sam's stare unnerved him.  

Sam continued pulling him and asked him if it's about Cas or about the rape? He tried to apologize and talk it out if that's the case but Dean still refused to reply and kept avoiding his gaze. His mind whirled thinking what's happening that Dean can't even look him in the eye now when that wasn't the case when Sam entered him over and over again earlier? Did the sudden realization that their fucking repulsed him so much that he has to treat him like a useless piece of garbage now? Why did Dean agreed to do it in the first place? Spurring him on with lustful words and moans they both knew he can't possibly resist?

Sam stopped trying to get his attention and swung his long legs furiously over the bed, thinking what the hell really happened between them. He wrung his shaky hands nervously together, can't trust himself with what he would do. The need to punch the wall next to him hard to let out his frustrations was pressing indeed but he managed to slowly calmed himself.

"Sammy, I said I don't know and I'm sorry. Leave if you want..." cried Dean softly. Sam put on his boxers and then turned his body towards him. He wanted to leave but knew that it won't make him feel any better. So he gave Dean a piece of his mind until he hear the truth.

"You expect me to believe that bullshit? You, who asked me to kiss you in the restaurant and then said Yes to this. Don't fuckin tell me you don't know what you're doing after what we just did, Dean! I deserved to know and I deserved the truth. Please don't mess with my heart and my head when you already know how much I love you." Sam stressed impatiently, trying to control the pain he felt inside but failed miserably. Angry tears filled his eyes without him wanting to. He didn't want Dean to see him sad, he wanted Dean to know that he's angry and he won't rest until he got an answer.

"Tell me!" 

 "No...I don't know what to tell you except that I am so sorry Sammy. We shouldn't have...." Dean persisted between his sobs. Sam bit his tongue, trying to hold back his words of contempt and shook his head. He dressed up hastily and took one last look at the blond who quickly looked away.

"Fuck you." he spat nevertheless before storming out of the cabin.

 

 

 


	85. Chapter 85

Ellen was about to tease Sam who's home early from his date with Dean, when the young man scowled at her. She asked him what's the matter but he told her it was nothing and that he was tired. She can't help wondering what happened since they looked all happy leaving the boat that afternoon. She made a point to wake up early the next day and asked her nephew instead. 

It's almost morning but Dean can't sleep a wink, his head and heart hurt so much from thinking about what he just did to Sam and the hatred he received as a result. How can he tell the man the truth that he's a such a perfect and wonderful lover, that he felt that he could have a relationship with him after all and then suddenly the unwanted fear sets in and all he wanted was to be left alone.

Shame and repulse he felt weren't meant for Sammy, they're merely detrimental thoughts about himself. He didn't deserved to be loved let alone treated wonderfully like that. It was so wrong in so many different ways to pull Sam into his sick web. He's broken and crazy, lustful one moment and self loathing the next. How could he have a relationship with anyone especially beautiful and kind Sammy. Dean knew the best thing for him was to commit himself in an asylum or simply ends his life.

Now that they all hated him, Cas, Crowley and Sam, there was no reason to not go through those plans. He laughed and then cried thinking how else could he managed to mess up his half life? He was exhausted but he can't sleep, so he dragged himself out of bed finally and took the sleeping pills hidden in Bobby's bathroom. He didn't mean to kill himself yet but because he was so delirious, the amount he swallowed was considerably large that he fell unconscious almost immediately.  

Cas had a visitor and it was his mentor from the orphanage. The priest expressed his heartfelt sympathy over his fate and promised to do something about it. The older man decided to go to Bella and get a confession from her. Cas thanked the man profusely and then right after he left, two men came to speak to him. They were Italians attorneys who spoke fluent English and they're there to help him out of his mess. Cas asked who sent them but they're unable to give out more information about his so called savior from the States. So Cas asked again how much does he have to pay in case he won or acquitted from the trial? They laughed and said that he will find out once he's back in Los Angeles. His thought ran wild. No one here knew he's been there since he told them that he's from New York. 

His father just called him that morning telling him to stay strong while he try to get help in the Big Apple. So who was this person? Could it be his Dean? Maybe he found out the rut he's in but that wasn't possible since he specifically warned his father to not divulge his situation to anyone. Cas didn't want to burden anybody, to have his father running around like a madman looking for help made him feel like shit. He can't wait for this nightmare to be over and thanked the men for their help and to extend the same to whoever that person was who thought that he's worth their time and money.

Trial hearing was set in another month until then Cas has to remain patient. He received a call from his father and told him about the good news. Zachariah was skeptic but he knew he has to accept all the help they can get, even from dubious characters back home. He has enemies too but not one who would readily help in a situation like this and remained anonymous.

 

 

 

 


	86. Chapter 86

Early next morning Bobby offered Ellen a ride since he wanted to check on his boat too. Sam left the house at the same time but he only gave them a quick nod and left. Bobby turned to look at Ellen and she shrugged.

"Is it Dean?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know, Bobby. Maybe." she replied tiredly. 

"Thought they're doing okay. Did they just went on a date last night?" he asked again and Ellen sighed.

"They did but Sam came home early and I teased him about it. He seemed mad though I don't understand because they were so excited about it before I left the boat." she said sadly.

"I see. I'll drive like lightning cause I know you're worried. Put on ya safety belt Missy." he joked and Ellen smiled at his effort.

Sam's exhausted since he didn't sleep the whole night thinking of Dean no matter how much he tried not to. His mind kept wondering about what happened between them last night. As far as he was concern, every move he made was reciprocated willingly by the blonde..until the second it was over. Their lovemaking was a little frantic yet sweet and that's why it hurt his heart thinking that perhaps its just a lie. Did Dean imagined that he was Cas? The thought made him sick that he pulled his car to the side of the road and threw up. 

Bobby and Ellen arrived less than thirty minutes since there's no traffic. The owner has to use his keys when Dean failed to open the door when they knocked repeatedly. The sight of Dean lying unconscious on the floor had Ellen screaming for Bobby who then rushed over, checked his pulse and picked him up without hesitation. 

"What's wrong with him, Bobby?!!!" cried Ellen in a panic as Bobby ran towards his car.

"Think he overdosed! Hope it's not too late! Keep his head up, El!!" shouted Bobby as he drove like mad towards the hospital.

Sam's superior told him to go home and rest even though he insisted that he was okay. Work's a welcome distraction he truly needed as he walked dejectedly back to his car. He didn't know where else to go since home's not an option cause his mom will get on his case in a second when she saw him like this.

"Fuck!" he berated for showing up at work with a paled face! There's no bar opened at this hour, only a few cafes that served breakfast near Bobby's boat. His thoughts when straight to Dean again and he groaned out loud. He's not satisfied with the way things turned out between them. He missed Dean and after last night, he didn't think he could pretend that nothing had happened. Be damn how the blond would act upon seeing him later, Sam couldn't care anymore. He wanted an answer, any answer or he won't be at peace with himself. It's driving him crazy, not knowing what he'd done wrong.

But his hope plummeted when he suspected that Dean's not in since the phone was ringing relentlessly inside.  His immediate assumption was the blond must've left last night to have some fun. Probably with other men, he thought bitterly. Sam hastily pushed the horrible notions aside and tried the door knob for the heck of it. It yielded and he rushed to answer the phone before it died. 

"Dean, my love! You're finally awake sweetheart.I missed you. Let's meet."

Sam's mind burned with anger that he demanded rudely. "Who the hell is this?!"

"Oh..." replied Crowley with a slight hesitation. There's no sense getting riled up over some stranger so he added with forced calm. "Let me guess. You're either Bobby or Sam. So may I know where is Dean? I need to speak to him. It's important." He has an inkling that it was Sam on the other line but he can't give a shit. He wanted to tell Dean that he found Castiel and Sam didn't need to know.

"I'm Sam, so who the fuck are you?!! Just tell me your name and how did you know Dean?!!" Sam growled but Crowley ended the call. There's no point talking to Sam who's obviously ignorant about Dean's whereabouts. Sam cursed when the line went dead and slammed the receiver on its cradle. He stormed out of the boat towards his car, mind busy recalling anyone they both knew who had the accent of the caller. The stranger's not an American and seemed like he knew Dean so well to speak familiarly like that! Dean's kept him a secret and Sam wondered if he's his lover. Jealousy coursed through his veins that he had to stopped driving and took a much needed breath thinking what kind of mess did they both got themselves into.  

Bobby and Ellen waited with baited breaths outside the emergency room. They were informed that there was some complications during treatment and one of them was due to Dean's stomach ulcer. Ellen had cried in Bobby's arms, berating herself for her failure in protecting her nephew. Bobby kept reassuring her profusely that it wasn't her fault. He silently wished that he could do something for the poor kid. He too can't watch the young man wasting his life away.

Dean has lots of potential and his aunt loved him so dearly. They suspected that Dean tried to kill himself again and so naturally their thoughts went to Sam. What had the tall kid done to make Dean do that? Anger flared in Bobby's heart and mind. He immediately excused himself to Ellen but didn't tell her what he's up to and asked for the nurses help to watch over the distraught woman.

Bobby drove around town searching for Sam to demand an answer for Dean's action. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	87. Chapter 87

Bella listened quietly to the intense conversation from her shut bedroom. The old priest was pleading her husband to let her confess about her assault. Reinforced that only she knew the truth what happened that night and if she could help clear Castiel's name, that his fate lies in her hands or the poor man will forever imprisoned for injustice done to him.

Antonio was enraged and wanted so much to hit the holy man right on his face but he couldn't. The nerve of him to come down and tell him that Castiel's innocent! That's what they all do anyway, protecting their kind who hid behind their cloaks while ravishing other's wives, Antonio thought with disgust, easily dismissing his own misconduct.

Bella wanted to save Castiel but how could she when her own life was threatened by her attackers if she exposed them. There was no hope in convincing her raging husband either, who wouldn't and couldn't listen to reason. She has been held captive in their bedroom since discharged from the hospital and was denied any visitors even their neighbors.

Antonio had gone too far this time. It wasn't because of his sense of protection towards her but his bruised ego, thinking that everyone now thought that he was a cuckold for letting his young and slutty wife free to be fucked by any men.

She broke into tears, crying at her helplessness when she heard her husband chased the poor priest rudely out of their house. 

Castiel was reading the bible when the priest came bearing the bad news. He thanked his mentor for his help and faith in him. "It's alright, Father. I will never hold a grudge against Bella because I somehow sensed her fear and Antonio can't hurt me if God Himself won't allow it. I..uh..I got some help..from someone from the States." he confessed and the sad priest asked him anxiously who it was.

"I wish I knew, Father...but I've already asked my dad to find out. I've got the feeling that he's someone powerful and that he could help me with my predicament. But I...still need your prayers too, Father, if it's okay?" asked Castiel and the priest held both his hands, assuring gently that he never stopped asking for his deliverance. They were both in tears at his confession.

Bobby left Sam's workplace after being told that he was on sick leave. His assumptions about Sam's guilt was correct then, he thought bitterly. He kept driving till he spotted the tall young man in the coffee house by the beach. He parked the car right in front of the restaurant and marched towards the unsuspecting man.

"What the hell you've done to Dean, Sammy?!" he growled lowly, though his stance and question already attracted others attention.

Sam gaped at him speechless, can't find words to say when all left him. Was their physical intimacy a sin in Bobby's eyes? he thought ridiculously to himself and finally asked the man exactly that.

He wasn't prepared with Bobby's reaction when the older man's face turned beet red in anger."DID YOU FORCE HIM, SAMMY?!!" Bobby growled louder that the manager rushed towards them.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY, BOBBY?!!" Sam shouted as he stood up, towering over Bobby who ignored the manager's plea for them to take their personal problems outside because the other patrons were getting uncomfortable.

"DON'T PLAY DUMB SAMMY!! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! WHY ELSE DID DEAN TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF AGAIN THEN HUH??!! WHY?!!" yelled the usually quiet man. Sam was rendered speechless for a second till he shook Bobby's shoulder and demanded where's Dean at now. He feared Dean's in the hospital by the way Bobby acted.

"TELL ME WHERE IS HE NOW OLD MAN!!" he demanded and Bobby only stared at him in shock. 

Sam growled, "Take me there Now." He pulled the older man's hand and ran towards his car outside. 


	88. Chapter 88

Zachariah was mystified. He failed to find the person who's helping his son. All he learned from the Italian authorities was that Cas' case looked promising since the appearance of the two lawyers and the chance for his release was high too. The senior Novak wanted to thank his son's savior but he didn't know how else to locate him.

He also wanted to share this good news to Dean but Cas told him to wait till he's free from all the charges. Zachariah wished he could tell Dean's predicament too but to worry Cas while he's still awaiting his fate overseas didn't seem right too. So they both had to keep each other's secret for now.

Castiel was visited by one of the lawyers who told him that the first hearing date was set in a month but he don't need to fear because they're thinking of a much better way to deal with his matter and when Cas asked them what it was, the man only smiled and walked away.

He wondered who're these people he's working with? They're so mysterious yet confident that he's going to be okay. Was this a trap set by Antonio himself to get him out so he could be killed? Cas prayed that that's not the case and whoever's helping him genuinely cared for his welfare, or so help him God!

After the next few hours, the three received good news that Dean will be okay. Ellen cried harder in Bobby's arm while Sam pleaded the doctor to see the blonde but he was not approved yet. Ellen went in to see Dean and when the doctor finally relented, Sam rushed inside without waiting for her to leave first.

"Dean.." he uttered softly as he approached Dean's bed.

"Sammy....I'm so sorry.." Dean began to cry but Sam quickly pulled a chair and sat close to him. He held Dean's hand gently and said that it's okay, that Dean's going to be okay.

"I didn't mean to kill myself...I swear. I didn't know what happened..why I swallowed so many pills, Sammy..aunt.." Dean confessed and Ellen bent forward to kiss his forehead.

"I know sweetheart..I believed you...we believed you.." she said in tears and Sammy agreed with her. "I know you won't harm yourself again, Dean and I'm sorry too for the way I acted. Please forgive me?" he asked with genuine hope and Dean nodded.

"Forgive me too for being careless, Sammy..aunt...I promise I will be more careful next time..." vowed Dean and they both replied in unison that there's nothing to forgive because it was an honest accident.

"Thank you..." Dean responded with a soft smile and added, "I wanna go home..can you please tell the doctor for me..?" 

Sam looked at Ellen who nodded and then got up. "Sure sweetie, I will try to talk to your doctor now." she kissed his cheek and left.

"Sam...please take me home?" he asked with tears running down the side of his face as he looked at his dearest friend cum lover. He wanted to do right by Sammy who's easy to love if he tried. Castiel seemed like a distant memory to him now since the man chose to disappear without a trace. Cas didn't want him but Sam needed him. It's good to feel needed..love will present itself naturally, Dean thought sadly to himself.

"Of course, Dean but is it okay if I stay at the boat with you for awhile to keep you company? Not...not like that..I mean..just..uh.." Sam started but Dean gave him a wan smile.

"I know what you mean...and yes...I'd like you to be with me Sam..." let me do right by you who'd loved me for so long, he almost added.

Sam gave a genuine smile and hugged Dean gently in bed. "I'm so glad that you're okay Dean or I will never forgive myself.."

Dean smiled on his shoulder and said softly,"Hey...it's not your fault. I was stupid taking those pills without thinking. We're gonna start over and...we're gonna be okay. Help me be okay, Sammy.." 

Sam pulled away and held Dean's face gently in his hands. "We will Dean and you're gonna be okay. Thank you for giving us another chance...I'm gonna make you very happy Dean...I promise.."

Dean shut his eyes and turned his head to kiss the palm of Sam's hand. "I will make us happy too Sammy.." he whispered.

 

 

 


	89. Chapter 89

So the weeks went by and slowly the relationship between Dean and Sam improved when their promises to be happy were fulfilled. Dean respected Sam who patiently gave him the space he needed. The taller man was much more caring but yet very entertaining and eventually Dean's demeanor changed because of him.

He's almost like the old Dean Sam knew and as the day went by, their attraction to each other got much stronger even though they still abstained themselves from any deep physical intimacy. Sam wanted to wait till Dean's really ready and the blonde appreciated his thoughtfulness.

Ellen can't help but brought up Cas' one day and Dean told her that he'd stopped pining for his ex lover. She asked if Dean still loved the man but her nephew can't give an answer. "It's unfinished business between us, aunt but someone has to end it...and it has to be me. I need closure and Sam....his love for me could help."

"But do you love Sammy, Dean?" she asked worriedly, praying that Dean's not resorting to anything out of obligations.

"I am learning how and I loved that he cared so much about me, about us. Sam's perfect and I must be blind if I don't let myself see that. He chose to love me is an honor and I know I can love him just as much too one day. Please give us your support and blessing.." pleaded Dean with so much hope that Ellen finally gave it to him. Dean's happiness and security were all that matters to her. Sam's good for him and she prayed that they would last forever. As for Castiel, she prayed that if the man ever comes home, he would understand what happened between the three of them.

Crowley placed the receiver on the cradle gently. He's not happy but he's not about to slam the phone down either because of the subtle rejection by Dean, the boy he hoped he could have a decent relationship with. It seemed that the blonde decided to hook up with Sammy, his best friend after all.

The love that the two kids found in each other seemed like a farce not to mention forced. Did Dean forced himself to be with Sam to avoid him?  It left a bitter taste in Crowley's mouth thinking that Dean would've thought that Sam's a better suitor. He dismissed dear old Crowley who's older, mature and richer easily. The one who could give him anything he wanted including his own sanity. Yes, his sanity because Dean's not fooling anyone...he's not in love with Sammy.

It's easy to see he's still pining for Castiel to come home. Crowley can't wait for Cas' surprise return. He can't wait to see the drama unfold..the so called love triangle Dean created for himself. He knew the blonde will have to choose between the two men but he won't in the end because Dean's kind like that. He's not heartless and guessed who he would turn to, to avoid this confusion? Him, Crowley of course. The Scotsman thought to himself, pleased that even though he's a third choice, he knew he would win this game. He lost years ago...not this time. He's gonna make things right. Dean will be his companion.

The day that he's been waiting for came and Cas went to the foreign court with so much hope of freedom in his head and in his heart. He prayed that it will be the first and last hearing, that the lawyers managed to clear his name but when the judge dismissed the case till the next hearing, he almost break down and cried. The lawyers whispered quietly to each other that he was getting frustrated. He demanded to know what they're discussing about but none of them would reveal anything to him. He pulled the collar of one of them outside the hallway and reiterated his request sternly. The man smiled at him as he pried his hands away.

"Be patient, Novak. You will be free soon enough. That was just a show that we put on, trust me." 


	90. Chapter 90

Antonio's drunk. He just had a bar brawl with another drunk who spewed nasty words about his wife. It seemed that he can never catch a break for everywhere he went, there's always an idiot who reminded him of his misfortune.

If he only he could kill Bella with his own hands and end all this debacle that surrounded him. He's no longer the revered man in his town because of her and in his drunken state, he had unknowingly disclosed his intention out loud. It got the attention of this well dressed stranger next to him. His white fedora hat covered half of his handsome face.

The man confessed that he would gladly do the 'work' for him but Antonio only laughed hysterically, calling the man crazy, out of his mind but the stranger wasn't perturbed. "My offer's genuine. Think about it. See if you change your mind. I shall be waiting outside."

Antonio raised an eyebrow and giggled into his wine glass after the man left. His mind's too hazy to think straight that when another drunk made sleazy remarks about his poor wife, he finally got up from his stool, pushed the inebriated man away and stumbled out of the salon to chase the stranger.

"YOU!! HEY YOU!!!" he called out to the stranger who turned and pulled him towards the dark empty alley.

"You accept my offer?" asked the man dangerously low.

Antonio hiccuped and then burped loudly at his face. The stranger kept a straight face despite the horrid smell, since he has to do the job that paid him so well that he can't fail.

"How muchhh... moneyyy.... you... wannnt?' slurred Antonio, trying to regain his composure but with half closed eyes.

"We'll talk about that later. Just remind me what you said you wanted to do with her?" the man asked. Antonio's eyes went wide for a bit trying to stay focus as he berated the stranger.

"Are you an idiot? I already said I wanna kill my wife! I wanna kill that bitch!" he said aloud in disbelief and the stranger asked for her name.

"Are you a fucking deaf?! BELLA!! THE SLUT SHOULD HAVE DIED IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! Motherfucker!" cursed Antonio and then added. "I WANT YOU TO KILL HER MAKE SURE SHE'S DEAD THIS TIME!!" The stranger gave a wide grin and left. Antonio heard the faint clicking sound before the stranger walked away. 

Dean watched Sammy steered the boat into the middle of the ocean quietly. They wanted to watch the sunset and it was a perfect setting since there wasn't any other boats around. Just theirs. 

He walked slowly towards the tall man and hugged him from behind. Sam smiled and asked gently,"Hey...it's almost setting. Do you wanna take pictures, Dean?".

"No...I wanna remember this moment with you, Sammy. I want us to have sweet memories together..." Dean whispered. He almost believed himself upon uttering the words that came out so naturally. Words that he used to say to Castiel ages ago. It's like Deja Vu but with a different man. He hurriedly brushed the thought away and hugged Sam tighter. Sam stopped steering and turned to face him.

"Do you really want that?" Sam asked, unsure. They had intimate moments, conversations but this sounded like a commitment to him.

"Yes..do you?" asked Dean in return, staring into Sam's kind eyes. Yes, he could love Sammy.

"Very much, Dean..." Sam confessed and Dean asked,"Shall we kiss?"

The reverent kiss lasted long enough till they missed the beautiful setting sun behind them. 

 


	91. Chapter 91

An excited Mary gasped after hearing the young couple announcing their love relationship. Ellen and Bobby congratulated them while Zachariah only managed a small smile. Castiel will be devastated and there's nothing he can do to protect his beloved son from being hurt. There's still no news yet from Italy and he wondered if Cas' savior changed his mind about helping him. It made the senior Novak so sad that he excused himself from the happy party.

He locked himself in the bedroom to call his son while the rest celebrated Sam and Dean's new journey as a serious dating couple. Cas detected the sorrow in his father's voice but the old man refused to divulge anything that he let it go. He didn't have any good news to share either and so they talked about other small things that happened in Cas daily life in the police station. That's when he heard the old priest, his mentor and his lawyers talking excitedly as they approached his room. 

"Castiel!" the usually composed priest called out from the opposite side of the window glass. 

"Yes father??" asked Cas curiously as the lawyers requested the warden to open his door. 

"You're free to go my son!!" announced the priest, can't control his happy emotions anymore as he pulled a shocked Cas in his arms.

Cas pulled away gently and asked him what he meant by that. That's when the lawyers explained that someone had mailed a tape about Antonio's confession to kill his wife to his mentor. The old priest had sought the lawyers advice and with the investigators help, they arrested Antonio that morning. Cas can't believe his ears that he made the men repeat what's being said. He then broke down in tears that the priest immediately comforted him with kind and encouraging words.

"Can you find out who sent the tape, please? I want to thank him." asked Cas to the lawyers. They ignored him until the priest left. 

"That's not necessary, Signore. We told you we'll take care of it, si?" said one of them with a smile and walked away.

Cas wanted to feel good about it but he can't. Antonio's being framed and that's for sure but what can he do. He badly wanted to go leave that place and go home to Dean. He dropped to his knees on the hard cement floor and brought both his hands in supplication, ignoring the pain. Overcame with guilt, he silently prayed to the Almighty to forgive his sin for his decision in not revealing Antonio's wrongful accusation to the authorities. He ended with tears in his eyes but steel in his heart, determined to leave all this nightmare behind.

Zachariah received the news soon after the first call was ended abruptly. He wanted to jump with joy but remembered the current situation in the cottage. He told Cas that he will send first class air ticket for his son to come back to New York. When Cas insisted that he wanted to fly to Los Angeles, his father lied that his mother was sick and she needed to see him first. Cas, the ever good son, adhered and was released from the station, the same day Antonio was locked behind bars, awaiting his trial.

On the way to New York, Cas can't sleep, eat or think of anything but Dean despite the awesome services rendered to him in the cabin. He can't wait to get home and attend to his mother while calling Dean on the phone. He truly can't wait to hear Dean's voice, he missed his lover so much that his heart's breaking into pieces just thinking about him. He wondered if Dean will ever forgive him for his disappearance. Cas entertained himself, imagining the scenario where Dean would and welcome him with so much love in his waiting arms. Cas made a vow to himself to leave the Church and begin a love relationship with Dean. 

He's willing to be condemn eternally in the eyes of God and it's all for Dean.

 

 

 


	92. Chapter 92

Sam wanted to pinch himself hard from this current bliss he's in. First, Dean had asked to be kissed and now he's asking Sam to move in with him, live together in Bobby's boat until they find their own place to stay. He was just about to leave after a passionate make out session in bed earlier with the blonde when this happened. 

"Dean...I wanted it more than anything...and you know it...but...are..are you really sure?" Sam stuttered, his face looked worried even when his heart leaped with joy. He really wanted to pinch himself when Dean smiled and muttered a soft yes, Sammy, I am surest.

The taller man pulled back, let out a shaky breathe and smiled nervously. He almost screamed with joy but quickly cupped his mouth and then looked at Dean with tears in his eyes.

Concerned, Dean got up and held him tight. "Sammy..." he whispered soothingly on the crying man's shoulder.

Sam wiped his tears and then turned to hold Dean's face in his hands. They both laughed softly together at the same time, feeling a little ridiculous but at the same time deliriously happy.

"I love you Dean.." Sam uttered and then gently pressed Dean's lip with his thumb when he's about to say something because he knew Dean's not ready to reciprocate those words yet. 

"No..you don't have to say it, Dean. I shall wait patiently for that wonderful day to come. All I want is for you to be happy and I hope that I can make you happy forever.." promised Sam and Dean leaned in to kiss his lips.

"I hope I can make you happy too, Sammy...you've been so good and kind to me..all my life..even when he's around." Dean expressed earnestly, for some reason he can't bring himself to mention Cas' name, out of respect for this new relationship perhaps? he guessed. 

But Sam noticed and said,"You can say his name in front of me, Dean..but if you choose not to..then it's up to you too." said Sam.

Dean looked up at him and replied,"Kiss me again, Sammy.."

Castiel practically ran into his family townhouse the second the cab stopped. He rushed to the third floor of his mother's bedroom and saw her lying in bed with crumpled tissues all over the blanket.

"Mother...what happened to you?" he asked worriedly upon settling by her side, holding her cold hand in his.

Naomi cried and he bent down to hug his mother tight, calming her with reassuring words that he's back for good.

He wondered what's wrong with her and demanded the maid to fill in the details. The old woman seemed nervous and distress trying to explain it to him in broken English. 

Cas was told that Naomi had suffered a relapse when she found out that he's in jail in Naples and refused to be seen by the doctor till she saw her son. Him. Castiel.

Cas asked her what's his mother's illness but the poor help got flustered suddenly and then break down crying. Cas was flabbergasted but he quickly grabbed the phone by the bed and called their family physician.

Naomi stopped him and begged. "No need, sweetheart...you're my antidote..I don't need anything else or the doctor cause you're home and safe. I'm so happy my love! Please forgive me for sending you away!!" Naomi howled in anguish that Cas hugged her tighter again. Calling Dean was momentarily forgotten when his mother seemed to need him more than ever.

Naomi wanted to feel bad but she can't. Her husband had called her the day before telling her that their son was free and heading home to her. Zachariah had wanted her to play ill so that Cas won't run to Los Angeles and meet Dean who's now in a relationship with Sam. Naomi's stunned by the news but in her mind it was all God's plan. The Almighty truly wanted to protect her son from the wayward blonde and she as his mother must continue doing God's good work. 

 

 

 


	93. Chapter 93

"I don't know what to think, Zach. Are we doing the right thing here? By Cas, Sam or Dean?" asked Mary with voice laced with concern. She hated to see any of their kids hurt, especially Dean.

"I don't know what's right or wrong in love but we can see for ourselves that Sam's the one for Dean. He has always been even when Cas and Dean were together." Zach attested.

Mary's a little stunned by his confession, dismissing his own son Cas' capability in love. "Don't you care about Cas? After what he's been through too? I mean...thank you for thinking highly of Samuel but Dean's Cas' boyfriend first. He should at least know about it. I can't let you separate them again the way Naomi did. It's horrible because I knew the feeling too well, Zach!" lamented the pretty blonde. She needed to know about Ellen's opinion about this too so she immediately gave her friend a call.

Zachariah can only watch silently as his lover talking to Ellen on the phone. He knew Mary's right. Cas needed to know and he should be the one to break the sad news to his son. His heart wrenched just thinking about it. 

"Mary, I'm going to New York after my meeting later. I will tell Cas about Sam and Dean in person. I owe him at least that. And if my son wants to come back here to confront them, I want you to give Sammy a call first, alright?." he requested and Mary hugged him.

"That's the rightest thing for a parent to do, my love." she replied warmly.

Ellen looked at the phone long after she ended the call, thinking what must she do now. Mary told her that Zach thought that it's better for Cas not knowing but they both knew that's not the case. It will be more devastating when he found out later. She got up and looked for Bobby, telling him the news about Cas' return and Zach's plan. Bobby agreed with the women and then tell Ellen to tell Dean.

"The kid needs to know. He waited long enough." Bobby said sadly.

Sammy was offered another freelance director job in Miami from the previous producer. Elated, he wanted his boyfriend to join him again this time but Dean regretfully declined. 

"I wish I could, Sammy since we can be ourselves there and no one would judge us but I have to work. The students needed extra lessons and I can't turn their parents requests down. They really liked my style, it's truly encouraging and I'm inspired to teach their kids more new stuffs. I'm so sorry..." Dean said apologetically and Sam smiled warmly as he shakes his head, saying that it's okay since it was kind of last minute anyway that he has to catch the earliest flight the next day.

"C'mere.." he beckoned Dean softly and the blonde melted in his arms.

"I love you for caring about your students so much...you're such a natural, Dean. Maybe" he stopped abruptly and Dean tilted his head, looking at him with a frown on his face.

"Maybe..?" he asked Sam who's laughing and then kissed his forehead saying that it's nothing.

"No..it's not nothing, Sammy. What is it?" coaxed Dean as he held Sam tighter.

"It's nothing really...I was just building castles in the air..or in this case...in my crazy mind.." laughed Sam softly but Dean won't have any of it. He persuaded till Sam gave up.

"I was thinking... that if we would have...our own one day..?" asked Sam quietly though his heart was banging hard against his chest waiting for Dean's response.

Dean gave a comical grin and then muttered,"In case you haven't notice, I can't actually get pregnant, Sammy." 

His joke was enough to make Sam relaxed a little that he too began to laugh.

He then gave Dean a chaste kiss and said. "You know what I mean but let's not talk about it."

Dean smiled and replied,"But I'd like to talk about it. It's an interesting subject. Maybe in a few years? If you're not tired of me yet?" 

"I can never get tired of you, Dean. Please don't ever say that." said Sam seriously and then as an afterthought, he asked,"Will you? Tired of me?" 

Dean shook his head and said never. They kissed and kissed till they fell into bed and then made love. The phone was ringing outside but they ignored it till it went away. Ellen placed the phone and decided to drive over to the boat. She has to tell Dean about Cas' return. 

 

 

 


	94. Chapter 94

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next in Hope From Afar - Will Dean be shocked? Will Sam challenged Cas in a duel? Will Ellen finally see that Bobby's actually a gentle bear? Will Naomi turned to a priestess instead? 
> 
> So stay tune for the next episode er 0r chapter 95!
> 
> (The meds talking)

Ellen told Bobby that she's visiting her nephew when she failed to reach him on the phone.

"Are you afraid Dean's at it again, Ellen?.." he asked gently but Ellen shook her head.

"No, I know he won't and it's not that. He has a habit of not answering phone calls and I have to tell him about Cas, Bobby. I must." she asserted and Bobby nodded his head in understanding.

"Maybe the boys not in especially on a weekend night like this? Why don't you go over tomorrow morning? I'll send you there." offered Bobby but Ellen looked unsure. Every second keeping this information from Dean felt so wrong to her.

"You're a good woman, Ellen. You always worry about them kids. Let me take those thoughts off your mind for tonight." Bobby offered again, lightly this time.

Ellen stiffened at his words and replied,"Just what do you mean by that, Robert Singer?"

A little taken aback by her response, he immediately rephrased his words. "I mean let me take you to dinner Ellen. There's a nice crab shack in town where everyone's raving about lately. Maybe those things will take your worries away." Since I can't obviously. He almost added.

Ellen let out an impatient sigh and then smiled. "Damn right, Bobby." she joked and Bobby instantly retorted,"Well..you're jumpy too Missy!" They laughed softly despite the sharp exchange and then went off to dinner.

Castiel watched his mother dozed off at last and then walked quietly to his old room on the second floor. He grabbed the phone by his bed the second he entered and called Dean's dorm but a stranger answered. The man told him that there was no Dean Smith staying in that room or the building that he knew of.

Baffled, Cas ended the call and then dialed his family's mansion number but the line was no longer in use and so was the cottage's where Mary lived. Where's Dean and where did everyone else go? Has he been gone that long?" He thought curiously to himself and then began calling his father but his phone too was turned off. 

Not knowing what else to do with himself, he took a long hot bath, the luxury he was deprived off for months in the orphanage. He sat thinking about Dean in the tub. He recalled the last time they met and spoke to each other and the tears fell involuntarily down his face at the memories. It felt like a century had gone with all these uncertainties he encountered.

What's wrong with his mother? Why did she refused to be seen by the doctor? He didn't understand. He didn't mind watching over her but then what about Dean? His other life on the other part of the state? And then suddenly the guilt inside of him resurfaced when he thought about Antonio's plight later. He's not a good person, he's evil for allowing his selfishness to let this injustice happened. He didn't deserved to live any kind of lives at all.

He cried and cried till exhaustion took over and then he fell asleep in the full tub. He thought he was dreaming when he heard his father's loud, anxious voice calling out his name soon after.

"Promise me you'd be good? No Crowley back up when I'm gone Dean?" Sam joked softly and Dean scowled as he punched his arm hard.

"Oww!! That hurts!" Sam yelped. "That was nothing. I should've hurt you more!" attacked Dean instantly but he smiled this time.

Sam rubbed his bruised arm and then kissed Dean chastely on the mouth. The taxi driver was honking impatiently by the roadside, yelling at Sam to hurry the hell up because there might be horrible traffic ahead.

"I'm coming!!" Sam yelled back without turning and then kissed Dean some more. "Take care, Dean. I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too, Sammy and call me okay. Tell me all about South Beach too!" Dean replied enthusiastically.

"Is that all you care about? Huh?" teased Sammy and Dean answered."Of course." Sam's eyes widened and Dean added gently," Just kidding loser..Go or you'll missed your ride." 

Sam held his face and kissed him soundly this time. "I love you, Dean. Remember that okay?" he said and then hugged Dean close. The taxi driver now resorted to obscenities that Sam rolled his eyes in disbelief. Dean just laughed as his lover pulled away and cursed the man back. Sam gave a quick peck on his lips and muttered another I love you before running to his ride. They waved at each other till the cab turned towards the highway. 

Dean was about to close the boat's door when Bobby's car stopped right where Sam's taxi was parked. Out came his aunt but Bobby sped off. Dean walked out to her, clearly surprised by her visit and then remembered the ignored phone calls last night. He immediately berated himself, knowing that he's about to get a lecture from his aunt Ellen.

"Morning. Had a nice rest you two?" she greeted sarcastically but Dean saw the small smile she's trying to hide.

"We did and the other half's gone to Miami. He said sorry for the last minute project and will call both you and Mary as soon as he landed at the airport." explained Dean breezily that it was Ellen's turn to be shocked.

"Well...he'd better!" she warned and then took Dean's hand as they walked towards the boat. Once inside she asked the blonde if he'd showered and Dean said not yet. "Why? Can't we have breakfast with me looking like this?" he teased his aunt while pulling the hem of his worn and torn t shirt.

Ellen smiled and said,"No, I have something to share with you but only after you to take a shower and eat the breakfast that I brought, Dean. And please don't argue with me this time sweetheart."

Dean frowned a little and then asked why she sounded so serious. Ellen sighed tiredly and looked at him without words. He knew that look and without another word he went to take his shower. Ellen laid out the food on the small table calmly but her mind and heart filled with trepidation about the things that she's about to say to Dean. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops! Someone's gonna curse me lol! Please pardon me for I am a little under the weather today


	95. Chapter 95

Zachariah waited patiently for his son to finish drinking the hot chocolate. Cas had almost drowned himself in the tub if he hasn't barged into the bathroom earlier. 

"I'm so sorry to scare you, dad. I was too exhausted and didn't realized I was falling asleep." Cas explained with regret. 

Zachariah smiled and ruffled his son's wet and messy hair. "It's alright, son, I understand. I'm just glad I was there in time. Your mom used to do that before when she's overworked. How are you feeling now?" asked Zachariah.

"I'm okay, dad."Cas replied quietly and Zach urged him gently to talk about his ordeals those months in Naples. Zachariah was deeply affected as he listened but tried his best to remain calm when he saw his son on the verge of tears. He almost wanted to lie about his divorce with Naomi but Cas really wanted to know their family situation since his father not living with his mom anymore. The news broke Cas' heart that the tears fell nevertheless but he understood why it had to happened. "So are you and Mary living together in the cottage now? I tried calling its number but the line was disconnected. Why's that, Dad" asked Cas curiously.

"Ellen's living there now with the previous owner, Bobby. I know you're trying to reach Dean but he's not there, son. Both he and Sam rented Bobby's boat. About Dean..." Zachariah trailed softly and Cas urged him to continue. His father unfold everything that had happened to Dean during his absence that he can't help but broke down and cried sadly in his father's arms. Berating himself for not protecting or being there when Dean needed him the most. But his father gently reminded him of his plight too and that Dean's much better now.

Cas wiped his tears away and told his father that he must fly to Los Angeles to meet Dean. He wanted to be with his lover and asked if his father could watch his mother while he's gone. Zachariah was immediately reluctant for he was afraid that he would learn about Dean's love affair with Sam and so he gave all kinds of excuses to prevent him from leaving New York.

"Why are you discouraging me, father? Please don't keep anything from me. What happened to Dean now, please, I need to know. I have the right to know.." pleaded Cas sadly that Zachariah had no choice but to tell him the truth. The hurt Cas felt this time upon hearing that his lover's now in love with his best friend was unbearable. His father might as well had stabbed him hard through the chest with the sharpest knife because he can't breathe, overcame with profound sadness and regret. He rushed to his room and locked himself from inside. Zachariah got panicked and banged his door hard, demanded his son to open up till he heard his soft cries. He stopped knocking and said softly,"I will be out here, Castiel, if you want to talk. Dad will be here." 

Dean was rendered speechless when his aunt talked about Cas' predicament overseas. His lover who he thought left him without rhyme or reason had never meant to desert him. It was all Naomi's work and Zachariah's hiding these horrifying information about his lover made him both sad and furious. What's he supposed to do now?! When Cas returned hoping that Dean would understand and only to find out that he'd 'moved' on with his life with Sam? How can he tell Sam that he's still in love with Castiel? Especially now that he knew what actually happened?

"Aunt...I don't know what to do...I don't know what to say to Cas..he would think that I betrayed his love but I didn't..I didn't know...and what about Sam? I can't and I won't wanna hurt him...he loved me so much, aunt..." Dean confessed urgently and began pacing the floor, unable to breathe properly. "..oh God..." he whispered nervously into his shaky hands, his chest tightened and his head throbbed all at once, trying to figure out how to deal with his problems. The bile in his throat rise that he dashed towards the bathroom and threw up into the toilet bowl just in time. Ellen rushed after him and offered comfort by rubbing his back till he stopped and said, "Dean, sweetheart. You should eat or you'll be in pain. Here," she handed him his toothbrush filled with paste and added,"brush your teeth, please?."

Dean took it from her, glad that she's there for him because he's unable to do anything by himself. "Thanks..." he muttered weakly and then Ellen left him to prepare his food.

He can't eat a bite and Ellen had to force him. "Dean, no matter how big your problem is you shouldn't hurt yourself physically like this. You promised me, my love.." she reminded sadly and Dean began eating amidst the tears that began falling. Ellen could only watched him helplessly as she can't find the right words to allay the fear in his troubled heart.

It was after a couple of hours later when Cas finally emerged from his bedroom and saw his father sat leaning against the wall next to his door. Zachariah scrambled to get up and meet him, asking if he's okay.

Cas gave him a sad smile and said,"I will be when I see Dean. Please take care of mother for me. I will be back soon, I promise you."

 

 


	96. Chapter 96

Mary called asking for Sam and Dean told her that he had gone to Miami that morning and will be back in two weeks. She was about to call her son next when Dean stopped her from doing so. 

"Mary, I'm sorry. I know you wanted to tell him about Cas but I think it's best that he hears it from me when he gets back. He's very excited about this project and I didn't want him get distracted or worse coming back here in haste." Dean professed truthfully but Mary wanted to know how he felt about Cas' return.

"I'm sorry, Dean..I didn't mean to be nosy but I worry about Sam too. He really love you...so I hope you'll understand." Mary pleaded sadly for her beloved son. Dean shut his eyes, unwilling for another tear to fall because that's all he's been doing. He wished he could run far away till he knows what to do. He told Mary the truth that he still felt for Cas and then they both fell silent for a bit before Mary quietly wished him good luck and informed him that Zachariah told her Cas was already on his way to LA. 

"Dean..?" Ellen called out gently after Dean bade Mary thank you and good bye.   

"..yes, aunt?" he replied without looking at her. 

"What did she said?" she asked and Dean turned to her with green eyes shone with tears. "Oh Dean.." she moaned and reached out to her nephew to hold him tight.

"I don't know what to do...please tell me what to do, aunt.." he cried.

A distraught Castiel tried to stay awake but exhaustion took over fast since he had not a moment of rest after he got home from Naples. Barely half an hour after the plane took off, he fell into a deep sleep and had dreams about Dean leaving him for Sam. He had cried and begged for his lover to stay but Dean left anyway. He missed his meal and the flight attendant had to wake him up when the plane touched the ground of LAX airport. He rubbed his face and thanked the kind lady before leaving the plane. 

It was three in the afternoon when he finally arrived at the canal where Bobby's boat was. His father had provided him the details on how or where to find it. 

Cas was prepared to meet the both of them at once if they're in but if not, he would find a bar to have a drink and wait for them. He didn't have any luggage, just his wallet in his back pocket. After asking a few boaters around, he finally located Bobby's boat and walked slowly towards it. He should be rushing to meet his beloved like he had frequently imagined all this time but the situation they're in now prevented him from doing so and the sadness hit him tenfold. 

Dean was staring out the window of his cabin when he heard the soft knock on the door. Ellen looked at him and then opened the door to Castiel whose eyes instantly met his. Dean watched him nervously from behind, not knowing what to say after all the words he'd rehearsed in his mind.

"Dean..." Cas whispered with a smile he's not feeling because all he wanted to do right then was pull Dean into his arms and beg him not to forsake their love. But seeing Dean, unsure with guilt written all over his face made him stop. His heart stopped momentarily but he forced his feet to move forward, to reach for his beloved, erased the doubts in his mind with his kisses. Cas did just that and after a brief moment of hesitation, Dean found himself reciprocating the passion they shared for so long. 

Ellen left the boat quietly, letting them have their privacy and to sort out their problems. 

"I love you and I missed you so much Dean..so fucking much that I could die if I didn't see you again...I'm so sorry for not being here my love...I'm so so sorry...please forgive me...!" cried Cas the second they let go of their kisses. Dean expressed his regret too for doubting his love that he can't stop his tears at this rate and had given up on brushing them away as Cas continued to kiss him again and again. Dean allowed them that moment which was solely theirs until he tell the painful truth about his relationship with Sam. 

When they finally stopped, Dean led his former lover to sit on the couch. Cas pulled him in for another kiss the second they're settled next to each other that Dean can't possibly resist him. He loved Cas and the feeling he had for him now's much stronger than before he left. But incessant thoughts of Sam and betrayal haunted his mind that he had to reluctantly pull away from Cas' lips and breathlessly told him to stop.

"I love you so so much....never doubt that, Cas......but I can't..and..I don't know how to tell you.about Sam..." Dean cried softly, unable to meet Cas gaze when he said that, afraid of the response he might get but instead, Cas touched their foreheads together and said softly,"Dean...I know you're with Sammy now and baby, believe me that I'm not angry with either of you...just sad that things turned out this way for us. I...." he stalled, choking back on his tears and continued,"I am grateful that he's here for you when I wasn't because I would not forgive myself Dean if something worst happened to you my love...I can't live with myself knowing that.." Cas cried and then kissed Dean chastely on the mouth.

"Do you love him..?" he asked but Dean bowed his head, unable to give him the answer.

"Are you afraid to tell me?" Cas asked gently lifting Dean's chin up to look at him. Cas brushed his tears off and smiled wanly. "You don't have to Dean, with me..you know that. I love you but if you love him too, I can understand. It hurts so bad but your happiness and honesty is first and foremost to me. Tell me the truth, Dean, I beg of you. Spare me from lies...you know I won't tolerate those." he added half jokingly with a small laughter. Dean wished he could join in the fake joy he portrayed but he can't. He loved Sam but not the way he loved Cas.

When Dean still didn't answer, Cas decided to change the subject."Where is he by the way? At work or school, Dean?" Dean's clenching heart felt a little relief by those questions that he immediately whispered,"He'll be in Miami for work for two weeks. Left this morning."

"Oh...I see." Cas replied and played with Dean's hands on his lap. "God's mysterious plans..." he said as an afterthought.

"I hate Him." Dean responded without preamble and Cas didn't scold him like he used to before. In fact he felt that he could agree too because this wasn't how he wanted them to end. He chose Dean but Dean had chosen Sam and the other man's not there to defend his love. It's not right and so he asked Dean to decide what to become of them. It angered Dean suddenly that all the pent up emotions he felt poured out involuntarily.

"Why must it be up to me, Cas?? I'm not the one who left! How dare you make me decide?!!" Dean spat as he pulled himself roughly away from Cas' hold.

"Dean! I'm so sorry, please forgive me! I need you to decide for us because I can't. I can't leave you but if you do I think I can understand!" Cas urgently responded, trying to close their gap but Dean pushed him away.

"FUCK YOU, CAS!! As easy as that huh?!! Yeah I decide now that you're not the one for me! We never fucked anyway! Sam fucked me! Couple of times!! You happy now?! He fucked me, Cas! Yes, he did!! NOW LEAVE!!! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!" Dean yelled and threw the boat's door opened, initiating Cas to leave. 

Cas had suspected their sexual intimacies the minute his father told him in New York but to have Dean confessed them in such a way broke his heart to million pieces. There was no way now to contest or fight for his love. Dean can't possibly let Sam touched him if there's no true love involved.

"...you loved him then,..... you only need to tell me that Dean. Not those, I don't wanna hear them, sweetheart. I love you too much..it hurt too much. I'm leaving. Please forgive me." the pain in his voice affected Dean so much that he abruptly stopped his former lover from walking away.

"I will never forgive you Cas if you leave me again this time. I swear to your fucking God!" he gritted that Cas pulled him into a searing kiss without warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive the unforgivable errors


	97. Chapter 97

Cas almost fell when Dean pushed him away and telling him to stop. "Dean...Wha..what's wrong?!" he asked, startled and confused by the blonde's conflicting demeanor towards him. Didn't Dean just gave him an ultimatum they both know he won't refuse? 

Cas tried to reach out to him again but Dean kept him at arm's length. "Please, ...we need to talk this out with Sam. He's our friend and needed to know what happened to you all these months. He must know what's happening here and that we still loved each other. I don't think we should...be this close until he comes back. We owe him at least that, Cas." Dean implored sadly and Cas gave out a heavy sigh before nodding.

"Yes, I understand and I'll respect your wishes but you do realize that you owe me the truth too, Dean. You still have not answered my question. Do you love him?" Cas reminded softly and Dean moved away to sit on the edge of the sofa again. He stared at the beautiful man he'd loved all his life took a deep breathe as he began confessing .

"Sam took me on a date for my birthday, we were so happy that we had sex that night...here." He saw Cas fidgeted nervously and then quickly added,"Please don't be upset because I regretted as soon as it was over, I swear! He got mad but we talked about it after. He's not your substitute, Cas... no one can ever be. I loved you so much. I don't know why I did it. I guessed I was desperate to forget about you, erase the love that we shared...move on or I'll go insane."Dean admitted sadly that Cas knelt before him, motioned for him to continue as he held Dean's hands. Even though his mind burned with jealousy at the thought of them together in that very bed in the cabin.

"Sammy became much more patient with me, he waited and waited till I finally let him in because I felt that he could help me get over you. I was giving myself a second chance, falling for him, his unwavering attention that pulled me to him but now here you are, in the flesh, telling me to decide for all three of us...how can I do that Cas? How?!" he pleaded in choked sobs that Cas pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Please don't cry my love. This was all my fault and I'm to be blamed. I will talk to him...don't you worry about it and if he hit me so be it because I truly deserved it, Dean. I love you so much and I will face his wrath." he promised and kissed Dean's forehead reverently. "I will be staying at a hotel nearby. I will call you and see you later tonight. Let me recover from this horrible jetlag. Try to get some sleep too alright? Let me call Ellen, I want her to watch over you."  Cas got up and Dean pulled him back down. "No, Cas please don't. I'm afraid she would want to talk about us and I'm not ready to tell her anything yet."

Cas cradled his face and smiled softly,"Don't worry I will tell her for you too. I don't want you to be alone that's all, sweetheart."

Dean nodded and watched his lover talked to his aunt on the phone. Cas only left him when she finally arrived at the pier. Ellen promised not to ask Dean anything until Cas talked to her later that evening. She offered him to stay at the cottage but he declined politely. He wanted to stay nearer to Dean because it made him felt better. 

Crowley watched the handsome young man left Dean's boat from his car. Why?, boyfriend's not staying the night, he thought strangely to himself. He need to change that situation or his plans to get Dean back into his mundane life will definitely fail again.

 

 

 


	98. Chapter 98

Sam threw his large duffel bag on the bed, reached for the hotel phone by the bedside and called Dean right away. It took a while for his boyfriend to pick up and when he did, Sam detected sadness in his voice.

"Dean? Are you alright?" he asked, worried.

"I am Sammy. Just a little tired that's all. I woke up pretty early this morning, remember?" Dean's soft chuckle made him smile and said,"I miss you Dean." Dean went silent on the other end before asking how was his flight. It hurt him a little but he brushed if off and then told him that it was good that he managed to sleep a little.

"That's good to know, how's the hotel on South Beach?!" Dean quickly added, he sounded a little nervous now that Sam can't help but asked again if everything's alright on the other end and when Dean assured that it was, he forced himself to let it go. 

"The view is so beautiful Dean. I really wished that you're here with me baby. I know you will hit the beach right away." Sam said with a small laughter and glad that Dean laughed too but still avoided his intimate comments. Sam didn't want to read into it but Dean's aloofness made him questioned himself why.

"Curious quick question, Dean." he said. Dean laughed and said,"Shoot."

"Is Back Up Crowley there with you?" he asked and Dean laughed louder this time.

"NO, silly! Quit worrying about the poor Scotsman will you?!" Dean replied and Sam laughed with him.

"Do you miss me, Dean?" he asked despite himself. 

"Yes, Sammy, very much.." Dean whispered softly and realized that it's the truth. Sam's lively, funny and active. He's like a ray of sunshine to most people and it's so easy to miss him when he's not around. Dean wondered if he only missed that about Sam sometimes but refused to entertain his negative notion. Sam's his boyfriend now and Cas' his former lover. But the thought of seeing Cas again later warmed his heart. He missed his ex lover and felt like shit again for betraying his wonderful Sam.

"Two weeks seemed too long to be away from you but I will work hard, I promise and buy you lots of souvenirs. What would you like, Dean? A large straw hat to protect those adorable freckles on your face, or neon colored thongs?" Sam joked and Dean burst out laughing at the other end. For awhile Cas gone from Dean's mind. Because Sam always managed to make him happy while Cas continuously making him sad. 

"I wish you good luck and have fun alright? Please be safe too, I heard there're lots of pickpockets there? Is that true?" Dean asked and Sam joked that he has holes in his pocket so it didn't matter. They ended the call a few minutes later when Sam said he needed to shower and meet with the producers. 

Ellen commented on the happy conversations when Dean hang up the phone. "I like to see you happy, Dean. Sam makes you happy." she said and Dean knew what she's getting at.

"I do wanna talk to you about this, aunt but I'm afraid I might not give you the answer you need to hear. I know everyone wanted me to be with Sammy, that he's good for me but I'm still in love with Cas. I can't wait to see him again soon that I can't help myself. I'm so sorry." Dean confessed, almost in tears again that Ellen reached out to him. She held him close and said she understood that it's not easy for him especially when Sam's far away and Cas' so near.

"I just want you to be happy and at peace, Dean. I'm so afraid if you choose Cas, and if he leaves you again, Sam won't pick up the pieces this time because you've betrayed his trust. I wished that you would tell him that Cas' is back. Keeping this from him will only make things worse between all of you." Ellen warned him gently yet firm. Dean maybe an adult but she still has to guide him about matters in life.

"I wanted to but this is an important project for Sammy, aunt. I can't do that to him, not now, at least till he gets back." Dean replied, brushing off his tears which seemed endless since Cas reappeared in his life.

Ellen pulled away and looked at him. "May I ask you something?" Dean nodded.

"Are you hoping to reignite the love you have for each other?" Ellen asked carefully and Dean shook his head crying,"I don't know...I really can't think right now. I'm so sorry.."

Ellen nodded and then the phone rang. It was Castiel. She handed the call to Dean and then watched him from a distance.

"Did you get a good sleep?" Dean asked his former lover.

"Just a short power nap. Feel much better now. Did you get some rest too sweetheart?" Cas asked gently on the other line.

"I can't, Cas. I can't stop thinking about us, our situation." Dean confided sadly.

"I'm coming over now, my love. Please don't be sad alright? Is Ellen still there? Did you guys eat yet?" Cas queried and Dean said no, not yet since he's not hungry.

"I'll buy some pasta from the Italian restaurant downstairs. We'll eat together on the boat. Is there anything else you need, baby?" he asked Dean again and then conveyed the same question to his aunt.

Ellen can't eat, she's worried like hell for her nephew but Cas insisted that he got them dinner so she said okay.

When the man finally arrived, they all ate quietly at the deck. It was a very beautiful summer night. The moon is full with dark sky blanketed with shining stars. 

"Do you remember the first time we walked by the canal together, Dean?" Cas reminded with a smile.

"Yes...I will never forget..it was a beautiful night like this." Dean replied softly, reminiscing the wonderful moments when they were young. It felt like a million years ago. Ellen watched Cas looking at her nephew adoringly and then reached out for his hand.

"I'm not gonna leave again this time, Dean. I promise you." he said, squeezing Dean's hand when the blonde didn't meet his gaze.

"I swear, Dean." he reiterated and Ellen can't help but intervened when Dean didn't reply. She's doing it for him.

"What about Sam, Cas? He's with Dean now. You can't just dismiss him, he's your friend too." she reminded semi seriously.

"I know Ellen and that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I want to be with Dean, if he'll have me and with your blessings." To Dean he said,"I didn't mean to leave without a word, sweetheart but I wondered did you ever receive any of my voice messages? I left them on your dorm machine and also at the mansion. I can't leave a number because it was from a private residence. There were no public phones that I can use anywhere in that remote town so I wrote to you instead. So many letters, Dean but I can't get them to you because the post office workers in the village were on strike. I know you might think that these all seemed too far fetched, that I was making up excuses but I swear that it's the God's truth." explained Cas earnestly, the need to get those off his chest was pressing indeed. 

Dean moved closer to him and gave him a hug. "I believe you...and I have a confession to make too. I'm sorry that I chose not to listen to your messages at the dorm because I thought that you left me for good this time, Cas. I was too distraught cause it happened too many times that I can't handle it anymore. I just can't.." Dean broke down that Cas held him tight in his arms.

"Don't cry, my love. We're clearly victims of circumstances but I'm not gonna let you go without a fight." he whispered to Dean but Ellen could hear him well.

"I'm sorry but may I know just what do you mean by that? " she asked curiously if not a little stern. Dean's not the only one torn here because she cared so much for Sammy too. 

"I want to ask Sam to let go of Dean because we're meant for each other. God knows how many times I almost gave up on myself if not for the constant thoughts of your nephew. Please understand this Ellen that I loved Dean and always will. I can't lose him not even to Sam that I trusted. I'm leaving the church and begin a new life with him with your blessing. I need your blessings, please." Cas implored and Ellen immediately asked him what about Dean? Has he thought about her nephew's dilemma, caught between him and Sam? She was getting a bit agitated and she knew why because among them three, Dean's the one will suffer the most. If he made the wrong choice then he will live his life with so much regret and she will only have herself to blame too for not giving him the best advice. 

Dean pulled away from Cas' arms and said,"Cas. Aunt. Please, don't argue on my account. I will not let you both fight because of me."

"No, sweetheart. Your aunt has every right to be upset but I will prove to her that I'm worthy of your love." Cas affirmed, looking at Ellen who stared back at him and then turned to his nephew.

"I don't know what else to say, it's up to the both of you to do the right thing. You're all adults now and I wish for no one to get hurt but that's impossible, isn't it? I'm going home. Please take care of yourselves and thank you for dinner Castiel." she said before getting up to leave. Dean rushed after her and pulled her aside.

"Aunt, please stay.." he pleaded in a hushed whisper. Cas remained at the deck, allowing them some privacy to talk.

Ellen looked at him questioningly. "Why, Dean? Isn't this what you wanted? You said you still loved him and that you missed him. So I leave you two alone. I don't care if you ended in bed together, it's not my business." she said stiffly as she gathered her purse while walking towards the door.

"Aunt, please don't be mad at me because I can't decide. I thought you understood." he pleaded sadly.

Ellen took pity on him when she saw the tears forming fast in his eyes again. Dean's gonna suffer a terrible headache the next morning she thought because she too felt the pain now. 

"Listen. When you're with Sam, you're not cheating on Cas because he's gone for so long but you're cheating on Sam now with Cas if you did something later. Even when you choose Cas in the end, do the right thing, Dean. Let your conscience dictates your action, alright sweetheart?" she reminded gently and Dean hugged her tight.

"Thank you..I love you, aunt."

"I love you too, Dean, please sleep well tonight. I will call you tomorrow." 

Sam was having a good time meeting his new working colleagues and his producer that they asked if he'd like to come with them to a very famous nightclub there. He politely declined but they insisted that he come along. 

"You won't regret this, Sammy and don't be fool with those beauties on stage, they're your brothers!" his producer revealed and the rest laughed with him. Sam thought about Dean and decided to call him the next day instead. He will try to have fun even when the blonde's constantly on his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished watching the movie "Bokeh" and it was so fucking good...


	99. Chapter 99

"Your aunt didn't approve of us, Dean. It's so obvious that she wanted you to be with Sammy. I wanna know how you feel about that?" Cas asked worriedly as soon as Dean returned to the deck. The blonde looked at him in resignation and whispered softly.

"I don't know, Cas...but this isn't about her or her approval. Please know that. It's about you, me and Sammy." Dean whispered softly. Cas got up and pulled his chair closer to him. He held both Dean's hands and said, "When I was in Naples...I can't stop thinking about you. Thoughts of you were what kept me sane when things proved too much for me to bear. It wasn't just my faith, Dean. You..and our memories together." Dean pulled him close, kissing his temple hard, saying that he's so sorry for what happened to him. 

"Dean, I can't let go of us. I love you too much." Cas voice broke as he pleaded that Dean held on tighter.

"I love you so much too...but I'm torn, Cas..so torn. " Dean admitted sadly that it was Cas' turn to comfort him. He didn't want to see Dean cry, he wanted his love to smile, be happy that he was near but all he did was making him sad since he returned.

Cas pulled away gently and held Dean's face. "I don't want you to be sad, sweetheart. It doesn't suit you. You're beautiful, Dean and I really want you to be happy. Sam did that, he made you happy and I should thank him instead of pressurizing you to choose between us now."  

Dean stared at him in disbelief and said."Here's the thing! I don't know if you really love me! That thing you just said, that you can't let go of us, was it true or was it just lip service because it sure sounded that you're giving up on me already! Again! You almost left me this afternoon, Cas if I hadn't stopped you, remember?!"

His outburst made Cas reached out for him, hoping to calm him down but Dean pushed him away roughly and continued to rage."Tell me! Am I that easy to leave?! Not worth fighting for, rebel for?! We all cared about our family, Cas but you've let your mother's selfishness come between us, separated us time and again! I've loved you and waited for you all these years even when Sam's pining away for me! I've been faithful to you up until now! I am risking this new relationship with him for you! For the love that we had for each other and you wanted to do what, Cas?! Thank him?!! He didn't need your gratitude! He cared for me because he truly does you asshat!!" 

Cas was dumbfounded. He wasn't trying to give up on them when he appreciated Sam's efforts to cheer his lover during his absence. He took a long deep breathe and chose his words very carefully this time. 

"Dean. I'm sorry but you've misunderstood me sweetheart. I'm sorry for saying the wrong words and made you mad. I'm not leaving you, Dean. I told you I will be waiting for his return. You're mine Dean, we belonged to each other. If I have my way, I will call him right now or take that flight to Miami and tell him in person. Give me the green light and I'll do it. Please..?" he begged but Dean shook his head, without looking at him. He's still angry with his former lover.

"We'll wait for him to return. Think you should leave. I need my sleep, class starts at seven." Dean said flatly.

"Dean..." Cas called softly but the blonde ignored him and and walked towards the cabin.

"Dean...please don't be angry with me. I swear that's not what I meant. Please believe me, my love." Cas pleaded but Dean already held the door wide opened for him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Cas. Have a good rest." he said a little nicely this time. Cas stepped into his space and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Goodnight, Dean. Sleep tight, sweetheart." 

Dean shut the door behind him and closed his eyes, relieved that Cas didn't ask to stay, it will only add to the guilt he already felt that day. He's glad that his little "drama" worked and Cas left. Though he did betrayed Sam by proclaiming his love for Cas but sleeping with the man is another thing altogether. He missed his ex lover like crazy though, the minute he's gone. He stopped himself to call Sam but receive no answer and didn't leave any messages since he didn't know how he would sound like. He's not a hypocrite yet he was. It's so fucking confusing that he forced himself to go to bed.

Crowley saw Castiel left the boat for the second time that day. Interesting, he thought to himself because he was sure that the ex lovers would fuck that night. Well, he just needed a few more shots until Sam see the evidence. Crowley can hardly wait .

It was a great burlesque show that the performers put on that by the end of the night, Sam and his co workers were so drunk that they were driven back to the hotel by the owner of the club himself. The man didn't mind one bit since the producer promised to use his vicinity in one part of the film. 

Sam slept in till afternoon the next day and when he woke up, he immediately checked if there was any messages from Dean on the phone but there was none. It left him a little disturbed thinking that Dean didn't miss him. He was about to call him at work when the producer called to inform him to be ready soon cause they'll be going sightseeing since their actor postponed his journey to Miami again.

Sam stared at the phone for a bit and then took a quick shower. It was a happy outing and from the outside, he seemed to be enjoying himself but Sam's heart and mind weren't at peace. He can't wait to get back to the hotel and call Dean. Hoping so much that Crowley's not back in Dean's life.


	100. Chapter 100

Cas sat thinking on the hotel bed after talking to his dad on the phone. Zachariah had apologized for lying about his mother’s condition to protect him from finding out about Sam and Dean’s affair. He told his father that it was okay but he wasn’t. Dean was right.

His mother had dominated him for the last time. Dean’s his first and only love. There’re too many memories of them together to let go. The sweetest one was when they promised to never lose each other’s love while going through all the endless obstacles they faced.

He loved Dean and there’s still want in his lover’s eyes even when he told him to leave earlier. Cas not giving up. Circumstances and his weakness that led him to this situation they’re in. He’ll take the blame and will win Dean’s heart again.

Dean woke up the next morning feeling lousier than the night before. He felt bad for kicking his former lover out and wondered if he left for good when the phone rang. Thinking it was Cas, he rushed to pick it up, ready to apologize but it was Sam instead. His boyfriend was worried about him, asking why he hasn’t called and so on. Dean’s guilt amplified when he lied about being busy getting art stuffs for the new project in school. Sam believed him readily and then apologized for his insecurity.

“Don’t laugh kay…but I’m so afraid that you ran off with Crowley. Can’t get this stupid idea out of my mind, Dean. I think I’m gonna go nuts missing you..” Sam explained with a nervous chuckle. Dean laughed with him but his heart warmed upon hearing his confession that he almost tells him about Cas when another call came in for Sam.

“Dean, baby, I’m sorry but I gotta go. My producer called for an urgent meeting about our actor who decided to postpone his trip again. I will call you soon, alright?” Sam rushed over the phone and Dean told him that he understood.

“Take care, Sammy. Talk to you soon.” He said and they ended the call.

Dean took a quick shower and got dressed in a red plaid shirt and worn jeans. He grabbed his big bag filled with art supplies and then walked out of the boat only to see his former lover already waiting on the street.

Cas looked so good in his white button down shirt and dark jeans that his traitorous heart skipped a beat.

“How long have you been standing there?” he asked curiously, walking towards the man who’s leaning against a red convertible.

“Honestly? About an hour ago? I forgot to ask how early will you be leaving for work today, Dean.” Cas replied with a smile.

“Why…and whose car is that?” Dean asked carefully, checking out the beautiful machine behind his former lover.

“It’s a rental and I would like to drive you to your school, if it’s alright with you, Dean?” Cas pleaded softly that Dean didn’t have the heart to turn him down.

“Okay..and thanks..” he answered and Cas took the things from his hand then placed them in the trunk.

“What time your class starts?” he asked and Dean told him in about two hours.

“You’re very early then. Maybe we can have a quick breakfast first?” Cas suggested and again Dean find himself nodding with agreement. He should’ve lied to Cas saying that he’s late but he can’t. He can’t lie to Cas but appalled that he could with Sam. Guilt overcame him again that he quickly looked away. Thankfully, Cas was busy looking for a opened café nearby to notice his demeanour.

They ate quietly, Dean apologized for his behaviour which Cas assured him that it was okay, that he understood and in returned apologized too for his stupidity all these years.

“I’m gonna make up for all the lost time, Dean. I want to be here for you, for us. No more obstacles, no one should separate us again. I love you and you love me that’s all that matters.” He said solemnly that Dean hastily mentioned Sam.

“What about Sam? It’s like he didn’t exist to you, Cas. He called me just now asking why I’ve not been in touch and that he missed me thought that he’s going crazy. He loved me, Castiel.” Dean reminded and Cas nodded calmly.

“I know, Dean. I’m not dismissing him because I decided to fly to Miami and tell him my intention to be with you. Come what may, I don’t care anymore. I love you. You loved me too right, Dean?”he asked and Dean breathed out nervously.

“I do and you already know that but I won’t allow you to go to him, Cas. He’s happy doing the things he loved right now and I won’t allow you to destroy that.” Dean explained hurriedly.

“Then wait until two weeks over to tell him? You think that won’t break his heart more, Dean? I’ve thought about this, let me take the blame, you don’t have to worry, sweetheart.” Cas reiterated.

Dean can’t find another words to say because Cas’ right. Cas took his silence in a different light.

“Unless you don’t want to lose him either….am I guessing this right, Dean..?” he asked softly but Dean just looked helplessly at him.

“You can’t have the both of us at the same time, sweetheart.” Cas laughed though he didn’t feel the humour in his own words.

Dean rubbed his face tiredly and then held Cas’ hands in his.

“Let me deal with him, please. I beg you…” he implored and Cas relented. They ate quietly and when they finally reached the school, Dean found out that more students decided to join his class last minute. The headmaster apologized for the situation but Dean assured him that he would happily accommodate the new attendees. Castiel offered his assistance and Dean was glad that his former boyfriend remembered the things that he taught him before.

It was a fun and exciting day for the both of them that it felt like old times when they used to paint together. Cas was mesmerized by Dean’s natural talent and interactions with the children. They adored him and he was reminded of the times he spent at the orphanage. They shared the same passion and he could easily see himself living with Dean and few of their adopted children in the near future. They would be very happy together.

Dean’s the one for him, there’s no doubt about it.

Sam’s producer was mad. He said that the filming will have to be cancelled if the actor didn’t fly in by the third day. The day was spent discussing about the problems at hand that Sam didn’t have time to call Dean again that night.

That night, Cas stayed at the boat, holding an exhausted Dean to sleep. They didn’t have sex but that wasn’t what Crowley thought as he waited patiently for Cas reappearance which didn’t happen. He could’ve hired someone to do this dirty job but he wanted to see this chaos himself. So intrigued that he slept in his car till the next morning when he saw Cas left the boat with Dean hugging him close at the pier.

“Now..That..will do it..” Crowley said pleasingly to himself as he puts his camera away, heading towards the photo developer.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	101. Chapter 101

Dean called Sam as soon as Cas left and Sam told him about the possibility of filming being canceled. He sounded so forlorn that Dean felt sorry for him. He knew how much Sam's hoping for this break to help his career. 

"I..uh..I think I should rest Dean. Spent half the night talking about this shit with the crews that I don't get enough sleep. I'm so sorry, baby. I call you when I get up later in the evening? Hope we'll get some good news about that moronic actor tomorrow." he said and Dean let him go. He called his aunt next. The first thing she asked was if he and Cas slept together that he shook his head laughing lightly.

"No but was that what bothered you the most, aunt?" he asked and Ellen chided him on the phone.

"You know what I meant, Dean. Is he there with you?" she asked.

"He's back at the hotel this morning and yes, he did spent the night with me but we did nothing. Please have some faith, aunt. It's Cas we're talking about here." he reminded and Ellen somehow believed him.

"Did you call Sam? When he's coming home, Dean?" she asked.

"I did but he's busy because there's a problem with his project. He might come home soon. Part of me wanted to get this over with, but I'm so afraid of the consequences, aunt. Cas said he will take the blame but I don't want to hurt Sam. I really don't. " he admitted weakly.

"You have to face this like a man, Dean. It's been days and I don't think Sam will take both your secrets lightly. He has a temper and he might hit your lover...are you prepared for that, Dean?" she asked.

"Honestly? I felt like running away. Guess I'm a coward but then again I never wished for this to happen to me. I never knew that Cas will come back and for good this time. He wanted to be with me even raise a little family by adopting. He begged me not to leave him aunt. I don't want to but I don't want to hurt Sammy either. I'm fucked." he cursed.

"Maybe that's what you should do, Dean. Go away, think for yourself who or what you wanted. I'll come with you cause I don't trust you to be alone." she joked and Dean laughed softly.

"Sounds like a great idea. I'll keep you posted, aunt." he promised and Ellen replied,"You'd better."

They fell silent for abit before Ellen asked his plans for that day.

"Cas wanted to take the boat out to the ocean to watch the sunset. Would you like to come with us?" he asked and Ellen declined.

"He wanted to be alone with you, Dean. He's trying to win you again till you decide to leave Sam. Can't you see?" she asked and Dean told her he's aware of his former lover's intention. 

"I really wish I could help you, tell you what to do but believe me when I said that you already knew the answer to this problem. You knew who you wanted to be with but you're afraid of the repercussions. All I can say is that maybe you should follow your heart. I wanted to protect you so much but there's always risks in love and life we can't avoid. Just be true to yourself, Dean." she professed calmly and Dean thanked her before ending the call.

That day while watching the beautiful sun sets, Cas had kissed him so passionately that they almost take it further if not for the call from Sam. Cas fought for the phone but Dean kept pushing him away and ended the call abruptly.

"What the hell, Cas! I already told you to let me do this my way! Why are you so goddamn stubborn?!!" he yelled as he slammed the phone on it's cradle and pulled away the cord.

Cas was so mad that he retorted. "No, Dean! I wasn't being stubborn! All I wanted to know is why must we still hold on when it's obvious that we loved each other?! Was he that good in bed that you simply can't let go?!!"

Dean can't believe his ears that he shoved the man away but unfortunately they were in the middle of the sea. He can't throw the man out like he did few days before. So he shouted,"Fuck you, Cas!! Fuck off!! Leave me the fuck alone!!" He ran downstairs to his cabin and locked the door. Cas grunted in frustrations, pulled at his hair, immediately regretted his actions and then went after him.

It took a lot of coaxing and gentle persuasion before Dean finally opened the door and let him in. Cas spent the night apologizing to his lover with sweet kisses and promises to be more careful with his words.

Sam tried calling but there was no answer from Dean. He's angry, with both his job and his boyfriend that he left the hotel room to go to the bar downstairs. The receptionist saw him and called out his name.

"Mr Wesson. There's a package for you. It just arrived this morning. We tried calling your room earlier but there was no answer." She said with a warm smile while retrieving a large manila envelope from the drawer.

"Here it is." she gave to him. Sam thanked her before inspecting the mail. His curiosity piqued when there was no sender written on it. He thanked the receptionist again and then went to the bar. The contents inside made him finished off the whole bottle of whiskey on the counter in record time.


	102. Chapter 102

Sam continued stuffing his clothes furiously into his duffel bag while the producer pleaded him to stay thinking that he's fed up waiting for their actor.

"Come on, Sam, just one more day! Please! We need you and I'm positive that asshat will be here tomorrow. We're paying him good money for such a simple role!" the older man explained in exasperation but Sam couldn't hear him as his mind only zeroed in on the photos of Dean and Cas that he saw earlier. He can't wait to get home and confront the cheaters.

Gonna surprise them with his unwanted presence and witnessed the pure shock on their faces when caught in the act! How dare they fucking did this to him?!! How dare Dean lied to him?!! That's why he ended their call midway because his fucking ex was there! Vicious thoughts repeated like crazy in his head. Anger, betrayal and sadness made him yelled at the producer to shut the fuck up and moved away from the door for him to pass. 

Luckily the producer heeded his warnings without another word of protest. It seemed that they will have to cancel the show after all. Sam's such a promising young director and he's more valuable than the stupid actor, he thought with much regret. 

At the airport, Sam had a heated argument with the ticketing officer who informed him that there's no more seats left for the next domestic flight to Los Angeles. He was about to lose it when the manager came to settle the dispute. The man asked if he would like to purchase a costly first class ticket from an international airline instead and Sam paid him without hesitation. He truly can't wait to get home and get to the bottom of this.

Really, what the fuck was Dean thinking and who the fuck sent those incriminating photos to him? Dean's enemy or his? He don't remember them having any unless they're Michael's friends. But he would gladly thanked the stranger for meddling in their private lives or he would forever be in the dark.

He wanted to hate Dean so much for doing this to him but his love for the blonde got in the fucking way. He cursed himself inside. But he knew that he won't have any reservations in hitting Cas and truly can't wait to exact his revenge. It's long overdue. Sam's not standing by and watched him hurt Dean again. No way in hell, Castiel! he thought with rage as the plane took off.

Cas kissed Dean's temple when the blonde finally dozed off in his arms. He then got up from the bed carefully and went upstairs to steer the boat back to the pier. Glad that Dean forgave his harsh words earlier. He didn't mean to say it aloud but he was crazy jealous thinking that Sam had his lover first and berated himself for abstaining before.

Now they have to wait till Sam comes back and settle this problem between them. It was the only right thing to do left in Dean's opinion. If Cas has his way, he would take Dean far far away but Dean wouldn't want that not to mention a cowardly move too. He will face Sam and ready to put up a fight with the taller man. He remembered the last time he won that argument when Sam decked his father. That day felt like a hundred years ago. 

Both Dean and him have more than a week to spend time together before Sam comes home but Cas knew they won't feel at peace until then. His mother had called to tell him that he'll be making a huge mistake since he's turning against his religion, that God will punished him dearly for this. Cas had remained unaffected through her lectures but inside he can't help praying that she's wrong. That God will forgive him because he's doing it for love not to hurt anyone but who was he kidding? He's about to hurt Sam. Sam who saved Dean from drowning even before they met. Sam who continuously supported Dean when he's not around for months on end all these years? If anything, God will take Sammy's side, not his. 

This clarity saddened Cas deeply but he willed it to go away. He loved Dean and he promised to prove it. Come what may.

Sam got up as soon as the pilot announced that the plane doors will be opening soon. He ignored the flight attendant pleas to settle back in his seat. When the door finally opens he rushed out towards the heart of the terminal and out to the taxi stand. He cut the queues and received all kinds of obscenities from the other waiting passengers ahead of him. Sam couldn't care less as he ordered the cab driver to take him to the pier in Venice immediately.

 

 


	103. Chapter 103

Sam arrived at the same time Cas was turning the engine off. "NOVAK!!" Sam shouted in contempt while holding the envelope of photos in his hand. His duffel bag was discarded without much care as he marched towards a startled Cas who was rendered speechless by his sudden appearance.

Dean was jolted from his slumber too when he heard his boyfriend's loud voice that he rushed out of the cabin to come between the men he loved before anything bad happens to either of them.

"Sammy." Cas spoke, voice unsure as he slowly made his way downstairs.

"Don't fucking Sammy me, man! Just tell me why the fuck are you here with Dean now, asshole?!" Sam growled, fists ready to deck his rival but Dean managed to stop him before he got to Cas. 

"No Sammy, please! Let's talk, we should talk please!" Dean pleaded urgently, blocking his furious boyfriend fast but was completely ignored by the enraged man, so he tried again.

"Please, Sammy. Be calm, please..for me..?" 

Sam finally stopped and snorted before slapping the enveloped against his chest. "For you? How about you Look at these shit, Dean and then ask yourself if I should be calm." Cas watched curiously from the steps as Dean opened the envelope and stared at the pictures of them together. His lover's green eyes darted immediately to Sam who shut him up before he could say anything.

"I will deal with "us" later. Make no mistake about that but don't worry, Dean, you're not entirely to be blame. It's he who manipulated you time and again with his hypocrisy. Rest assured, this will be his last." Sam muttered angrily before pouncing on an unsuspecting Cas. Hit him repeatedly on his face that the man didn't stand a chance, unable to defend himself due to the disadvantage position he's in. One misstep and he would've either fallen to the bottom of the landing or into the dark water. Fearing for Cas' life, Dean immediately threw the pictures away and grabbed Sammy fast from behind, yelling at him to stop.

"SAMMY STOP!!!!PLEASE STOP!!" he shouted out loud in Sam's ear, trying so hard to pull him away but Sam's strength combined with his determination to hurt his enemy had Dean believed that he's already out of his mind. Sam's in a trance and not even God could stop him now. Dean's fear heightened at the horrifying situation they're in that he began to shout for help and cried on the back of Sam's neck, begging him to stop.

"Sammy...please...for the love of God, please stop! you're going to kill him, Sammy. You're going to kill him!" Dean's distress voice earlier had alerted the other boaters who finally came out to intervene. They tried to pry a helpless Cas from Sam's strong clutches while coaxing Dean to let go, afraid that he would get hurt too in the process. When they finally saved Cas from Sam, someone yelled at Dean to call 911. Cas was brutally injured and he fell unconscious despite efforts to make him stay awake. 

Dean stumbled downstairs to make the call. The officer barely understand the words he said amidst his cries. And after he ended the call, Dean was afraid to go back upstairs. His body shook with terror at the thought of Cas' dead and it's all his fault. His harrowing cries was heard by one of Bobby's friend who rushed to help him.

After awhile, Dean finally calmed down and went to the deck. He saw three men restraining an equally calmed Sam while two others attended to a motionless Castiel on the floor. "Dean, you should stay downstairs, sonny." one of Bobby's friend advised gently and Sam lifted his head upon hearing his name then stared at him blankly. 

"Sammy..I am so sorry...please forgive me.." Dean called out in choked sobs as he approached the man slowly. Sam smiled sadly at him before bowing his head, letting his long hair shield his face now streaked with tears of regret as the loud sounds of sirens greeted them not too far away.

Dean watched him and Cas helplessly. The scene before him was too much for him to bear that he immediately dropped to the floor. Paramedics rushed both him and Cas to the hospital while Sam was taken to the police station.

 

 

 


	104. Chapter 104

Epilogue

 

Cas looked out the small window of the plane. In less than two hours, he will arrive at his destination. His final destination. He willed for the tears to stop forming in his eyes again, and at the same time amazed that he still has his sights at this rate. He's been crying for months and it was worse at the end when he decided to leave Dean for good. 

For he has no right to be in love. And he has no right to be free. His mother has been right all along. Only through God would he know what he should be. Miracles happened almost immediately after he abandoned worldly happiness.

Bella had confessed the truth about her attack to the police so he, in return, would reveal the false accusation against her husband, Antonio. The pieces are falling back into place and it's all the Almighty's doing...

 

Sam read the important information in his hands. Tears fell and wet the paper but he wasn't concern because he was forgiven. He was free. His enemy has set him free, physically and emotionally. He will be released from these horrible prison at last and vowed to rebuild his life again.

And Dean should be with him, Cas had said when he gave his blessings sincerely but Sam was skeptic if he's still wanted by the man they both loved. Sam knew that it's all up to Dean now to decide what to become of them. Sam could only hope..

 

Dean was talked to but he hears nothing. All the well meaning, kind words and counsel from his beloved aunt can't make him change his mind. Cas left him for the last time after Dean pleaded him to drop the charges against Sam the day he recovered.

His former lover had wanted to do that even before he requested. Cas even joked that he was paying for his sins so Sam wasn't to be blamed for his act. No one's to blame but himself, Dean thought plainly.

Dean didn't know how or what to think about love anymore. So he made a decision about his useless existence.

 

Crowley never thought that luck will be on his side this time. Despite his success in the business world, his private life has always been pathetic. But he believed in hard (evil) work and he'd paid his dues to get here, finally. Cas can't prove his involvement in the false accusation against Antonio while Sam's still in the dark about who'd sent the photos. So after everything, he's innocent. Good old Crowley, he laughed to himself as he watched Dean sauntered towards his car with the most dazzling smile on his face. 

 

Dean knew about his jealousy. Dean knew that he's callous. If only he had stayed away from their problems, Dean wouldn't choose him to help him leave this earth. 

The reporters would have a field day the next morning when the cops found his murdered, drugged induced naked body next to a very wealthy, very powerful and very drunk businessman. Headlines, indeed.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this my ending coz Im screwed in d head but last chapter will be the alternate ending. Pls bear with me been super5X bz lately :(


	105. Chapter 105

Alternate ending

 

Sam was getting restless in the cab and impatiently told the driver to honk the other motorists, hastening them but the man refused. They're stuck in the heavy traffic for almost an hour that he threatened to leave the vehicle and continue his journey on foot. The cabby sighed tiredly and looked at him from the rear view mirror.

"Look, son. It's just a bottleneck alright? It's gonna clear up soon enough. This shit happens all the time." assured the cabby but Sam ignored him because all he really wanted was to get to the pier as soon as possible as unpleasant thoughts about Dean and Cas' secret trysts kept raging his heart and mind. He simply can't believe Dean would do this to him!

He willed for the photos to be fake but knew better that they were not. It's obvious that Dean had looked happy which Sam surmised that his boyfriend failed to tell his former lover about their relationship. Sam didn't know who he's angrier at now, Dean or Cas? Or maybe Dean did tell but Cas refused to let him go, even hired someone to take their pictures and then sent it to him. Sam knew the absurdity of his assumptions but he truly can't think straight anymore.

And just as he was about to yell at the driver, the vehicle began to move and heading fast towards the city. 

Castiel docked the boat at the pier and went downstairs to Dean's cabin. He watched his love sleeping peacefully in his bed. He kissed Dean's face lightly but the blond stirred in his sleep then slowly opened his eyes, squinting in the dark.

"....Cas..." Dean whispered and Cas smiled softly at him.

"Yes, baby. We're back at the pier." Cas said and then added regretfully,"I have to leave.."

Dean pushed himself up to sit and looked at Cas sleepily. "Cas...a little while more...please?" he pleaded and Cas hugged him, kissed him.

"I wanted to so much, Dean...but I can't trust myself, sweetheart. We agreed to wait for him to come back, remember?" Cas reminded gently in his ear. Dean nodded on his shoulder and then pulled away, staring at the man before him.

"...but what if..." Dean said, his voice sounded unsure and then he stopped. Cas looked at him and then smiled softly. 

"..I know...what if you can't decide....right?" he finished Dean's sentence for him. Dean frowned, bowed his head and nodded.

"Dean..." Cas began. "I don't want to pressure you into choosing between us. You would know what to do when he's here, baby. All you need to know is that I will always love you, no matter what your decide.." Cas assured as he tilted Dean's chin and kissed him softly on his lips. Dean's about to reciprocate when they heard the sound of loud heavy footsteps outside and then his door swung opened.

There stood Sammy, glaring at them as he threw his huge duffel bag across the floor. His presence stunned them both speechless but Cas calmly removed himself from Dean's bed and approached the raging man. 

"Sam. We have to talk." he said carefully and Sam scoffed with eyes full of hatred with what he just witnessed before him.

"Talk about what asshole?! Huh? About how you two have been making a fool of me behind my back?!" mocked Sam, voice loud, full of spite. Finally recovered from his shock, Dean quickly scrambled out of bed to try calm his angry boyfriend.

"Sammy! We have to talk! We need to talk about the three of us! Please. Don't assume anything, yet Sammy...We've done nothing! I swear!." Dean stammered in a panic.

Sam scoffed and responded harshly. "You expect me to believe that?!! Look at these Dean!!" He threw the photos at the blond who was caught by surprise again. The room was dark that Cas rushed to turn on the light and picked up the strewn pieces on the floor. He stared at the pictures in his hand and Dean who saw them asked urgently.

"Who...who took these?! Who gave you all these, Sam?!!" He was now concern about Sam's state of mind at that moment, afraid of his next action and tried to subdue him again but Sam cuts him midway.

"WHO GIVES A FUCK DEAN!! YOU CHEATED ON ME!!! WITH THIS MANIPULATING SON OF A BITCH!! WHY DEAN?!! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU TO US?!!" Sam's loud booming voice reverberated throughout the entire boat that even the few neighboring boaters heard him. 

"I never manipulated him, Sam! I loved him!" Cas jumped in to defend himself from Sam's accusation. 

Sam scoffed. "Yes you did, you asshole! Did you even know what happened to him while you were gone? Without even a goodbye?! Love my ass!!" The contempt he felt made him reached for Cas who was heading towards him too with his fist, but Dean was quick to come between them. 

"STOP!! JESUS CHRIST! STOP!!" Dean pushed Sam off and then turned to push Cas next. Thankfully they adhered to his urgent pleas and stand down.

"Fuck..." Dean muttered under his breathe with relief and then looked at them both hard. "Obviously, we can't all have this conversation together. I......I ...will speak to you first, Sammy, please..and I apologize for this, this situation...please forgive me but let's talk about it...if you truly love me.." he begged, almost in tears and Sam stared at him. His heart softened at the sight for Dean always managed to do that to him that he finally relented. He nodded and said okay. Cas quietly excused himself and waited at the deck.

Dean then told his current boyfriend everything from Cas' unprecedented departure and his fate in Naples, Italy to his sudden appearance in Los Angeles. He told Sam the truth that he still have feelings for Cas because they both have an unfinished business but at the same time treasured their budding relationship that it confused him to no end. He even assured Sam that he did not sleep with Cas while he was gone. Sam believed him and then asked what he's going to do about them. 

"You can't have us both, Dean. We're not children anymore.." Sam said with a slack humor.

"Cas said the same thing to me too..." Dean replied softly and then looked at Sam with tears in his eyes.

"I love you, Sammy.." he said, with choked voice."..and I am so sorry.." 

Sam grabbed him in his arms and let him cried it out. Dean went to speak to Cas next on the deck while Sam waited in the kitchenette, drinking a glass of whisky, trying to calm his nerves. All these years and it finally came to this. Their friendship, hanging on the line...all because of love. Sam pressed his eyes hard to stop the tears from falling and then gulped the hard liquor in one go.

Cas saw Dean coming up the stairs and got up from his seat to receive him. It was chilly despite the summer night that he removed his jacket and covered Dean's shivering body with it. 

"You okay, my love?" he whispered softly and led Dean back to where he sat earlier. Dean nodded and gave him a wan smile.

"Is everything okay between you two?" Cas asked again as he pulled Dean close next to him.

Dean nodded and then gazed up into Cas concerned blue eyes.

"I love you so much...but you've hurt me so much too Cas without you knowing. I can't have that..I don't want to get hurt again. It would kill me.." Dean confessed, tears glistened in his green eyes that Cas leaned down to give his forehead a longing kiss. He shut his eyes for he knew what Dean meant. He chose Sam.

"I love you, Dean. You've been the best and most important thing in my life next to my religion. I hope he will take very good care of you...take away your sadness, your pain and your loneliness. From afar, I will pray for you that in him you will find peace always. I will go back to Italy to mend the wrongs I made and if God willed it one day, we shall meet and I want to see you happy again, my love. Our love was not meant to be, Dean...please forgive me as I take my leave. I love you always.."

The lovers kissed each other for the last time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn if I do. Damn if I don't. :(


End file.
